The Gang Bang Theory
The Alice Reintroduction Factor
The producer sat at his broad oaken desk, stained to resemble walnut, and also stained with long nights, bitter coffee and over-sweet tea spilled on it over the years, and a couple of grooves at one edge where one of the network suits had insisted on setting his lit smoke. The room was redolent with the odor of ham, onions and cheese from yesterday's lunch, and he considered opening a window to the dense Burbank air. He decided against it.
His assistant, a few minutes late again, darted into the room. "Hey Chief! Great morning, isn't it!" His face reminded the Chief of a dog's, not in shape or a protruding nose, but in the mercurial way he shifted from a hangdog expression to practically smiling with a canine level of enthusiasm, waiting for whatever treats were flung his way. At least he doesn't hump anyone's legs, the Chief thought quietly.
"What's so great about the morning? We still have to cover three or four episodes before it's the right time to get Penny and Leonard back together."
"I may have just the thing to span that arc!" He pulled a manuscript, bound in brown cardboard from the supply cabinet, with round, hard edges and a black border on the ends, front and back, holding the two-pronged paper fasteners in place. He presented it to his boss, almost as if he were presenting a relic to a king or priest, and stepped back respectfully.
"What's this, Duncan?"
"A script treatment for three, maybe four eps of TBBT. It goes in a different direction, but it might be just the way to shake some cobwebs off and engage new viewers. Gain new fans!"
"Is it any good?"
"I read it cover to cover. Might be a good fit, with a couple of tweaks here and there."
"Alright, I'll check it out. Get me a coffee. Two creams, one sugar." The assistant scuttled out of the Chief's office, and the Chief settled back, choosing a starting point a few pages in by habit. No point in reading a lot of exposition if the meat of the story didn't keep anyone's interest.
********
Alice's heart trip-hammered in her chest as Toby's slender, gentle fingers trailed up the outside of her jeans, along the seam and up to her hips. The warm Southern California air, moments after dusk, swirled past them on the porch by his front door. It was still warm, but that wasn't why she shivered. "You're getting me to a boil...," she whispered huskily, willing him to seize her and pull her into him.
Toby smiled a little wickedly. "Alice, you're very sexy, and I'd love to go further..."
She nodded vigorously, nearly lost in the heat of her lust. "Go further, go all the way...," she almost begged. His loving and gradual seduction had her weak in the knees and quivering down to her clit. Her heart skipped a beat, then another, as she lowered her hands to his, still tracing along the outsides of her thighs, guiding them up towards her hips, pulling them discreetly inward between her thighs. "I know you want me..." She knew that, and hoped he wanted her as badly.
Toby leaned in and kissed her, opening his mouth slightly, his tongue flicking out and over her lips. "I do...but not yet..."
Her body was aching with need for him, her breasts stiff and tingling as she pressed them into his chest. Her clitoris throbbed with every heartbeat and shivered at each pass of his fingers on the outside of her hips, and Alice felt a pang of desperate need, close to pulling her clothes off, then his, and riding him fiercely until dawn on the little wicker settee by his front door. There was enough cover from the bushes and fence that they could realistically keep almost entirely hidden from the occasional passersby on the suburban sidewalk, but she knew she wouldn't be able to keep quiet.
Toby's fingers drifted across her firm buttocks, and she sipped air into her mouth, fighting back a lustful moan. Nibbling his earlobe, she delighted in his soft gasp. She whispered in his ear, wondering how persuasive she could be. "You need to...fuck...me..." She stroked his crotch, panting when her fingers alit on the swelling thickness there.
He cupped her buttocks, and squeezed as he lifted her off her heels. "Rules, baby, rules... Third date, then I'm all yours..." He was insistent on them, not wanting to ask her to spend the night until they got better acquainted. She mused that a long hard lay was a great way to
get
acquainted, but he still demurred.
"Fucker...," she whispered, filled more with lust than actual anger at his turning her down. "I've been a good girl for two months... Strike that, I've been
horny
for two months, and I need some cock!" She kissed him hard, hoping a soft, lingering and sexually charged kiss could change his mind.
"
Some
cock?," Toby answered archly, taunting her for her word choice. His hands continued stroking and squeezing the firm buttocks still sheathed in her jeans. Moving his mouth from hers, he trailed his tongue on her earlobes, then down her throat, stopping at the collar of her t-shirt.
"Fuck...
Your
cock, Toby. I want you to take me right here, screw me right on the porch."
"Patience, my sexy girl... One more date to go..."
"Before a night of absolute paradise, right?"
He grinned easily, halfway between a smirk and broad display of his perfect teeth. "Only way to find out is after one more date. I pretty much think it's guaranteed." His lips met hers again, and they stood there in the cool night, lip-locked and holding each other, for a while longer.
********
The cup of coffee, in a blocky brown gift mug that announced 'Best Boss', clunked onto his desk, sloshing slightly, but not spilling any this time. "So, Chief, what do you think?"
"It's hard romance, leaning into softcore porn, and the network won't like it. Hell,
I
don't like it."
The assistant persisted. "But, Chief, her character was more popular than we expected, just like Bernadette was. You should see the fan mail! We should look at a way to bring her back on screen." He sounded earnest, just like the Chief had probably sounded before he became the Chief. "This is a great story arc, and the fans like Alice, and we have an opportunity."
"Leonard cheated with her..."
"Just made out with her, and Priya's not coming back for the next season; we already have her exit planned. This is perfect, since all the other characters are either spoken for or hilariously unable to join in." That was for Raj, of course.
"Not convinced, but I'll keep reading. For now." As an afterthought, he turned back to the first few pages. "Let me look at how we introduce Toby again. We need to make him a part of the group, along with Alice. Can't have two shows in one without some interaction..." The assistant heard the scowl in his voice, and smiled inwardly. The Chief was considering it, or he wouldn't be so gruff.
********
Alice stalked into Stuart's Comic Center, wearing jeans and a dark blue shirt tight enough to almost make out the tattoos on her arms. The clenching of her forehead and eyebrows made her pretty features seem to be peering out from a violent thunderhead. "Hey, Stu...," greeting the proprietor. She was the only one who called him 'Stu', and was the newest customer of his little shop.
Stuart responded with a nasal
hey
, wondering absently whether he could get her to use his full first name, and then whether she would be interested in seeing him on a date. With her.
Alice tossed her head dismissively, though not at him, and headed to the carefully arranged comic boxes in the center of the store, and began to pore absently through stacks of comics, starting at the B's. "Have it, have it, have it, have it," she chanted quietly under her breath, looking for that one comic, whichever it was, that would get her mind off last night's debacle with the good-looking, timid and faithless Leonard.
Unnoticed on the other side of her, also poring nearly silently through the stacks, stood another, with a tall frame, slender fingers, and keen attention on the stapled tomes before them. He didn't speak the words she had used, but an onlooker would see the mental machinations as he rejected each one in turn.
