The Straight and Narrow

The Riddler had been a criminal for almost half his life now.

Perhaps he wasn't always in neon green suits, bowler hats, and overly theatrical riddles & games, but Edward Nygma had been on the wrong side of the law for decades now. And honestly...he was rather tired of it.

He didn't know what changed. It had all used to be so fun. The Spandex, the plots, the intellectual vigor of it all. But that was when Nygma was a younger man. Now at 40, perhaps he was slowing down - not mentally of course. Perhaps it was the last time Batman snapped his tibia, perhaps it was the last time Batman left him hanging off a Gargoyle 15 stories up for hours, or when he threw him through a bus window...or set him on fire. Point was, the costs of his villiany were beginning to outweigh the benefits.

So what did a man with the intellect and manic narcissistic tendencies as The Riddler have to offer the world besides convoluted traps and riddles?

______________________________________________________________________

"World's Greatest Detective?"

The Riddler sighed. He recognized that catty tone anywhere. He was in the office of his townhouse he owned on the edge of Gotham - a place he could get away and plan that very few knew about. He was at his desk with his back turned, looking through the large window that looked over the Gotham River. He didn't turn around immediately, instead glancing up, looking at his skylight, now ajar.

"You know Selina, that security system isn't cheap. It costs money to repair." The Riddler chided, swiveling in his chair to see Catwoman perched on his desk. She gave him a smirk, moving from the cat-like squat she was in to a seated position, legs hanging off the edge of the desk.

"Bill me." She replied with a shrug. "Plus, your door was locked."

"Locked doors are usually a clear sign to people who aren't kleptomaniacs."

"Sounds boring. "But I'm not here to talk about the etiquette of breaking and entering." Catwoman drawled, crossing one long leg over the other "I'm here to talk about rumors of you going to the light."

"Why, you make it sound so ominous." Riddler said with a broad smile.

"So it's true, then?" She pushed

"I don't see how it's any of your business, really." Riddler dismissed. That wasn't strictly true. He had specifically ensured that the word spread around through henchmen and grunts, up the chain to the cops, bosses and supervillains in the city - he wanted to leave no ambiguity. "But yes, I'm making a career change."

"To the 'World's Greatest Detective'" Catwoman drawled sarcastically. "I think Batman already laid claim to that moniker."

"An unearned title, I assure you." Riddle replied briskly. "But I don't imagine I'll have much competition from him - I intend to serve the private sector. Turns out the elite, police and those with power in this city, have many uses for a detective who's less inclined to snap someone's femurs"

Catwoman pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes, she leaned forward, getting in Nygma's face.

"Alright Eddie, cut the crap." She said sternly. "What's your play here?"

The Riddler just arched a ginger eyebrow at the accusing kitty. He leaned back in his chair and sighed. He had expected skepticism, "No play, plan, or scheme Selina. Not that I owe you an explanation, but-"

The Riddler's words were interrupted by a large thump outside his office door. Catwoman immediately jumped to the ready, perching on the desk, claws out. Riddler opened his top drawer, where he kept a.45 if needed.

"Knock Knock!" came a call from the other side of the door. The Riddler's eyebrows shot up. Oh no, he didn't need this right now. He recognized that Brooklyn accent anywhere-

Suddenly the Riddler's office door burst open, or rather it was kicked completely off its hinges. The Riddler groaned, and put his head on his desk. That was an expensive door. As if invited in, in walked one Harley Quinn in all her glory; chalk white skin, multi colored pigtails, and carrying a rather large mallet over one shoulder. She gave her signature wide grin to Riddler and Catwoman.

"Ooooh, is this a business meetin' or somethin'? I hope you don't mind me sittin' in. Your door was open."

"No, It wasn't." Riddler groaned into his hands. "Is there something you want, Harley?"

Harley cocked a hand on her hip, and sauntered over to the desk, throwing a heeled boot onto it. Selina was on friendly-ish terms with Harley these days, but she still knew to be on her guard. Harley extended her arm, pointing her mallet directly at Nygma's face.

"I'm here because of this malarkey I'm hearin' about you going straight." Harley said loudly. The Riddler pushed Harley's mallet to the side, and gave her a hard look. He really needed to up his security.

"If Harley thinks it's crazy, you know it is." Selina laughed, hopping off the desk

"As flattering as it is that you two all of a sudden have taken an interest in my life, It's neither of your business. Is Ivy going to pop in as well and voice her opinion - might as well complete the Sirens"

"None of our business?" Harley repeated dramatically before frowning. "Oh contrary!"

"Au contraire." Riddler corrected.

"That too! But you getting out the game is very much our business, Eddie. I mean, what are we gonna do without ya - you're messing with our bottom line!"

Ah, there it was. The Riddler had expected as much; that concerns about his reformation weren't from genuine curiosity or interest. Rather, the void that his absence would leave. As it turned out, overly elaborate schemes and gimmick crimes based around riddles was an expensive hobby. It wasn't as if they made him any money in most cases, so Nygma had him a little side business. "Outsourcing his intellect" he called it - much like what he was planning to do on the right side of the law, but the criminal element of Gotham had more specific uses for it. An IQ of 180 and a manic attention to detail made him the perfect tactician: bank jobs, long form cons, bypassing security systems both physical and virtual. He was a useful asset for criminals who wanted to pull off the perfect crime. A criminal consultant, a salacious supervisor, or as he simply put it, really good at thinking.

He glanced at Catwoman, who kept a passive face, but he could easily tell she was in agreeance with Harley. Though she'd never admit it, Selina had made use of Nygma's services from time to time, and she had to admit that the man did stellar work. Some of her biggest scores as of late had been with his assistance. As for Harley - well she used to use his services to get money for surprise gifts for the Joker - dirty bombs, oversized jack in the boxes, things of that nature. Now that they were no longer an...item, Harley's expenses dropped considerably. She would have The Riddler set her up scores more for the fun of it than anything.

With Riddler's impending retirement from crime, well that put a wrench into what the two women had become accustomed to. And they weren't exactly the type who liked having their toys taken away.

"I'm sorry ladies, really," The Riddler said, not sounding very sorry at all. "But I've made up my mind. I'm not getting any younger, and I don't intend to be dropped off 3 story buildings into my 50s."

"Oh that's barely anything." Harley dismissed flippantly. "I seen Bats drop one of Mistah J's old goons off a SIX story building, and he was fine! Sure he has a lazy eye and can't pronounce his P's, but I really see that as an improvement."

Riddler gave Harley a rather nonplussed look, but didn't comment. Selina was mildly amused by Harley's attempted motivation, but she knew better really. She had been in the game long enough, been a WOMAN long enough to know what proper motivation looked like.

She let a smile spread across her face - it was slight really, mostly showing in her eyes and cheeks, the corners of her plump red lips only just barely ticking upwards. It was enough for Nygma to notice, looking at her lips, before meeting her eyes suspiciously. That was enough to get things started.

"Oh come on Eddie, you're tough. You've been in the game so long." Selina purred in her cat-like fashion. She moved around his desk, making sure to swing her hips with each step, her plump ass jiggling magically under her catsuit. The Riddler watched her as she circumnavigated his desk, walking right up beside him, before casually plopping herself into his lap, drawing her legs up to curl up, as if she was a cat. "Can't you just stay a little longer - I have some plans that only you can help me with."

The Riddler kept a passive face at Selina's cooing, but his eyebrows did tick up a bit. Harley looked on, visibly confused. Catwoman looked at her in her periphery, flashing her eyes expectantly. Harley looked at her in more confusion, and Catwoman basically had to turn her head completely to look at the other woman, raising her eyebrows in a 'Get with the program' fashion.

It took a second for Harley's brain to process the gesture, but once she did, she let out a loud "Oohhh." in realization, and gave Catwoman a wink - subtly wasn't her strong suit. But at the moment, they didn't need subtle. Harley played her part - placing her mallet down and removing her leg from the top of Riddler's desk; she bent over 90 degrees so that her elbows rested on the wood instead, hands folded innocently under her chin, giving Nygma a perfect view of her cleavage in her top.

"You can't just leave us Eddie." Harley said, batting her fake eyelashes. She arched her back to push her chest forward more, her bust already straining in her corset. "What would we do without cha'?

The Riddler almost felt insulted. They thought a man of his heightened intellect could be so easily seduced - laughable. He wasn't some goon whose tail wagged every time they saw a bitch. Honestly, who the hell were they to try and change his mind - they weren't friends. Hell, they've all double-crossed and tried to kill each other in the past. He had half a mind to, in so many words, tell them to fuck off.

But on the other hand - despite his intellect and powers of observation, he was still a hot-blooded male. He was observant, so he could clearly observe Harley and Selina in their glorious forms.

Catwoman of course was walking sex in her skintight catsuit. This one was leather; Riddler knew she had ones of latex, spandex, and other synthetic materials. Riddler sometimes wondered how she ever got the thing on, over her flaring hips, thick thighs, and large, bubbly, heart shaped ass. And her tits - with her large Double D breasts, he had to imagine the zipper of the skintight suit was akin to Atlas holding up the world. Beyond that, Selina was frankly classically beautiful. Perfectly symmetrical face, fully ever pouty lips, makeup always pristinely done, high cheekbones, the constant hint of a tan and a general air of class and poise, if Riddler hadn't been very much informed on her upbringing, he'd have thought her to be one of Gotham's high-born elites.

Harley was on the opposite end of that spectrum. Since her falling out with The Joker, she had ditched her classic red and black jester outfit. Nowadays, she wore a red and black corset - hardly appropriate as a shirt, but who would ever think Harley Quinn cared about what was appropriate. Though her tits weren't as big as Selina's they still had ample perkiness to them, made even more apparent with the tightness of the corset giving her stellar lift job - the hints of her areolas could be seen bulging from the top, for those who were paying attention. She wore a pair of matching red and black spandex shorts, but in reality they more resembled underwear. They were so short that most of Harley's fat, plump ass was on display, constantly jiggling at the slightest of movement. She had on a torn pair of stockings, jackboots, fingerless gloves, and various straps and belts for her devices of malic to round out the outfit. Her makeup was more haphazardly done than her days running with Joker; lipstick, mascara, and overdone red and blue eyeliner applied liberally to her sheet white face. She kept her blonde hair in long pigtails, with red and blue tips at the end. Her new look made her look more like someone who should have been selling pussy by the Gotham pier vs a dangerous supervillain, but Riddler supposed Harley enjoyed that dissonance.

And there they were, presenting themselves for The Riddler - he was hard under his green slacks just looking at them. So Riddler decided to let this play out. They wanted to try and convince him to abandon his plans, he'd let them - he was sure as hell going to make them work for it.

Eyeing them back and forth, he smiled and simply pointed down to the ground in front of his seat and said "Knees."

Selina pursed her lips a bit and narrowed her eyes at him momentarily. She had HOPED he'd just nut in his pants at the implications - the average man typically did, but it seemed he was set on taking this to its logical conclusions. She internally sighed, and slid off his lap. The Riddler scooted his chair back, allowing Catwoman to kneel down between his legs and his desk. Hardly a new position for her. Catwoman had been pushed into various scenarios where she had to suck some dick: security guards, informants, a politician or rich asshole or two - frankly it came with the territory of being a female villain in Gotham. Harley for her part rather happily skipped around the Riddler's desk, and knelt next to Catwoman. Harley didn't mind sucking dick, she liked it even. She had lost track of how many goons and henchman she had sucked off over the years. Hell she had given the taxi driver who dropped her off a quick suck and tug - she didn't tend to carry cash.

Riddler looked down at the beautiful sight of two of Gotham's Sirens kneeling at his feet. This could have been a renaissance painting in itself.

"Alrighty." Riddler smiled, spreading his legs, and showing the bulge in his pants. "Floor is yours. Convince me."

Catwoman wanted to roll her eyes, but she was in seduction mode, so she batted her eyelashes at him demurely. Seeing no point in dragging this out, she reached for the button of his pants.

"Aht!" Riddler interrupted loudly, earning an arched eyebrow from Selina. "Lose the finger knives."

That time she couldn't resist a roll of the eyes as she pulled off her gloves, exposing her hands, before resuming her task. She swiftly undid his button, and drew down the zipper of his fly. She leaned forward on her knees, reaching up to grip the waistband of Riddler's pants and boxers. Harley leaned in closer, her cheek practically touching Selina's - she just wanted a better look.

Riddler lifted his hips and allowed Catwoman to pull his pants down in one hard yank.

WHAP

Now, Selina had quick reflexes - cat like if you will. But she could hardly react to a cock slapping her in the forehead. She was stunned momentarily, jerking her head back. Her eyes refocused after a moment and when they did, they went wide at sight before her.

Proudly standing in a dominant fashion, The Riddler's cock was as rigid as a flag pole, and from where Catwoman and Harley were sitting, might as well have been as big as one. Nygma was a rather lanky man, skinny and tall; hardly an imposing figure. His cock however was another story. Selina had to guess it stood at 11 inches long, and was as thick as her wrist - it was practically the size of her forearm. The tip was purplish and menacing, and a long, thick vein ran up the side and at the base were a pair of over large balls, no doubt full of cum. Selina was in a state of surprised cock shock, but Harley was smiling wildly.

"Jeez Eddie, I ain't know you were a smuggler too." She commented, tilting her head to the side as she stared

"You must be part Grundy or something." Catwoman added, snapping out of her haze, but still staring at his cock with wide eyes.

"Save your quips ladies." Riddler told them "You're getting exactly what you wanted - an opportunity to change my mind. Don't let it go to waste."

With that, he grabbed the base of his cock, wielding it like a weapon and began to BATTER the faces of the two women kneeling between his legs. The rigid tube of flesh bounced all over Harley and Selina's pretty features as he brought it down on their faces over and over - cheeks, foreheads, rubbing under their noses, bouncing off and smearing pre-cum against their lips. The two women flinched at the phallic assault, but neither backed down; in for a penny, in for the pound. Riddler kept it up for a few minutes - it was power play more than anything. He certainly felt plenty powerful dragging his nutsack all over Harley's forehead, and flossing his cocktip across Catwoman's pouty lips, but it was time for them to be more active participants in this. He stopped beating their faces, looked down at them.

"Well?" He asked with an arched eyebrow and a toothy smile. "Get to work."

Selina pouted her lips and gave Riddler a pointed look, before glancing over to Harley. The slutty jester just gave her a 'what can ya do?' shrug. Selina sighed through her nose and mentally shrugged herself. Well it was better than being cock pummeled.

The two villainesses leaned forward, and got to work as instructed. They started simply enough, licking long stripes up and down the length of his cock, basic dick-sucking etiquette. Harley worked one side, while Harley worked the other, glistening his cock with spit. They had worked together before on various jobs in the city, so Riddler's dick wasn't really much different than those experiences. After several passes with their tongues, they began to add their own flair to their dick wetting: Selina pursed her lips, sliding the plump red DSLs back and forth Riddler's length - Harley spat on his cock, before giving patches of skin, long hard sucks and kisses. The two women then moved to work his pole at opposite ends. Harley sucked Riddler's large cock tip between her lips, swirling her tongue around his glans and applying light suction. Selina drew the proverbial short straw and was left to service Riddler's swollen balls, lavishing them with her tongue, nuzzling her face into them, and trying to suck both into her mouth at once.

Nygma was of course in heaven. The most expensive Gotham whores - and he definitely had indulged in them - couldn't compare. But he wasn't going to be satisfied letting them act on their own accord.

"Stop." He demanded simply. Selina and Harley gave him confused, but detached their lips from his cock. He stood from his chair and pushed it aside before letting his pants fall down completely and stepping out of them, leaving him completely exposed from the waist down. "I've got a riddle for you two."

"Really, now?" Catwoman asked with a bit of chagrin. Most men could barely remember their own names when she used her mouth on them, and here he was thinking of riddles "You really have a one track mind."

"Oh believe me, it's relevant." Riddler smiled. "Now, let's begin - you'll both get a chance to answer. So riddle me this- What word in the English language does the following: the first two letters signify a male, the first three letters signify a female, the first four letters signify a great, the first five letter signify something hard to let go, while the entire word signifies a great woman. What is the word?"

Harley pondered for a moment with her finger on her chin, before perking up excitedly.

"What is a Hydrofoil?"

The Riddler gave Harley an exasperated look. "That your final answer?"

Harley just nodded her head. Rolling his eyes, he looked at Catwoman. "Chance to steal."

She decided to humor him on this, and thought for a moment. Assuming that a hospital wasn't going to blow up if she got it wrong, she threw out her best guess.

"The word is Heroine"