All of the following is complete and total fiction. Not a single word of it occurred, nor would it.
The Perks of Being a Podcaster
by MrMaxLord
(MF, Oral, cons)
Chapter 4: Ashley Benson
"Okay, everything is pretty much set to go," Edison said. He came by to do a few last minute checks for the solo show today. Whenever it was in studio, nine times out of ten I did it alone. There was no need for Logan to show up. Not that he couldn't and didn't do most of the production stuff for the live shows, but frankly, solo it wasn't that much of a challenge.
Despite that, he pretty much had an auto set up ready to go on studio. The soundboard was clearly marked, so all the technical work was done. Still, given that all of Logan's clocks were permanently set to 4:20, I always thought it was prudent to get someone a bit more clear-headed to check the work, which is where Edison came in. If he said I was good to go, then I was good to go.
"Usual drill, press a few buttons, blah blah blah, I'm good to go in a couple hours," I said.
"Well, as good as you can be, considering."
"Oh shit, not you too. I swear, ever since Tro talked me into this everyone has been tenser than I should be over this."
"Fuck man, you can't blame anyone. The break-up you and Ashley had can best be described as a nuclear meltdown. And that's if I'm being nice about it. So, in case things go as bad as we all expect, I've provided some small clips that you can easily cut together for a best-of. And now, I bid you adieu."
"Thanks. I'll be sure to clean up all the bloodstains after the massacre you predict. Makes me glad we don't have shag carpeting."
"Ha. Seriously, that's a real laugh. Not just saying that to rub in how painfully unfunny it was. Anyway, no matter what happens, you might want to speed it up a little. Clouds were looking pretty bad coming in, probably not going to get better."
"There's...there's no optimism in you life, is there?" Edison shrugged then headed out. After that it was an uncomfortable round of the waiting game. I mean, it's not like Edison or really anyone had any reason to believe today's interview with Ashley Benson, star of Pretty Little Liars and my ex-girlfriend. How did it get to be ex? Well, she cheated on me. A lot. For five months. Understandably, upon discovering this I was a tiny bit miffed. I ended it then and there and honestly hadn't spoken to her in over a year, and would have happily gone on doing so if it hadn't been for Tro guilting me into it.
Then again, who knows if Ashley was really all that apologetic. This all could have be Tro trying to play matchmaker. Maybe she told Ashley the exact same thing to get her to be on the show. Still, Tro hadn't lied to him before.
All that considering, if Ashley had been able to come during a live show, I'd be far less nervous. But that's not how things panned out. So it was going to be her and I, alone in the office/studio that Logan and I called our business HQ. Yeah, this won't be awkward at all.
That's when the buzzer went off, like it was on cue. "Yo, who's this," I said into the intercom.
"It's me, Bart, Ashley," she said. "I'm sorry, I know I'm early."
"No problem, back door's open for you. Just let it shut, it'll lock itself."
"Got it." Okay, she was on her way up. Nothing to worry about. Be professional, be courteous. Sounds easy enough, right. I thought so. Then she walked in to the office. Even in jeans and a t-shirt, she couldn't downplay how beautiful she was.
"Hey," she said. Her tone was meek, but the smile on her face was genuine. "Thanks for having me on."
"Yeah, no problem." I replied. "You remember where to park?"
"Third floor across the street, right next to your car." She took off her jacket and hung up. It was definitely awkward in the room, but not as bad as I thought it'd be. "You look good."
"You too. Um, you want to take a seat or something before we get started, go over some stuff?"
"Yeah, sure." Ashley took a seat on the couch in front of the thing that approximated my desk. "So..prep, right?"
"Yeah. So, we're obviously going to hit the end of the show, so play around with that for a bit. Anything else coming up?"
"Um, promoting a new line of sunglasses should be good for a few quick laughs." she replied. "Splitting time between California and New York. We could probably get something there. Other than that, usual jokes about my boobs and stuff should work."
"If I remember right, those boobs are really nothing to laugh at."
"You always did have crystal clear focus on them." Ashley grinned wide, her blues eyes sparkling. "But yeah, I think we could shoot the shit enough to get a good show. Why aren't we live?"
"Ah, they booked a band. But with the way those clouds are forming doubt that's gonna happen. Not like it does me much good."
"Oh, well, you never know," Ashley said, a hint of flirtatiousness in her voice. "Things tend to get unpredictable when we're in the same room."
"So, you remember the basic set-up of this studio, right?" I asked, swiftly changing the subject. "Not much has changed except better recording equipment." I led her to the recording room. The set up was a lot like a normal radio recording room, albeit a bit more spacious since we didn't really have to worry about broadcasting.
"Doesn't get much simpler than sitting down with a pair of headphones on and speaking into a mic." she responded. "We ready to go then?"
"Almost," I said. I know that Tro didn't just talk me into this to have Ashley on the show. Frankly, Ashley didn't need to even be on the show, all parties involved in this knew that. Tro wanted me to try and smooth things over with Ashley, and Ashley was trying, if not going a bit quick, all things considered. "You want to just have some coffee or tea first? Talk a bit more?"
"I'd love to, Bart. You guys move the kitchenette or is it in the same place?"
"Same place."
"Good, I'll start the coffee. You always made it a bit weak, no offense."
"None taken. Though to be fair, weak to you has enough caffeine to kill a large bull elephant."
"Oh, I forgot you liked your coffee princess style." We both laughed as we entered the kitchenette. Ashley went right to work on the coffee while I got out the milk and sugar. "Mugs still in the same place?" she asked.
"Yeah, second shelf on the left."
"Gotcha." Ashley rummaged through the cabinet, not even hesitating in grabbing my mug and the guest mug, still having a clear memory of both. "Holy shit, did Logan turn his Darth Vader mug into a bong?"