Chapter Three: Changing History
I found the path the army had followed onto the field around Ostagar. Loghain's army had turned off, to head up to the cliff; that I knew. Instead, I went down. As I walked, I started to hear a faint noise. At first I couldn't identify it, but after a bit, as it grew louder, I realised what it was. Screaming. The sound of metal clashing on metal. Swords hitting shields. Oh God, the battle had started.
What on earth am I doing down here? I have no place in a battle. I barely know how to hold the sword I am carrying. What was I thinking?
Wait.
What on earth?
I'm not on Earth anymore. I guess, on Thedas, I just don't have much of a self-preservation instinct.
I kept moving, picking up my pace.
The sound of battle grew to a deafening roar as I approached the rear of the army. I swore as I realised that the army had already become disorganised, and instead of a united front, darkspawn squared off against individuals and small groups, fighting back-to-back, desperate. I'd read a forum that claimed that the reason Loghain left the King to die was that he realised that he couldn't be saved - that due to poor tactics, Cailan had left him no choice. I was indignant, when I read that, completely unwilling to admit that Loghain might be anything other than the evil bastard I thought he was. For the first time, I wondered if it might be true. I wasn't exactly a military strategist, but I was quite sure that the plan was to have the darkspawn all together, facing a united line of Fereldens, not this intermingled, chaotic swirl of violence.
Well, crap. The best laid plans, and all that, right?
I checked that the beacon on the tower of Ishal wasn't yet lit -
thank God, that means Duncan isn't dead yet, at least in theory
. I secured my pack, hoisted that heavy damn sword, and started trying to weave through the crowd. It was getting dark, and I couldn't decide if that was an advantage or a curse. I took the opportunity to stab darkspawn in the back as I went, but didn't slow to engage with any of them. Somehow, all the darkspawn I came across were miraculously...busy.
I'll have to thank my guardian angel later
.
I just kept going, squeezing myself between groups of men and darkspawn. I assumed the darkspawn didn't think of me as a threat, and in the heat of battle, there were more important things to do than spend precious time slaughtering innocents.
Or idiots. Whichever label worked
. Apparently the men didn't see me as a threat either, frequently exclaiming in surprise when I scored a hit on a darkspawn about to cut off their head, or whatever.
I probably am the only woman in this battle, I guess that shouldn't be a shock.
As I pushed forward, the ratio of men to darkspawn began to drop. Things were getting more dangerous for a lone woman weaving through the battle.
Please don't die, please don't die
...I had arrived, I could tell. I was near or at the front lines, and the people fighting desperately on either side of me were Grey Wardens, I was sure of it. These were by far the deadliest fighters I had seen so far, blocking and parrying, cutting down darkspawn with breathtaking grace. I was briefly distracted by the deadly beauty of the dance, but still the darkspawn seemed to ignore me. And then, I heard the roar.
Oh God, an ogre, what was I thinking? There are fucking ogres up here
.
Trying to look small and unthreatening, I squeezed further onward. I hadn't seen the King yet, in his golden armour, but if there were ogres ahead, I knew that's where he and Duncan would be. I caught sight of a flash of gold, peeking out from around a small knot of whirling death, and arrived just in time to see Cailan lifted, squeezed, by the largest, most gruesome monster I could imagine.
The game sort of glossed over this a bit!
Cailan was still alive, weakly struggling, and I could feel hostile magic in the swarm of darkspawn behind that thing. The air fairly crackled with it, just like at the farm.
Lovely. Dozens of Emissaries.
I felt, more than saw, the beacon atop the tower of Ishal light, and knew I was out of time.
I was desperate, though not nearly stupid enough to rush an ogre, when I caught sight of someone who could be no one else than Duncan, squaring off with what must have been a hurlock alpha. I screamed, fear and horror welling up in me...
I'm too late, why am I always too late?
...and felt something...weird. I looked between Duncan and Cailan and saw both men enveloped in an ethereal white light, just as the ogre squeezed Cailan one last time and threw him to the ground. All around me, Grey Wardens were dying. I was covered in blood, none of it mine, and screaming like I would never stop, and I felt the ground shake, wondering what had exploded nearby. But I realised that while it had messed with everyone's balance, only the darkspawn seemed to be truly troubled by it. It dawned on me: there must be a mage somewhere nearby. A friendly one. A wave of energy passed through the lines of darkspawn near me, their bodies slamming to the ground, blood bursting into the air in a red mist. And then I was falling, and I couldn't catch myself, and
oh God, I'm going to die
. The last thing I saw, before I blacked out, was Duncan crawling over to Cailan's still form, collapsing at his side. But I thought, just before the darkness took me, that I could see his chest rise and fall.
Still breathing
.
********
I woke, actually expecting to be in my own bed at home. It seemed such a natural transition - black out in one world, wake in another. I kept my eyes closed, thinking to luxuriate in a soft bed for a few more minutes, wondering if I'd have bruises or cuts as fallout from the insane day I had spent in Ferelden. I certainly had a hell of a headache. But I must have been sleeping in a weird position, or something, because my back was sore, and something hard was poking my hip, and
what sort of food did I leave rotting in the kitchen to smell like that?