Chapter Eighty-Nine: *Arming and Disarming
After making love on and off all night, we finally fell into an exhausted sleep in the early hours of the morning. Someone pounding on the door woke us sometime later; the room was pitch dark, and I had absolutely no idea what time it was.
Alistair slipped out of bed and fumbled for some trousers, swearing as he banged his shin in the dark. "This better be an emergency," he growled as he opened the door, while I hid under the covers.
I heard Zevran's voice. "It's always an emergency when Grey Wardens haven't eaten all day, no?"
"We ate earlier. Sometime. What time is it, anyway?"
"Mid-afternoon, sleepyheads. Time to get up! There's an armourer here to measure Sierra, and Duncan wants her to go talk to some weaponsmith about a weapon idea she had?"
I swore.
It did need to be done, but did it have to be done today?
"So why are you standing there instead of Duncan? You offered, I bet. Hoping to catch a peek at something, you pervert?"
"I'd say I already caught a peek at something, Bellissima, but it isn't you."
I heard Alistair mutter something uncomplimentary, and I laughed. "Go away and let me change, Zevran!"
He laughed. "I very much doubt you have anything on that needs changing, but I suppose you might want to get dressed."
Alistair slammed the door behind him, and then fumbled for the arcane lamp we'd left beside the door. Bluish light blossomed, and I crawled out of bed to see Alistair standing near the door with only low-riding trousers. I gave him an appreciative once-over: mussed up hair, hickeys, fingernail marks...
oh yes, Zevran got an eyeful, alright
.
"Do we have to get out of bed?" I whined.
He was looking at me naked, and his eyes darkened. "If you don't want me keeping you in until tomorrow, you better put something on quick," he teased.
"Eep!" I scrambled for a pair of panties and a bra, getting a whiff of myself as I struggled into them. "Oh, ugh. I need a bath. What I wouldn't give for a shower! I smell like stale sex and unwashed human. Though I suppose that's better than wet dog."
Alistair came over and pulled me into a hug, sniffing me as he did. "Smells good to me."
"That's because I smell like sex with you! That poor armourer..."
"He'll live. He's probably worked with Oghren before, after all."
"Point. Even stale sex smells better than that!"
Finally ready, I headed out into the main room with Alistair on my heels. I wore the clothes I usually wore under my armour, trousers and a shirt; Alistair was dressed similarly, though his were looser fitting, since he didn't need new armour. There was a dwarf waiting impatiently for us, ignoring the chaos as people came in and out around him. He was neatly dressed, with carefully coifed hair, a neatly groomed beard, and a waxed moustache that rivalled that of any villain from a 1920's silent film on Earth.
He looked...prissy. If there was such a thing as Orlesian dwarves, he would be one.
Mistress Leta introduced us; his name was Paider, and he was not pleased to meet me. He followed me to the library, since I wasn't about to take him into my room, which smelled of sex and looked like a hurricane had landed there. Solona was sitting with a book in her lap, and she watched in amusement as the man measured me, almost without speaking at all. He pushed or pinched when he needed me to move something, had me bend over and twist, and then asked a few terse questions about my fighting style.
"And what is this you are wearing?"
I looked down. "This? I put on what I wear under my armour. I thought that would be helpful."
"This? You wear this under armour? Do you not have proper arming clothes?"
"Um..."
"Ach! I cannot be expected to work like this." He paced and muttered to himself; for a prissy sort, he swore like a sailor.
Must be a dwarven thing.
"I shall make new arming clothes as well. And I suppose the rest of your...friends, need arming clothes as well?"
"I suppose? They all wear the same as me, more or less. Half the time, Alistair wears pyjamas."
Solona started laughing outright at the dwarf's outrage.
"I must do measurements. Go! Go! Send the first one up, while I measure this one."
He stomped over to Solona, demanding she get up.
"What? But I don't wear armour! I don't need arming clothes under my robes." Solona looked decidedly less amused now that the dwarf's attention was on her. "Hey, stop pinching!"
I laughed all the way to the dining room, where I organised those present into a lineup to get measured. I did a mental head count: Zevran and I both needed new leathers after the Deep Roads, and Leliana could use some as well. Duncan needed an updated set of mail, and Faren's plate was mostly scavenged crap, though I wondered how the prissy little armourer would deal with measuring a Casteless. The others mostly needed new arming clothes,
apparently
, but I thought that Sten and perhaps Bel and Oghren might benefit from new gear too. In fact, Alistair and Aedan, plus the mages, were possibly the only ones who didn't need new armour. I briefly felt sorry for the armourer, until one of the bruises where he'd pinched me started to ache.
When I got everyone organised, I realised one was missing - my brother. "Zev? Where's Aedan?"
"The Warden, shall we say, overindulged last night. He is...resting, I believe."