Regina knew she should put out the candles. Not let them burn down. And she should probably eat the food instead of letting it cool. She should definitely put the wine back in an ice bucket, it wasn't supposed to be served room temperature.
But honestly, it wasn't like this was anywhere near close to being the most dramatic she'd ever been.
Emma had
promised.
A nice, romantic evening. Just the two of them. No Henry. No Charmings. No Storybrooke craziness. Just fine food and discourse, like civilized people. Eating something other than Granny's cooking and talking about something other than how to stop... the whale from Pinocchio with... Alice in Wonderland's tampon!
But no. Noooooooooooooo. Emma hadn't shown. Hadn't called. She was two hours
late
and Regina just knew, she
knew,
Emma had a great reason, a fine reason, a
fantastic
reason, she was oh so noble and self-sacrificing and just
had
to get a kitten out of a tree and save the town and make her parents proud.
God, Regina's butt was getting sore, sitting in this chair. She really hadn't thought that someone would sit for
this
long when she'd bought the dining set. They were sturdy, handsome chairsâteakâbut overly comfortable, they were not.
The flames started guttering. They'd just about burnt out their candles. Regina stared at them. If Emma was dead, Regina was going to the underworld and killing her all over again. It would be just like her to pull
that shit
on date night.
Emma barged through the door. "I know I'm lateâ"
Regina was instantly on her feet, taking in the state of Emma. Clothes torn, face bloodied, and she didn't like the way Emma's arm hung loosely at her side. "Ms. Swan!" she exclaimed, more of a rictus-statement of sudden emotional violence than any kind of conscious thought.
"Hydra," Emma explained. She sounded woozy. In fact, if blood weren't streaming from either nostril, Regina would've said she sounded black-out drunk. "Had to kill it... kept growing back heads..."
So you should've called me,
Regina thought, kicking off her heels to rush to the cabinet and get the first aid kit. For once, she was unable to voice a criticism of Emma, not when she was suddenly panicking over the thought that it could be the last thing Emma ever heard.
"Know I should've called you," Emma said as Regina came and looked her over. "But the first head was really easy to cut off... thought I'd handle it... get here in time... the food looks really nice..."
"Shut up, Emma." Her injuries weren't so bad; Regina could be angry with her. Most of it she could heal with magic, but there'd have to be stitches. And Emma definitely wouldn't be in a fit state for slow-dancing and cocktails anytime soon.
"You look really nice too," Emma said. "Is that a Vera Wang?"
"Alexander McQueen," Regina corrected. She ripped at Emma's shirt, tracing her magic along a claw mark. It formed into ugly, knotted scar tissue. Later, Regina would pretty it up. For now, she just wanted Emma to stop losing blood.
Speaking ofâ
Regina muttered a spell under her breath. Instantly, a few quarts of O Negative replaced what Emma had let pool on Regina's floor, and probably painted half of Storybrooke with.
"I swear I had a cocktail dressâin my car," Emma heaved. "Just picked it up from the dry cleaner's. I was gonna change..."
Her eyes rolled back in her head and she fainted dead away, improving the conversation considerably. Now Regina felt free to tell her what an idiot she'd been.
***
Emma wokeâsuch as it wasâabout an hour later. Sewn up, bandaged, washed clean. She laid in Regina's bed, most of her clothes cut away so that Regina could heal her, an icepack banded around her black eye.
"So," she said, noting Regina in the room with her. "The sex was good?"
"Go back to sleep," Regina told her. "You're an idiot."
"It was going to eat half the town, Gina."
Regina made a show of thinking it over. "Which half?"
"You don't mean that. Come to bed."
"Bed? Emma, your arm's broken. You're lucky it's even
attached..."
"We can still cuddle. Well..." Emma regarded the cast Regina had put her right arm in. "You can cuddle."
"What makes you think I even want to cuddle with you? You ruined a perfectly good evening. I could've been watching House Hunters all this time and made a better night of it."
Emma just smiled at her.
Giving Emma a scowl for effort, Regina began to strip. She did want Emma in her arms. She wanted to be absolutely sure she knew where Emma was, absolutely sure Emma wasn't doing anything stupid like taking on a hydra with her half-trained magic and her useless pistol or, God help them,
a sword
like dear old dad. She wanted to double-check her work and make sure she really had healed Emma, that the woman hadn't just
slipped away
like she'd so desperately worried about.