The Lieutenant: A Shaggy Sahlet Story
"Engineering to Lt. Tilley! Respond!"
Tilley listened to the page for the third time. She wasn't avoiding the Chief Engineer, she just loved hearing her new rank again. She decided to answer lest she lose that new title. She keyed the communicator button.
"Engineering? Tilley here."
"Commander Watt here. Meet me in the main transporter room in five. Watt out."
Tilley made it in four minutes but the Commander was already there. Jane Watt, Chief Engineer leaned on the transporter console, arms folded across her smallish, pert breasts. About forty, trim, tall and perpetually in a foul mood. Some said her mood was because of one too many jokes about a steam-powered starship. Some said it was because she was a bisexual and hated indecision. Some said it was a love gone wrong with a University of Edinburgh classmate now on a more prestigious ship. The Hood wasn't exactly the Enterprise or even Discovery, but she ran. Watt even had her over Warp 8 chasing a Romulan ship recently. Damn Romulans and their cloaking device!
"Tilley! About time! Here." Watt handed Tilley a communicator, a tricorder and a small briefcase. "Sorry, no weapons on the planet. At least for us. Captain Dodge is in the Meeting Hall, with the Andorian Ambassador. He needs the case. Give it to him only. Then you have a couple of hours to kill. You will stay on the planet as the Captain's backup. There's a bar. Real alcohol from across the Federation. Order a drink, sit in a dark corner and relax. Stay sober, keep an eye out for trouble. This is an Orion Outpost, and they'll trade with anyone. Klingons, Romulans, Saurians, Tellarites, I even saw a Gorn! You name them! Keep an open channel on your communicator in case the Captain needs you."
"Understood Commander."
"By the way, why are you wearing a blue uniform. You're assigned to Engineering now. Where is your red shirt?"
"I don't like wearing red on an away mission. Besides, I figured blue would blend in more." Tilley had heard the rumors that wearing a red shirt on a mission was bad luck for a new crew member.
Watt sighed. "Be careful Tilley. You're annoying but I've grown accustomed to you." Watt smoothed a strand of Tilley's kinky red hair and caressed her face. Tilley leaned into the touch.
"This will be just like the Klingon homeworld. I was there with Michael-"
"Stop chattering Tilley! Klingon homeworld! Just beam down."
"Yes Commander." Tilley turned and stepped on the platform.
"Energizing." Said Watt. In a few seconds Tilley was gone.
Tilley materialized on a transporter pad on the perimeter of a busy public space. Dozens of races from across the quadrant milled about. Green Orion "Slavegirls" and their male servants were everywhere. She spotted Captain Dodge across the hall about fifty meters away, standing next to a tall blue skinned Andorian and two Vulcans. She stepped off the pad and strode purposefully towards the group.
"Hey! Federation! You with the orange hair and big tits!"
Tilley turned to see the biggest Klingon she'd ever seen pointing at her.
"I saw you on Q'onos! Your hair is different. So what's in the box little big tits?"
"Hey! Cut that out! The box is sealed and it's none of your business! Now leave me alone!"
He reached for his d'k tagh "I will open the box then I think I will open you! Ha! Ugnh."
The Klingon crumpled and fell to the floor in the middle of his threat. Behind him was a tall, burley bearded human with a crooked grin. Tilley recognized him immediately.
"Harry M-"
"Shush! Not so loud. That Klingon was looking for me. Always glad to help the Federation. Tell your Captain. Au revoir Cadet!"
"Lieutenant!" She corrected, but he was gone. Tilley straightened her uniform and approached the Captain.
"Captain Dodge? Commander Watt sent this for you. Wow this is an exciting place! Almost too exciting! There was this Klingon, and he wanted-"
"Ok Tilley, thank you. Go entertain yourself for, uh, let's say two hours or so. There's plenty to do. Don't stray too far from that transporter pad. Keep an open channel and be ready to go on fifteen minutes notice. Now, run along."
"Yes sir."
Tilley found her way to the bar that Watt had mentioned. Leave it to a Scot to know where to get a drink. The Orion serving wench (the way she was dressed she could not be described otherwise) suggested Saurian Brandy, and discretely mentioned that Romulan Ale could be had for a price. Tilley opted for beer from Earth. She sipped it slowly and watched the crowd.
Outside, she saw the big Klingon had recovered. He was trying to explain to two of his shipmates how a little Earth girl had knocked him out without even touching him. The smaller Klingons hit him with their pain sticks until he passed out again. They transported out.
"May I join you Lieutenant?" A handsome Vulcan in traditional dress stood before her. His voice was soft and comforting.
"Sure! Hi! I'm Lt. Tilley from the Starship Hood. Are you with the Vulcan delegation? I just love Vulcan culture. I know, you don't get love, but I certainly appreciate it! My roommate on the Discovery was raised on Vulcan. Do you know her? Michael Bur-"
"My, you talk a great deal. I am, uh S'kok. I was with the Vulcan delegation. But I have been excused because I am suffering from the Pon Farr. Are you familiar with that, lover of Vulcan culture?"
"Yes, sure: Vulcan mating imperative. It takes over, right? I've never experienced that myself. Well how could I? But I know Vulcans. Of course they don't like to talk about it. Is it causing trouble for you?"
"Yes. I am unable to concentrate. Unfortunately, the medication I take to mitigate it is failing. I have important information for the delegation, but I can't focus long enough to express it. The future of your, I mean our Federation depends on this."