I rolled over in bed and groaned. My head throbbed, and pounded. Hangovers are the worst, I need to stop drinking with my friends. I rolled onto my back and rubbed my eyes. I lay there staring at the ceiling trying to remember what happened last night. My head hurt something terrible.
I blinked and sat up a bit. I looked around and couldn't recognize my surroundings. I wasn't at home, and I didn't remember going home with anyone. But then again, I couldn't remember anything about last night. Man, underage drinking should be illegal; oh, yeah.
I sat up further in bed and winced at the pain in my head. Again I looked around, I was not in a girl's room. There were heavy metal posters on the wall and guitar equipment lay in the corner. Oh, God. What did I do last night?
I swallowed and threw the covers off, I found myself relieved that I still had all my clothes on. I wore a pair of blue jeans and a black T-shirt with smart ass writing on it.
The TV suddenly turned on and spoke to me. "Goodmorning sleepy head." It was a woman, who seemed somewhat familiar and it took me a moment to figured out that it was that lady who played Carol Brady from the Brady Bunch.
"It's about time you woke up. You're going to be late to class." she said.
"Excuse me?" I asked, I wave my hand in front of the TV. I swear she was looking right at me.
"Stop that! I can see you." She motioned to the top of the TV where a tiny little camera was perched. "The world can see you."
I didn't reply.
What's-her-name threw her arms in exasperation. "Bloody hell, I knew you drank too much. Fine let me explain it again." She took a deep breath and began. "You are in a new world now, as you may have already been able to tell. You're on your very own TV show. There are cameras hidden everywhere in this world we have built for you, and everybody in it are actors, some of which you'll recognize."
"You're saying I'm in a Truman Show?" I asked regarding the Jim Carey movie.
She nodded. "In a matter of speaking, I guess but this show is much different, it's racy and sexy and funny and action packed and exciting."
I blinked. "Uh, have you guys met me? I ain't exactly the best looking dude out there. I can't make great TV."
"Yes you can. Don't you get it? You have Hollywood around you, the actor all have scripts except you. The audience will love the complete realness that you bring to all this storyline. Believe me when I tell you that you're going to love the story." The TV explained.
"Uh, what am I supposed to do now?"
"First let me explain the way things work. This house you're in now is your βfamily's' house. You are now standing in your room, use whatever is in there however you want. There is a full wardrobe in the closet for you ranging from everyday attire to formal wear. Now even though everyone but you is an actor, please don't react like a goofball. Anything they do to you or with you, just go with it. Just like real-life, act like you would if the given situation were happening in everyday life. Simple right?"
"I guess." I paused. "What am I suppose to do?"
"Get dressed and go to school. Have fun." The TV clicked off.
I looked around again, taking all this make believe shit in. This was some kind of joke or something. Or better yet maybe I'm dreaming and my alarm clock will wake me any minute. I moved to the closet and looked through the clothes. I found a clean pair of jeans and a red racing T-shirt and went down stairs.
I could smell eggs and toast from the hallway and I looked around and followed my nose to the kitchen. A woman was standing at the stove scrambling egg. She was wearing a white blouse and business slacks. She turned to me when she heard me.
She smiled. "Hi honey. Breakfast will be ready in a second sit down." It was Jennifer Aniston! They got Jennifer Aniston to be my Mom in this show. What the hell? I did my best to hide my reaction but if my day was going to be full of this surprise celebrity stars, I don't think I would be able to keep my mouth shut.
I sat at the table and Jennifer set a plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. I wasn't too hungry as my head still pounded from my hangover.
"Eat up, dear and I'll drive you to school." Jennifer said.
"Uh, ok." I did my best I could with the eggs and after I had ate most of them I began to fell a lot better. It wouldn't surprise me to find out that they slipped me a pill of something. How the hell did I get myself into this?
Anyway Jennifer drove me to school and I got a little tour of the neighborhood along the way. It was like I was driving around in Pleasantville. Everybody was acting like a 1950's movie remake. There were stores like "Candy Shop." and "Grocery Store." They could have been a bit more realistic and put names somewhere, like "Vons".
The school looked good though. It was a big building with a set of bungalows to either side, which were probably side classes, like music and drama and whatnot. The front of the school had a large courtyard like setting with a fountain in the center walk. There were benches and table everywhere and people all over the place. I figured that there were probably a lot of extras and the real actors like Jennifer would be main characters. I'm pretty smart even coming off a hangover and waking up in fantasy-land.
Jennifer pulled to a stop behind a school bus and let me out. "Have a good day."
I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I'll try."
I shut the door and she pulled away. I turned toward the school and patted my pockets. I felt a piece of paper in my back pocket and pulled it out. It was a schedule of classes, my that's lucky. My first class was bio and I headed toward the building to try and find the room. I passed by a bunch of people hanging around the tables and none of them seemed to notice me. Boy this was exciting.
"Jake!" A voice yelled from behind me.
I turned and saw a girl running toward me with two backpacks, slung over her shoulders. I recognized her instantly, it was Sarah Michelle Geller. She wore a V-neck top and hip-hugger jeans, her long brown hair flowed behind her as she ran toward me. I felt my breath pause a minute. This was unreal now, I began to wonder what they had in store for me.
Sarah dropped the backpacks as she reached me. She jumped and wrapped her legs and arms around me and kissed me firmly on the lips. I froze my eyes going wide. I felt her grinding herself against me and I became aware of her breasts pressing against my chest.
She paused and let me go. "What's wrong, why are you so tense?" She asked looking genuinely concerned. "Did I do something wrong? You're not mad at me are you?"
I blinked. "What no? Why would I? No, I just have uh, first day jitters that's all." Which was true in more ways than one. "What was the kiss for? I mean you'reβ¦never mind." I couldn't figure out why Sarah Michelle Geller had just kissed me and ground her βparts' onto me. She didn't know me I didn't know her. Then I remembered that this was all a big TV show and she was just acting. Well if I got to kiss hot chicks like her more often maybe I'd stick with this thing.
"What I can't kiss my boyfriend?" She asked pressing herself against me again.
Boyfriend? Oh hell yeah! They knew exactly how to get me on board didn't they.
I smiled. "You can. But be careful with me. Too much to drink last night. My head's a little fuzzy."
"Aww poor baby." She kissed me again, this time I kissed her back. I felt her tongue snake into my mouth and she moaned softly. How far was she suppose to go? The TV told me to go with whatever the other actors did, but I didn't want to cross the line with anybody and get yelled at. I figured sucking her tongue a bit would be ok, after all she put it in my mouth first. I put my arms around her and pulled her tightly to me. She moaned again as the school bell rang.
She broke the kiss. "We got to get to class." She turned and bent over and picked up the two backpacks. I smiled as her ass went into the air. I was beginning to like this TV show.
She handed me a backpack. "Here you left it at my place Friday."