How did you say goodbye to a love affair that had never started? Since her reawakening, it was fair to say Helena had been obsessed with the woman Myka Bering. They had seemed to have such commonalities that Myka Bering was destined to be her lifelong companion. But for all they shared—literature, loss, the Warehouse—their hearts remained their own. Myka was determined to be alone, while Helena was equally determined to take all of her lover, demanding and receiving everything. As a fling they might have worked, but that thought was so bittersweet as to be untenable.
Helena needed a new obsession. It was how her mind worked, running ever to the next adventure, be it in love or danger. A challenge defeated was a challenge done with. And a challenge unattempted, such as winning the insurmountable heart of Agent Bering, would have its taste washed away by sweeter victories.
Recently, her time had been monopolized by one Claudia Donovan. The girl, who had at first struck Helena as a somewhat callow youth, had both blossomed into a capable agent during the months HG had spent with her
and
revealed herself as having a fine scientific mind. They kept similar schedules: working for long nights on the Warehouse's technology. In many ways, Claudia was continuing the work HG had started over a hundred years prior. As Helena had created the Tesla, so Claudia modified it, modernized it, miniaturized it. And now HG was helping her. Things had come full circle.
Thinking of Claudia sexually came after that. Helena was not a nymphomaniac, but it was hard to ignore how obvious Claudia was. She nursed a crush on Myka as hopeless as Helena's was. Frustrated, virginal—Helena saw the wonder Claudia could become with a little confidence. A bit of experience.
Not that Helena herself was the bastion of esteem she presented herself as. All her accomplishments could be wiped from her mind by the remainder of a single failure, and a hundred years hadn't weathered that scar from her. She vexed, she puzzled, in her darkest moments she wondered if she was fit to inflict herself upon young Claudia.
The final decision came down to boredom. Leena was at a film festival, Pete and Myka were bagging and tagging, and Artie was off with some mission so mysterious it could only be the Regents. Claudia had nothing to do, and so worked on her internet. Helena had nothing to do, so she worked on Claudia.
She dialed Claudia's number and allowed it to ring before evincing surprise on Claudia's answering. "Claudia! My word! This ingenious contraption is able to both convey my voice to you through the Aether
and
play Candy Crush!"
"You know, it's not super cute how you keep pretending to be impressed by everything. It's just a little cute. It's Jennette McCurdy cute."
"Please come to my room? I have a can I cannot open. Is there some amazing futuristic way of undoing it, my sweet?"
"I'll be right there."
***
Claudia did not have a crush on Helena.
Claudia wanted to be friends with Helena, sure, who wouldn't? She was funny and smart and a time-traveling bisexual steampunk inventor with amazing hair. If she were a gay man instead of... whatevs, Claudia would glue herself to her.
But was she curious what Helena looked like naked? Like,
super
curious?
No.
She'd seen Helena getting out of the shower once.
***
Claudia came up to find Helena reclining on her bed, laptop on her belly. "No can opener? I thought we could have ravioli."
"No, dear, that was a subterfuge." Helena pouted sympathetically. "Explain this internet to me. It confuses and befuddles my primitive mind!"
"Okay, your act is going full-on Thor."
"Thor? Why are you referring to the mythological Norse god of thunder?"
"Like I believe Pete hasn't shown you any comic book movies."
"I have watched more than one film about a man who dresses as a bat and is thus worthy of attention. Now please, my dear, show me the internet?"
Helena scooted over, moving onto her back against the headboard, patting the mattress beside her. Claudia dutifully curled up with her, drawing her feet under her and hanging onto one sneaker with both hands to make a little pretzel of herself.
"Okay, grandma, here's how you internet. You got your web browser?"
"Yes." Helena had figured that out on her own. "It's asking me if I'm feeling lucky." She gave Claudia a bonfire-bright smile. "Are we feeling lucky, Claudia?"
***
Claudia was completely cool with sitting in bed—on a bed—with HG. In HG's room. It was what cool platonic friends did all the time. She'd done it with Myka. Once. It didn't mean she was gay. She was just showing HG how to surf the information superhighway (Claudia thought that was the Victorian term for it.)
***
Claudia hemmed her hands to her knee. "That's Google. It's a search engine. Like, uh, the librarian of the internet. You ask the subject, it gives you the card catalog."
"Ah," Helena enunciated. "I recall the librarians of my time being much more attractive."
"Sometimes they do a little doodle on holidays. Anyway, what do you want to know? The internet has the answer to every question, and also five hundred wrong answers thrown in free of charge. With some kittens!"
"I wish to know what a Pokémon is," Helena said confidently.
"Okay, so you just type in the word. P-O-K-E-M-O-N." Helena did, hanging on each letter from Claudia. "Good. Now hit search."
"But I'm feeling lucky," Helena countered, pressing the other button.
A YTMND came up of Bill Cosby talking about Pokémon as only The Simpsons could have Bill Cosby talking about Pokémon.
"Yes," Helena said as it looped, "that explained everything."
"You felt lucky, doesn't mean you were lucky. Backspace and search
proper
now."
Helena backpacked, retyped in the search field, and hit enter. Almost immediately a pop-up came on showing the warm, loving relationship between a woman and... herself.
"If that's Pokémon, no wonder boys like it so much," HG exclaimed.
***
Porn.
Claudia was in HG's room, sitting on HG's bed,
with
HG, and they were watching porn.