Jack set down his beer and tried to make his mind focus on what Chrissy was saying, rather than her voluptuous tits. He was failing miserably, and he was just thankful that Chrissy was too upset or just too dumb to notice.
Chrissy was down in the dumps again because she had found yet another guy who she really liked, only to find out that he was insistent on having sex. Chrissy Snow wasn't a virgin, but being the daughter of a minister had taught her high morals, and she was definitely particular on who she had relations with and how long she waited. Chrissy had dated lots of men, and they all seemed to have sex foremost in their minds. She didn't seem to realize that her firecracker body and skimpy outfits made her look like a slut with sex on the brain.
Jack was nodding occasionally, rubbing Chrissy's back, and reassuring her that Mr. Right was indeed out there, and that she would just have to be patient. Jack could feel the conspicuous absence of a bra under Chrissy's clingy top, and thought to himself, "Well no wonder this guy had sex on his mind when you show up for your date with no bra on, and a shirt that looks like it was painted on, you stupid bitch."
"It's okay, Chrissy," Jack assured her. "One day you'll find a guy who likes you for who you are, and is willing to take things slow."
"Really, Jack?" Chrissy sniffed, her big, blue eyes wide open, as if Jack was some kind of psychic who could see into the future.
"Sure, Chrissy," Jack replied, pacifying her, and hoping that he could change the subject without seeming insensitive.
"But every guy I meet always seems to want the same thing," Chrissy whined.
"Christ Almighty," Jack thought. "Doesn't she get it?"
"Look Chrissy," Jack interrupted gently. "I just have to go use the bathroom, but I'll be right back, and we can pick this up then, okay?"
"Thanks, Jack," Chrissy smiled at him, as he got up out of the circular booth to head for the restroom.
At the urinal, Jack leaned forward, placing his forehead against the cool porcelain tile. "How many times do I have to sit here at the Regal Beagle comforting her," he asked himself.
"Why doesn't she understand," he wondered. "She's got a body built for sex, dresses like a whore, and wonders why guys always get the wrong impression. If she'd wear more modest clothes, this would never happen. And why do I always have to be the one comforting her?" He asked angrily. "I've never gotten any of that blonde pussy, and yet I always seem to be paying the price for other guys' screwing her over."
The more Jack thought about it, the angrier he got, and by the time he finished washing his hands, he'd devised a plan.
Jack exited the men's room and could see the back of Chrissy's blonde head in their booth near the front of the bar. On the way back, he stopped at the bar where his buddy Larry Dallas was nursing a beer and talking to Mike the bartender. "Listen up," Jack said to the pair quietly. "When I look over here, Mike, you go and lock the door, close the curtains, and put the closed sign in the window."
Mike looked puzzled, but Jack continued. "After that, when I wave you over, come on over to the booth and we'll all have ourselves a little fun with Chrissy. Are you guys game?"
Mike and Larry both nodded, stunned at what Jack had proposed, but both of them had fantasized about Chrissy since they'd first laid eyes on her. Both Mike and Larry agreed without hesitation.
"Alright," Jack instructed, "Wait for my signal, then follow my lead."
Jack returned to the booth, sliding in beside Chrissy, who put down her drink, and smiled at him. "Thanks for listening to me Jack. You've always been a good friend, and I don't know what I'd do without you."
"Aw, Chris, that's nice of you to say," Jack replied, while surreptitiously glancing over at Mike, who nodded before strolling to the front of the Regal Beagle to draw the curtains and lock the front door.
"Do you want us to leave, Mike?" Jack asked innocently.
"No, no," Mike assured them. "Finish your drinks. It's just slow, so I'm closing a little early tonight."
"Thanks Mike," Jack said, turning back to Chrissy. "Look Chrissy," Jack said gently, "You just have to find a guy who likes you for the good person that you are." With that, Jack put his arm around Chrissy and kissed her full, red lips.
Chrissy's eyes widened in shock before she pulled away from Jack, who had waved at Mike and Larry behind Chrissy's back. "Jack, I don't think this is a good idea," Chrissy stammered, while trying to regain her composure.
Jack's demeanor changed, and his expression became hard. "Listen, Chrissy," Jack said in a low, even voice, "I've listened to you complain about men for so long, that it's made me sick. You are the biggest cocktease I've ever met, and you're going to repay me for all the free counseling I've given you over the years."
Chrissy's jaw dropped, and she smacked Jack across the face, but the blow had no effect on Jack, who grabbed her wrists and held them at her sides. "You're gonna pay for that," Jack hissed at her.
Jack yanked her arms up in the air, and gave one arm each to Mike and Larry who had silently approached the booth from behind Chrissy. Now Mike and Larry were holding Chrissy's arms above her head, while she squirmed in the booth, trying to break free.
