I had always been a fan of Shakira's, from the intimacy of a song like "Underneath Your Clothes" to the intensity of "Whenever, Wherever," I was hooked from the start. But, more than anything else, I was a fan of her dancing, the way her hips moved from side-to-side while her tight stomach shook in her videos or, even better, when I saw her performing live on TV (I wanted to weep with jealousy when I watched her rub against Alejandro Sanz at this year's VMAs, wishing she would look at me with equally desiring eyes, whether that want was real or performed).
So when I heard that Shakira would be playing my hometown–on my birthday no less–I decided that I deserved a birthday gift and took a day off work to be first in line to buy tickets. What I didn't know until the day of the show was that my friend Billy also thought I deserved a birthday gift and got a DJ he knew to hook him up with a backstage pass. He even said his DJ friend was trying to get through the endless layers of handlers to let Shakira know that it was my birthday, hoping that she would sing "Happy Birthday" to me after the show. Apparently, she preferred talking to people after the show rather than before, which was cool for me, because at least then I knew I could begin by saying how amazing the show was. I had no idea how to carry on a conversation with her after that, but it at least gave me a starting place.
That night, I pulled on a dark pair of blue jeans and a black t-shirt. I normally kept my six-foot body in shape, but, over the months leading up to the concert, I worked hard at toning the lean, sometimes-cyclist muscle even more, wanting to look good for Shakira...as if she couldn't have her choice of beautiful men. Shakira entered the arena wearing a brown leather vest that clung to her breasts and stopped well above her toned midriff, which separated the leather from the cotton of the white, high-cut skirt she was wearing, one that wrapped against her body as she lost herself in the music and motions onstage. Standing a few rows back from the stage–Billy's connection wasn't quite good enough to put me on the front row–my eyes were transfixed on her throughout the show, her words wrapping around my skin, as she sung hit after hit, and I lost myself in the beauty of her voice and the perfection of her body, her slinky gyrations causing a permanent erection to form. Hell, for what it's worth, I think I may have understood Spanish for the first time in my life, her body communicating a sensuality that moved well beyond any words or languages.
After the show, as I walked backstage, I could feel my erection pressing against my jeans. There was a part of me that was kind of nervous about walking in to meet Shakira with a hard-on, but I wasn't going to sit around waiting for it disappear to speak to her, especially since it would probably come back as soon as I gazed at her body from so close. Besides, she'd be covered in sweat from the show, and I'd have an erection from it. It seemed fair to me.
Anyway, an assistant, who, as far as I could tell, didn't look at my crotch, checked with Shakira, then opened the door to Shakira's dressing room so I could meet the object of my desires. When I walked in, I found Shakira standing by a chair in the center of the room, still wearing the outfit she had performed in, her bronze flesh glowing from the reflection of the light against the sheen of sweat that covered her entire body. Unconsciously, I scanned her figure from head-to-toe, knowing I had made a mistake when my gaze reached her head and found her eyes waiting patiently.
"Like what you see?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. I could feel the blood rush to my face–which probably ended the erection problem–and knew that I must have been glowing red as she let out a soft laugh. "It's alright. Why do you think I wear this on stage?"
"You are, um, beautiful," I stammered, still a question behind.
Shakira smiled again. "And let me guess...you're a big fan who has all my CDs."
"Yeah." I paused. "That was what, uh, what I wanted to say next."
"Why does everyone always say the same thing?"
"Well, because you're, uh, beautiful, and, uh, talented, and famous."