The idea for the tour was born, as are so many of the best ideas, at three o'clock in the morning. Large amounts of vodka were involved, of course, as well as assorted substances of varying degrees of legality.
We'd just finished playing one of the most brilliant sets of our career. Three-fifths of Radiohead - Thom and the Greenwood Sisters; Phil and Ed were off home being family men, bless them - had come to the show and were helping us celebrate afterward. By three, we were all deliciously toasted and starting to get silly.
"Here's to Placebo!" Colin called, slurring only a little, and raised his glass. "Fucking ace set, mates."
"Absolutely." Thom flashed that wonderfully childlike smile of his from his perch on Jonny's lap. "Brian, love, you had those people eating out of your hand."
"Did, didn't I?" I grinned and wiggled my arse at him. "God, I'm good."
"So modest, darling," Stef said, smiling. He smacked my arse. Hard.
Bastard. He knows how that turns me on.
I straddled his lap, hiking my leather mini-skirt up around my hips. "Steffy-love, you know better than to promise me things you can't deliver."
"And who says I can't?"
His words echoed in my mind, along with the mental image of what he wanted to do to me later. I bit my lip so hard one of my fangs went straight through it. I didn't care; it felt amazing when Stef licked at the wound.
Honestly, I never get tired of being a vampire.
"Oy! None of that, now!" Steve gave us a rather drunken glare.
I leaned close to Stef's ear. "Later, darling."
"Fucking hell, I don't know what's worse," Steve grumbled. "Being forced to watch you two snogging, or watching you go all Dracula. God."
"Actually," Jonny said, speaking up for the first time all evening, "I think the audience rather enjoyed both tonight."
Truer words were never spoken. Ever since Stefan and I were turned, we'd gone right back to kissing and groping onstage, much to the delight of all those girls who write slash stories about us. That night, Stef had gotten a bit carried away and bitten me right in the middle of 'Taste In Men.' I nearly came right there in front of about five thousand people.
They loved it. So did I.
Colin leaned forward in his seat, those owlish eyes of his sparkling. "Brother dear," he said to Jonny, "you're brilliant, d'you know that?"
Jonny blinked big, dark eyes from behind his fringe. "So I'm told. Why the sudden unprovoked compliment, Cozzie?"
Colin sighed. "Oblivious to your own genius, as usual. Thom, however do you put up with him?"
Thom pretended to consider. "Well, he's a decent guitarist, he generally lets me have my way, and he's a bloody brilliant kisser. And he smells nice." He cuddled closer to Jonny, rubbing his cheek against Jonny's dark hair.
"Christ, I'm surrounded by fucking fairies," Steve declared.
"You love us, Beanie." I blew him a kiss. He flipped me off. Sweet boy.
Coz was on a roll, and would not be deterred. "Listen, gentlemen, I have an Idea." Yes, he capitalized it. Trust me. "The audience, as my dear baby brother pointed out, was most enthralled by tonight's onstage antics, yes?"
"Apparently," Stef said. "Thought they'd all have a collective stroke when I bit Bri."
"Exactly." Colin's eyes were starting to get that shine they get when he's all worked up about something. "People love vampires."
"They don't know that Stef and Brian are real vampires, Colin," Jonny pointed out.
"Doesn't matter. They love the idea of vampires. Put that together with two other things that lots of people love - rock stars and pretty boys kissing - and you've got a fucking gold mine."
"What're you saying, mate?" Steve asked, taking a swig of vodka straight from the bottle.
