Regina knew she should put out the candles. Not let them burn down. And she should probably eat the food instead of letting it cool. She should definitely put the wine back in an ice bucket, it wasn't supposed to be served room temperature.
But honestly, it wasn't like this was anywhere near close to being the most dramatic she'd ever been.
Emma had
promised.
A nice, romantic evening. Just the two of them. No Henry. No Charmings. No Storybrooke craziness. Just fine food and discourse, like civilized people. Eating something other than Granny's cooking and talking about something other than how to stop... the whale from Pinocchio with... Alice in Wonderland's tampon!
But no. Noooooooooooooo. Emma hadn't shown. Hadn't called. She was two hours
late
and Regina just knew, she
knew,
Emma had a great reason, a fine reason, a
fantastic
reason, she was oh so noble and self-sacrificing and just
had
to get a kitten out of a tree and save the town and make her parents proud.
God, Regina's butt was getting sore, sitting in this chair. She really hadn't thought that someone would sit for
this
long when she'd bought the dining set. They were sturdy, handsome chairs—teak—but overly comfortable, they were not.
The flames started guttering. They'd just about burnt out their candles. Regina stared at them. If Emma was dead, Regina was going to the underworld and killing her all over again. It would be just like her to pull
that shit
on date night.
Emma barged through the door. "I know I'm late—"
Regina was instantly on her feet, taking in the state of Emma. Clothes torn, face bloodied, and she didn't like the way Emma's arm hung loosely at her side. "Ms. Swan!" she exclaimed, more of a rictus-statement of sudden emotional violence than any kind of conscious thought.
"Hydra," Emma explained. She sounded woozy. In fact, if blood weren't streaming from either nostril, Regina would've said she sounded black-out drunk. "Had to kill it... kept growing back heads..."
So you should've called me,
Regina thought, kicking off her heels to rush to the cabinet and get the first aid kit. For once, she was unable to voice a criticism of Emma, not when she was suddenly panicking over the thought that it could be the last thing Emma ever heard.
"Know I should've called you," Emma said as Regina came and looked her over. "But the first head was really easy to cut off... thought I'd handle it... get here in time... the food looks really nice..."
"Shut up, Emma." Her injuries weren't so bad; Regina could be angry with her. Most of it she could heal with magic, but there'd have to be stitches. And Emma definitely wouldn't be in a fit state for slow-dancing and cocktails anytime soon.
"You look really nice too," Emma said. "Is that a Vera Wang?"
"Alexander McQueen," Regina corrected. She ripped at Emma's shirt, tracing her magic along a claw mark. It formed into ugly, knotted scar tissue. Later, Regina would pretty it up. For now, she just wanted Emma to stop losing blood.
Speaking of—
Regina muttered a spell under her breath. Instantly, a few quarts of O Negative replaced what Emma had let pool on Regina's floor, and probably painted half of Storybrooke with.
"I swear I had a cocktail dress—in my car," Emma heaved. "Just picked it up from the dry cleaner's. I was gonna change..."
Her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted dead away, improving the conversation considerably. Now Regina felt free to tell her what an idiot she'd been.
***
Emma woke—such as it was—about an hour later. Sewn up, bandaged, washed clean. She laid in Regina's bed, most of her clothes cut away so that Regina could heal her, an icepack banded around her black eye.
"So," she said, noting Regina in the room with her. "The sex was good?"
"Go back to sleep," Regina told her. "You're an idiot."
"It was going to eat half the town, Gina."
Regina made a show of thinking it over. "Which half?"
"You don't mean that. Come to bed."
"Bed? Emma, your arm's broken. You're lucky it's even
attached..."
"We can still cuddle. Well..." Emma regarded the cast Regina had put her right arm in. "You can cuddle."
"What makes you think I even want to cuddle with you? You ruined a perfectly good evening. I could've been watching House Hunters all this time and made a better night of it."
Emma just smiled at her.
Giving Emma a scowl for effort, Regina began to strip. She did want Emma in her arms. She wanted to be absolutely sure she knew where Emma was, absolutely sure Emma wasn't doing anything stupid like taking on a hydra with her half-trained magic and her useless pistol or, God help them,
a sword
like dear old dad. She wanted to double-check her work and make sure she really had healed Emma, that the woman hadn't just
slipped away
like she'd so desperately worried about.
And Emma let her. It still seemed a little impossible.
But less and less impossible every day.
***
The thing was, it was date night. Emma had been working late all week—apparently she
did
have a work ethic, it had just taken actually having
coitus
with her for Regina to be able to see it—and Regina had been somewhat looking forward to some tension relief. She lived in Storybrooke. There was tension.
And anticipation. Because she worked
with
Emma. Had to see her walking around in those tight jeans. Her tanktops. God help her, when she took off her jacket and was wearing a racerback underneath... and Emma knew it, too. Paid Regina back for all the teasing, which she'd done in good fun—rubbing Emma's foot under the table during a town meeting, that was being affectionate, everyone kept telling her to be more affectionate. But no,
Emma
had to leeeean over her desk, jutting her ass out like a ripe apple. Jeans tight enough that Regina could tell how much change she had on her. And that hair. And those eyes.
And, when they had time, the sex was good. They were raising one boy together and also the entire town, man-children all, especially August, who was literally a man-child. And it seemed like Rumpelstiltskin was always pulling some kind of shit. That didn't leave a lot of time for tension relief. To say nothing of how often they weren't even in the same realm.
Then there was the anticipation. She'd been planning date night all week and, call her Type A, but that extended to the sex. She'd thought of what she'd do to Emma. What Emma would do to thank her. More of what she'd do to Emma.
Her girlfriend wore handcuffs on her belt, for God's sake.
That was more tension. The good kind. But instead of releasing all that tension—many times, preferably—it had just built and built and built. It'd passed from Regina's mind, of course, when she'd had to save Emma, but now it was back full force. Something about being on the covers with a half-naked,
very grateful
Emma Swan.
Obviously, she couldn't
actually
have sex with Emma. Even if Emma were stupid enough to go for it—and she was, which was actually a bit of a turn-on at the moment—Regina had to be the mature one, the responsible one, and insist that they not do
anything
that would tear her stitches, aggravate her wounds, or otherwise drain her energy from healing.
Which left masturbation. Because Regina couldn't sleep. And Emma could, right next to her, pure as the driven snow. So she could go to the bathroom to do it—or the guest bedroom—hell, she could even go into the backyard and hump her apple tree.