Author's Note: Tyrion's joke is not mine. It is paraphrased from the tv show and other GOT followers.
~5 full moons later~
Tyrion lay in bed next to his wife. The sky was just beginning to lighten through the windows and he knew that while Linnea slept peacefully now, she had tossed for most of the night, as she had for the last moon or so as her belly continued to grow to the maximum.
Tyrion propped himself on one arm to admire her. She faced away from him but he saw the curve of her spine through the thin cotton nightgown she wore. Her right hand was tucked up under her cheek and her left subconsciously cradled her swollen belly. She had taken to wearing her hair in a long braid overnight and it had fallen over her shoulder and on to her large breasts. They had always been a good heaping-handful for Tyrion, but they had grown even larger, much to Tyrion's delight.
Linnea had reached the point when the glow of pregnancy lost its luster and the aches and pains made everything a chore.
Tyrion looked down and realized his hand had been at work on himself while he admired his wife's body; his cock was well on it's way to full size. He decided to head to the privy to take care of himself. He slowly moved toward the edge of the bed.
"Tyrion?" He heard Linnea's tired voice call him.
"Yes, my love?"
"Don't leave," she reached her hand back toward him, urging him back to her on the bed.
Tyrion pulled himself up on the bed and pressed his bare chest to her back.
"I thought you were asleep," Tyrion whispered behind her ear.
Linnea sighed, "I don't know if I will ever sleep again." She put a hand lovingly across her belly. "He sleeps all day then dances all night."
"Or she," he added.
"Or she," Linnea conceded. She reached back for Tyrion's hand and pulled it to her stomach. She gingerly placed his hand just left of her navel. Under his hand he felt the kicking feet of his child; it never ceased to take his breath away.
They lay there for a moment but the mood was shifting quickly. Linnea pulling him closer had pulled Tyrion's erect cock against her lower back. Linnea's hand that had been on top of Tyrion's moved back to Tyrion's hip. She ran a finger lightly up his hip then snaked her hand down to his large member and grasped it. Tyrion let out a long breath as she pulsed it firmly in her hand. She ran her thumb around the bulbous tip then brushed her fingers underneath from tip to base and back to the top before taking the hard cock in her hand again and stroking her husband to full girth.
Tyrion's hand moved from his wife's stomach to find the hem of her nightgown. He pulled the cotton up revealing her bare, round ass. He felt the smooth skin there and slipped his fingers down between the cleft of her buttocks to find her wet for him. She moaned lightly at the feeling of his fingers on her wet entrance.
Linnea positioned Tyrion's cock at her entrance and lifted her top leg slightly for better access and he pressed inside her.
Linnea moaned at the pleasure of her husband's long, hard cock entering her.
Tyrion rocked his hips against Linnea's in short, deep thrusts. His hand kneaded her hip while he fucked her. Linnea's hand went to her breasts and she found one hard nipple through the thin cotton of her nightgown.
They rocked together, slowing and intimately, quietly moaning each other's names while they made love. After a half an hour, Tyrion finally began to grunt with exertion, his climax quickly approaching.
"Tyrion," Linnea moaned as he spilled his seed inside her with one final, deep thrust. They both sighed.
Tyrion kissed Linnea's shoulder as he pulled out of her body.
"Try to sleep, my love," he whispered. He lay there behind her until her breathing slowed to a gentle, metered snore.
Moving ever so slowly, Tyrion moved off the bed and dressed. He snuck out of the room and headed for his office.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Linnea woke a few hours later having finally found a good bit of sleep. She rang for Agnetha and waited for her help dressing. It was better to wait for help than waste time attempting to dress herself in this state. No matter what angle she tried she couldn't reach her feet or entirely behind her back.
As she was waiting, she felt a tightness in her abdomen, so tight in fact that it took her breath away, but soon enough it passed. Agnetha appeared and Linnea was dressed and her hair set and she was off to the garden where her lady's maids waited.
The ladies walked among the flowers, gossiping and giggling. Linnea continued to have moments of tightness and knew that her contractions were beginning. She did her best to hide her moments of discomfort until suddenly she was hit with a wall of pain so intense she couldn't speak or move.
"Your highness!" Sofia exclaimed. "I think it best we get you back to the Tower of the Hand!"
Two ladies flanked their mistress urging her toward the gate while Linnea protested.
"Look! Her water has broken!" Shrieked Γ sa pointing to the trail of moisture now following behind Linnea as she was shuffled toward home.
By the time they reached the Tower, Linnea was having contractions every other minute. Her brow dripped with sweat. The ladies ran around the room prepping for delivery. Sofia and Golde helped Linnea out of her gown and back into a nightgown. Γ sa began to heat water over the fire in the hearth and Katarina ran to find Maester Tarly.
Linnea got up on the makeshift birthing bed and Sofia piled pillows up behind her.
"Go...find...Tyrion," she gasped out, breathing heavily. Sofia nodded and took off down the stairs to the courtyard and on to the palace.
Tyrion and Lord Commander Brianne of Tarth sat in Tyrion's office, both with their feet up on the desk and a goblet of wine in hand.
Tyrion was telling his signature joke:
"I walked into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass. The madame asks 'What can we do for you?' I reply, 'I need a woman to lay with, for mine has left me.' The madame looked confused and asked 'Whatever for? And why do you have the honeycomb and mule?' I answered, 'My woman found a genie in a bottle and he granted her three wishes. The first was for a house fit for a queen, so he gave her the honeycomb. The second wish was to have the best ass in all of Westeros so he gave her the donkey.' 'And what about the third wish?' asked the Madame to which I responded, 'Well...she asked the genie to make my cock hang down past my knee' 'That's not so bad,' she concluded to which I shouted, 'Not so bad! I used to be six foot three!'"
Brianne snorted with laughter, wine threatening to come out of her nose.
"Ser, that joke was worth waiting so long to hear!" Tyrion smiled and raised his glass to her then took another drink. Tyrion lifted the pitcher to refill his and Brianne's goblets when Sofia burst through the door.
She dropped into a deep curtsy but didn't wait for permission to speak, "My Lord, I apologize for my unannounced entrance, but Her Highness has gone into labour."
Tyrion set the pitcher down with a loud thump; some wine spilled onto the desk but he didn't even notice. He immediately took off with Sofia back toward the Tower of the Hand. He heard the screams of his wife as he rushed up the stairs as fast as his little legs would take him. He burst through the door just as another major contraction forced a scream from his wife again.
"Linnea, I'm here!" He rushed to her side, taking her hand.
Linnea looked up with a pained expression, but there was relief there as well that her husband was now at her side.
"Just in time, my Lord!" Came a cheerful voice from the end of the bed. Maester Sam Tarly stood there at Linnea's feet, ready to help deliver the baby. "Your highness, you're fully dilated and ready to start pushing."
Tyrion took Linnea's hand and she squeezed it hard. "I don't...know if I can," she heaved out. Her hair was already plastered down to her head with perspiration.