"That's just what I wanted to hear!" Lt. Yar had spoken that line on Stardate 41209.3443.
Somewhat later, she approached me on the Starship Enterprise and averred firmly, "It never happened."
It was commensurate with the latter event that Natasha Yar instructed me to delete any memories I had beginning with Stardate 41209.3443 through Stardate 41209.6630. I did this out of friendship, not out of obligation, as I outrank her. However, she merely asked me to delete them from my memory; I am archiving them here on my personal computer, eyes only, as the events were very special to me.
Herewith, the events that took place in her quarters behind closed doors when she (and most of the rest of the crew) had fallen victim to an alien parasite that severely relaxed inhibitions.
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Immediately upon the door closing, Tasha had pushed me onto the bed. As I lay on my back, she began to disrobe.
"Lieutenant Yar," I began. "May I assume it is your intention that I initiate sexual congress with you?"
"Shit, Data, don't you have some kind of pornographic vernacular subroutine?" she asked. "What is this `sexual congress' bullshit?" By now Lt. Yar was completely naked. "I need to get FUCKED!"
I nodded. "Ah yes, 'Fucked.' Screwed. Laid. Nailed. Hot beef injection. Hiding the salami. The two humped beast--" She cut me off.
"Data, how many terms do you know for it?"
"In standard, I can cite over 100 phrases for it that are considered at least mildly vulgar. Shall I list the rest?"
Tasha shook her head, and smiled lasciviously. "No ... why don't you show me instead?"
I paused. "Lt. Yar, are you implying that you would like me to.... fuck... you over 100 times?"
She started to remove my garment, and while she did so my nose detected a feminine musk that told me she was indeed prepared for -- and therefore expecting-- coitus.
"Well," she explained, "at least as many as you can before you kill me... " she had reached my groin, and looked disappointed. "Data?? Where is it?"
"Where is what?" Then I realized where she was looking. "Ah, where is my penis?" She frowned. "Sorry, I mean my `prick'?" She smiled again and nodded. "May I assume you prefer .... fucking... a human male?" And I created my erection.
"Ooooh.... where'd that come from... oh, never mind..." and she took my erection in her hand, and started stroking it. Though I could not sense anything, I adapted to what I assumed she wanted to hear.
"That feels wonderful, Lt. Yar. Please continue..."
She sighed. "Data, you're being too clinical. Can't you role play? Access some porno you have on file and adapt it to the conversation. And you can start by calling me Tasha. Like, `God yes, Tasha, stroke my cock!' "
I was a quick study and even ad-libbed... "Oh God yes, Tasha, you love the feel of my prick, don't you? Beat me, beat me faster!!"
Incredibly, she increased her pace... her motions made her breasts swing pendulously, and I commented on that too. "Oooh, look at your magnificent tits swinging back and forth as you stroke my cock..." and I heard her gasp, even before I reached out with my right hand to caress your left breast, when she closed her eyes and moaned.
"Data? Doesn't it get any larger?" she asked after stroking me for a while.
"I am sorry, Tasha. This is an average human male's erection, 5.25 inches. Would you prefer another species?"
This gave her pause, and she sat back on her haunches. "How many can you emulate?"
"I am equipped to partake in the mating rituals of more than 500 races. Dr. Soong was quite thorough."
Tasha beamed. "You wonderful, wonderful machine you!" She leaned over and kissed me, fully on the lips, and again I made a noise so as to imply great satisfaction. Suddenly her tongue was in my mouth, a practice I did not even know about, but again I adapted and returned the favor. As an added surprise, I extended it to its full length. This did indeed shock her and she pulled her mouth away from mine quite suddenly.
"Holy shit, Data!" she exclaimed. "How long is your tongue?"
"The hill people of Isofron B, in order to ensure fertilization of the ovum, must stimulate deep inside the... pussy... after emission, mixing the spermatozoa with saliva to activate it. To accomplish this, they have evolved tongues or more than 10 inches in length, which I can emulate." Tasha was surprisingly patient through this explanation. "Is there something wrong?" I asked.
"Not at ALL! " she shouted. "Everything is perfectly all right!" Of a sudden, she was on her back with her legs spread, and I could see her vaginal area quite clearly. "Data, I hope you know lots and lots of terms for cunnilingus, because you are going to show me each and every one of them right now! EAT ME RAW, Data!"
I was happy to please her, and moved my head in between her legs. Though I was quite well read on the practice of cunnilingus, I'd never before attempted it. I'd heard the anticipation is often a pleasurable experience, so I slowly ran my tongue along her inner right thigh, and she seemed to enjoy this, or so I assumed from her moans. As I got closer to her mons, her breathing became a bit more irregular. Then I slid my tongue over the surface her labia. "OH MY GAWD!" she exclaimed. "Do that AGAIN!"
I did.
"HARDER, Data... goddamit it, EAT ME!" Of a sudden, Lt. Yar had taken my head in her hands and forcefully thrust my face into her pubic area; I took this as a sign to increase the stimulation, and thrust my tongue inside her vaginal opening. "YES!! YES! That's IT!" she exclaimed. Then, "OK, lover man, let's feel what that tongue of yours can do! Shove the entire thing straight up my tight pussy!"
So I released it full, thrusting a good 20 centimetres inside her. This had the effect of causing her to scream and contract her thighs around my head with a pressure of 113.56 psi. The Lieutenant is a very fit woman, and I was thankful (for once in my life) I was not a human male as her orgasm coursed through her. This pressure and her scream seemed to last for several seconds, during which time I continued to expand and contract my tongue. When she got her voice back from her climax, she was able to exclaim, "Don't stop don't stop don't stop don't stop don't stop donstop donstop donstop GOD keep fucking me with your tongue, goddamit it, EAT MY HOT WET CUNT!! donstop donstop donstop AND JEEEEZUZ I'M COMING AGAIN!!"
And she did. This time the thrusting of her pelvis was even more forceful than before, and since she was also flaying her legs around, her thighs no longer had my head locked in place and more from surprise than anything else I was knocked clear of her crotch.
I noticed immediately that she reached down, almost without thinking, and began to stimulate her clitoris with her finger... I leaned in once again, and used my tongue to help her. She squeaked, and instructed me, "YES, lick my clit, you pussy eater, flick it with your tongue, faster, faster!" She continued to entreat me to flick her clitoris with my tongue faster and each time she asked I increased the pace until my tongue was moving back and forth more than 100 times a second. Her breathing became ragged again, she groaned heavily, and soon her pelvis was once again thrusting as she screamed like a banshee through her third orgasm in less than 10 minutes.
"OH MY GAWD YOU'RE FUCKING MY CUNT WITH YOUR TONGUE AND I AM TREMBLING LIKE A MARSQUAKE!"
Her hips kept jerking as she slowly came down from her climax, and I caressed her arm as she shuddered. She pulled my hand in tight to her breast; I lay on the bed next to her and gathered her in my arms, and this seemed to be what she wanted as she sighed. "Thank you dear dear Data. My I trouble you for a few more after I rest up a bit?"
"It is no trouble at all, Tasha. It is... 'my pleasure.' "
She smiled at me and kissed me again. "More mine I'd say, but you're sweet to say so." She appeared to me contemplative for a moment snuggled in my arms before her hand strayed down to my groin. "Data, where'd you put it?"