The Status Quo Combustion

This is the third story I've written about the Big Bang Theory. The first two are 'The Killer Robot alternative' and 'Penny and Leonard get together'. Whilst there are references to them here, it's unnecessary to read them first in order to understand this story. Although it's always nice to have more views, comments and votes.

Because I loved the show, I tried to keep my characters within arm's length of what the real characters would do. To follow the original storyline as far as possible. I've read other fanfiction about the show which are good, but the ongoing storyline deviates outside of the main plot. With my versions, the overall storyline remains, with sexy interludes.

Shortly after publishing the last one, an anonymous commenter suggested a wild storyline between Penny and Stuart. As it broke my self-imposed rules, I ignored it for several years.

However, the idea of Penny comforting Stuart after the fire at his comic book store stuck with me. The problem for me was it occurred at the end of season 7, just after Penny and Leonard's engagement. So, the idea of Penny and Stuart cheating at that point in their relationship was too alien for the show's arc.

But it continued to niggle at me and the more I thought about it, in the right circumstances; I realised it could be treated as an isolated incident without changing the overall storyline.

A special thanks to RF-Fast for helping to proofread and ensuring the story is in good shape.

Big bang theory - 'The Status Quo Combustion Alternative' Part 01

Chapter 1

Scene: Penny driving her car, she brakes suddenly and slams the heel of her hand down on the steering wheel

"Stupid traffic!" she exclaimed.

The camera switched to an outside shot and pulled back to show her car in a long queue of traffic caused by roadworks.

Cutting back inside the car revealed Penny with her cell phone to her ear.

Scene: Sheldon and Leonard's apartment. Leonard is slipping on a jacket near the door as his cell phone rings.

"Hello?"

The scene splits to show Penny on one side of the screen and Leonard on the other.

"Hey Leonard."

"Hey Penny. What's up?"

"I'm stuck in traffic."

"Oh, that sucks!"

"No, what sucks is me not seeing my boyfriend all week."

"I know, and I'm sorry. But I explained how I could only get to run these experiments at the university overnight."

"I know you explained about your stupid clever experiment in way too much detail. Something about too much vibration during the day. I miss you."

"And I miss you..."

"No, I mean

I miss you

." she emphasised the last words.

"What?" Leonard asked, confused momentarily. Then he understood. Penny was in the mood. "Oh, right."

"Yeah, exactly. You know how I get if we go more than three or four days."

"I know, but I managed years without..." Penny interrupted him.

"Leonard, this isn't a competition, and certainly not one you want to win."

"Sorry."

"I even snuck out of work early to get to see you. Are you still at the apartment?"

"Yeah, but I'm literally just picking up my keys." His actions followed his words.

"Couldn't you hang on for like another 15 minutes? I can probably get there in time for a quickie?"

"Sorry, I want to. I really, really want to, but this experiment is for the military, and they keep track of my comings and goings."

Penny slumped back in her car seat, defeated.

"And how much longer will they take?"

"Another week, sorry!" he added automatically.

"So now what am I going to do? It's Friday night and my boyfriend, no, correct that, fiancé. And has abandoned me?" She knew she was being unfair, but she was frustrated.

When Leonard had first told her about his experiment, his explanation, although delivered with enthusiasm, had been almost incomprehensibly boring. So, she'd missed the fact he told her he would be working throughout the night, and they would not see each other.

"How about I do something to make it up to you? How about a weekend away?" He asked, and Penny looked a little mollified. But didn't want to be bought off so easily.

"With Bernadette and Howard looking after Mrs Wolowitz, Amy and Sheldon on a date night, and Raj seeing Emily, what am I supposed to do?" She asked, realising she sounded a little whiny.

"Why not call one of your old friends? The girls you used to go dancing with?" Leonard asked.

"We all used to dress up kinda slutty, flirt with all the guys, and get hit on a lot? Is that really a good idea?" With how she was feeling at the moment, not a good idea at all. She wasn't entirely sure she could turn down all the advances. The memories of the times she'd made out in one club or another with some hunky guy, floated through her mind.

"How about Stuart?" Leonard suggested, and the name caused her mind to skip the rails. The image of being in Stuart's arms instead of some hunk popped into her head, and she had to shake her head to lose it. Leonard continued.

"Since his comic book shop burned down, he's been really depressed..."

"He's always depressed." Penny countered.

"I know, but this time it's worse. I worry about him; sometimes I think he just needs someone to take care of him. I promised I'd help clean up his shop, but that was before I knew about the lab time. You could go see him, be supportive and help clean up?"

"Really Leonard? You've seen my apartment. I barely clean up after myself, let alone someone else's place."

"Come on, Stuart's a good guy. You'd be doing a good deed, and you even dated him once."

"So, that's your brilliant idea? When you're not available, you send me off to an ex-boyfriend?"

"I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that if I'd not gotten jealous when I saw you two going out, I might not have worked up the courage to ask you out."

"It certainly took you long enough."

"I know, and I know we could talk long and hard about all my shortcomings, but I really have to get to work. I love you."

"And I love you too," Penny replied, hanging up.

Scene: The landing outside Sheldon and Leonard's apartment. Penny appeared on the stairs and let herself into the boy's apartment.

She dropped her purse on the table, threw herself down on the couch, and stared up at the ceiling.

"This sucks! It seems like the second I'm engaged, the sex goes away. I thought that only happened after marriage?" She asked herself.

It was something that had been bothering her about agreeing to Leonard's stream of proposals. Everyone she knew who got married told her their sex lives suffered after the big day. Moreover, she was quite a sexual being, more so than Leonard anyway, more so than most of her boyfriends.

Actually, that was the issue and it was kind of like your tongue poking at a sore tooth. She loved Leonard, she really did, and she knew he adored her. However, since she'd been hanging out with a gang of geniuses, or was it genii? Whatever. She knew she wasn't one. She'd learnt introspection, including the meaning of that word.

Watching Sheldon do nothing but think for a living had caused her to question what she thought about while she worked at the Cheesecake factory. And she had to admit she didn't. Maybe worry about her bills, hopes for her next audition, not long-term things.

She'd always been impulsive, craving instant gratification and heedless of the consequences. As a child that had shown up as tantrums over wanting candy in a store, when she could have all the homemade pie she wanted later. That would always cost her the pie, but it didn't stop her from doing it again.

As she grew older when she was slighted by a girlfriend, or at least thought she was, she might make out with her friend's boyfriend or worse. That would cost her their friendship, but she'd just move on. Perhaps that was one reason she craved being an actor, to assume a role and abandon it once she was finished with it.

The same with relationships. They were disposable, if or when she fucked up. She knew she could walk away. Each time she moved on, it was a clean slate, only she rarely bothered to learn from experience.

The same with boyfriends. She'd choose them on first impressions. That of their looks, and being tall and handsome, didn't mean they were nice people or even good lovers. Often the ability to have a new girl in their arms, or on their cocks at the snap of their fingers meant they never learned.

Unlike people like Leonard, who didn't have the looks and had to learn to be nice, thoughtful of others and their lovers. OK, the first time with Leonard had been disappointing, but he quickly became the most giving lover she'd ever had, sacrificing his pleasure for hers. With practice came confidence, and with that, they became compatible lovers. He'd learned to read her needs as if reading them from a textbook.

There were a few shortcomings, apart from the physical. Sometimes she liked to take charge and at others, she preferred her lover to do so. Probably indoctrination from previous boyfriends, but Leonard still struggled to 'take charge' as often as she'd like. The other issue and the one most pressing now was he didn't notice when she needed it.

Moreover, her problem was that while she knew of these shortcomings, she could guard against them. But she knew it was almost impossible she'd catch herself every time. Getting married was something that she wanted, but something that scared her. If she fucked up, it was permanent.

She needed some safety mechanism, something to reduce the pressure, a safety valve or something. Perhaps she should wear herself out with exercise. Change into her running clothes and put a few miles under her belt. But that seemed like hard work.

Suddenly she remembered something; there were a couple of sex toys hidden at the bottom of her closet. She'd bought them when she first moved to California, hoping they'd break the cycle of serial one-night stands. While they'd been good, she'd not used them in ages. She could dig them out, dust them off, and take them for a run instead.

There, she had a plan for the evening. She'd pop out later to grab a bottle of wine or two, making sure to get fresh batteries. After heading over for a token visit at Stuart's comic book store. Then come back for a glass or two of wine and as many orgasms from her toys as she needed.

Chapter 2

Scene: The interior of the comic book store, its walls and windows are black with smoke stains. The false ceiling was gone, and temporary work lights hung suspended from the bare concrete above. The shop was empty, but for one old cloth covered reclining chair against one wall. It was smoke blackened and dirty, but otherwise intact.

At a knock on the door, Stuart appeared from the back room carrying a cardboard box. He opened the door to let her in.

"If you're looking for Leonard, he's not here."

"No, I know he's stuck at the university. He asked me to come around and apologise he couldn't come over and even offered my services. To help clear up, for a bit." She added.

Turning his back to her and gesturing to the space with the box in his hands, Stuart explained.

"Actually, Penny, the clearing up is just about done." Behind him, Penny did a double fist pump and mouthed the word 'Yes'. She tried not to sound pleased as she asked.

"What's that?" She gestured to the box.

"Just about everything I managed to save from the store."

"That's not a lot, is it? I never realised how big this shop really is."

"And that's a problem."

"Why?" she asked.

"Because while the insurance company will pay for the repairs. They are offering almost nothing to restock the store. Who's going to come to a store with like a dozen comic books?"

"So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, I really don't."

The pair stood lost in thought for a long time, each racking their brains for an idea.

"What's the story with that chair and the fire?" Penny asked.

"I was cooking in the back room and the hot plate caught on fire."

"And you couldn't put it out?"

"I was across the street at the do-it-yourself car wash, taking a shower. So, when the fire spread, the ceiling above collapsed over the chair, protecting it from the surrounding fire. Therefore, it escaped with little more than smoke stains. However, that was a tiny stroke of luck. At least I have somewhere to sleep."

Penny nodded, then asked.

"Have you thought of opening the store as something else?"

"Like what?"

"You studied art, right? Why not open it as a gallery and sell some of your art?"

Stuart looked thoughtful, and then added.

"I've tried that in the past. The problem is, I never know what's commercial."

Penny thought for a moment, then got an idea and was suddenly proud she'd come up with something when Stuart couldn't. She grinned as she realised, she could turn it to her advantage.

"I know a subject that sells." Stuart looked doubtful, but gestured she should continue. "Something which has sold well for centuries. Attractive young women, especially if they're scantily clad."

Stuart slapped the heel of his hand off his forehead, astonished he'd been so stupid and not realised that, and then he stopped.

"There are two problems with that. First, I've no drawings like that, and second, I'd need a model to draw some. No professional model would be prepared to pose and then have to wait to see if it sells before she's paid her fee."

"What about an amateur?" she asked, looking at the ceiling, trying to look innocent. She interlocked her fingers behind her back, pulling her shoulders back to emphasise her bust. Then twisted her spine, so her shoulders rock back and forth, causing her bust to move side to side. It was one of Penny's favourite moves, innocent but provocative.

"I don't know where I'd find one. The only girl I know who would qualify is you." He paused, eyebrows lifting as the pieces clicked into place. "You? You'd pose for me?" he asked, trying not to be too obvious he was staring at her breasts.

Not that it escaped Penny's notice. She was an expert in noticing when someone was checking her out, especially when she'd set it up.

"I might." She replied, trying to sound reluctant, but not quite pulling it off.

"What about the scantily clad?" He asked, trying not to sound too excited.

"If it helps, get you back on your feet. I could force myself."

"What about Leonard? What would he say?"

The question caused a stab of annoyance, and she snapped back.

"We're engaged. He doesn't own me." She grabbed the hem of her t-shirt and whipped it off over her head. Leaving her standing in a pale yellow bra covered with small navy polka dots. Not her sexiest, but she'd not planned on showing it to anyone tonight.

Stuart's eyes bulged even more than usual. His jaw dropped, followed by the box in his hands. It landed on his foot, but he didn't even notice. His eyes glued to her bra-clad breasts.

"Erm..." Stuart managed, and Penny leant forward to look into the box.

"Is anything broken?" She looked up and suppressed her grin, seeing Stuart's hands slowly move to cover his crotch.

Suddenly, Penny changed her plans for the evening yet again. Previously, she'd planned on opening the wine when she got home and having an early night to make use of the new batteries she'd bought. However, on the way over here, she changed that plan. It now ran - once she opened the wine. She'd strip off; run the gambit of crossing the landing to the boy's apartment naked and with sex toys in hand.

Then sit in Sheldon's spot on the couch and take some naked selfies to send to Leonard. Playing with herself in Sheldon's spot added a serious twist of taboo that really turned her on. Imagine the look on Leonard's face seeing the photos, and his frustration at being stuck at work.

She'd treat it as some sort of punishment for not being there to do his sexual duties to his fiancée. And she'd get a buzz from the idea of watching Sheldon in his spot, not knowing she'd climaxed on that very cushion.

Now, however, watching Stuart's reaction to seeing her in her bra, she decided she'd have some fun teasing Stuart. She loved teasing, and nerds were the best targets. A jock or a regular guy would only take so much before accusing her of being a prick tease. Nerds suffered in silence. In the slightest of chances, they'd see something more.

Leaving Stuart all hot and bothered would get her engine going nicely and make her battery-powered playtime even better.

Perhaps 20 seconds passed before Stuart realised, he was staring. He looked down, trying to remember her question.

"No, it's all bubble wrapped." He picked up the box and turned to walk away. "I appreciate the offer, but I don't think it's a good idea." Penny was a little disappointed that he recovered so quickly.

"Why? Am I'm not pretty enough?"

"God no!" He replied, turning back. "You're gorgeous; I've never seen a woman in the flesh who is sexier." That earned a smug smile from Penny.

"So, what's the problem?" She asked. "While I've never modelled before, I'm an actress. So, it's kinda in my ballpark. Looking hot on screen can't be much different from looking hot for the canvas." To prove it, she struck a pin up pose.

Turning partially sideways, and lifting one heel, to balance on her toe. Leaning forward a little and putting one hand on the bent knee, raising the other to hold the index finger over her pouting lips. Finishing it off with a sultry expression and pulling her shoulders back.

The finger to her lips said 'silence', giving the impression the intimate pose was just for you.

"Wow!" Stuart managed after a moment, his artistic eye competing with his male libido to see which would win.

"Still think I can't do it?" She asked, straightening up and fiddling with the t-shirt, ready to put it on.

"It's not you; I worry about what Leonard would think if he saw images of you in provocative poses on my walls."

Penny suppressed a grin, knowing that Stuart didn't know her boyfriend as well as he thought. Leonard had taken hundreds of pictures of her on his phone when she was less than fully clothed, both in lingerie and naked. In addition, pictures of them before, during, and after sex.

Almost without exception, he'd tease her afterwards, threatening to post the pictures on the internet. Just to prove how lucky he was to have Penny as his girlfriend and show the world how beautiful and sexy she was.

She knew the threat was hollow, and that actually was a little disappointing. A few tasteful nudes 'leaked' might give her career a boost, and she'd already done a nude scene on film. Besides the idea of thousands of guys all over the world, jerking off to her image made her incredibly horny.

"Oh, you might be surprised. Anyway, I've done nude scenes in my movies and in plays. He's ok with that." Stuart still looked unconvinced.

"Tell you what, why don't I call him now?" She slipped her shirt on and pulled her phone from the back pocket of her shorts and started to dial.

Scene: Leonard's lab. He's wearing safety goggles and is standing next to his lab table containing a complicated laser setup. Behind him is a monitor showing a scrolling graph of the vibrations in the room, with a clear red danger line.

His phone starts to ring, and he jumps in surprise. He snatches his phone and rushes towards the open door. Once there, he looks back at the graph. The line has spiked, but just missed the danger line.

He looked at the phone and answered.

"Hey Penny, it's not really a good time."

The scene splits again to show Penny and Stuart on one side with her phone on speaker, and Leonard on the other.

"I know, sweetie, and I'm sorry. It's just something really quick."