The Frozen Peas of Northrend

"I knew coming here was a shit idea. The shittiest fuckin' shit idea I ever fuckin' had. Fucking Northrend. What the fuck?"

The warlock cursed with every shivering breath, face barely hidden under the black hood that offered little more than the promise of warmth. Having to hold the hood against her head to keep herself covered, Iza was quite the sight with snowshoes that would have been more appropriate on someone twice her size.

Ever since the sky above Icecrown had been ripped open, the Scourge had gone on a rampage all across Azeroth. The Argent Crusade, a holy order created to fight that threat, had called upon the aid of any hero, adventurer, or mercenary willing to fight the undead menace. Thinking only of the profits to be made there, Iza the goblin warlock had traveled to the roof of the world, Northrend.

Her partner, casting a sympathetic glance down at the tiny goblin woman, held a hand out, her other hand holding a colossal crystalline hammer over her shoulder. "The Light keeps me warm, I could teach you... Until then, you are welcome to ride on my shoulder, if you wish," Ashe offered, the Lightforged Draenei wearing little but the revealing plate armor of the Army of the Light.

Iza huffed proudly, refusing the busty Draenei's help once more. "If I need your charity, I'll ask for it."

"Is it not you who asked for aid in completing this contract? I am glad you brought me here, as I very much enjoy the destruction of this so-called Scourge... but there is no shame in asking for help," the colossal woman said.

Iza's eyes were briefly drawn to the enormous bulge beneath the Draenei's codpiece. She gulped, remembering quite well the events of their previous meeting in Ratchet, where the Draenei had fucked the lights out of the warlock. She also recalled how the Draenei had complained that the curse Iza had laid on her hadn't been fully dispelled, forcing the paladin to relieve herself quite frequently to take care of the constant ache in her balls. "I did ask for help. Not my fault Tzanna didn't come back after I sent her to find food..."

"You and I both know she's probably sipping mimosas on a beach in Tanaris," Ashe said, her strong legs carrying her through the thick snow of the Storm Peaks, golden eyes scanning the area for the cave on the map. She didn't dare pull the map in question out, worried that the wind would carry it away.

The green-skinned woman grumbled, knowing full well that the Succubus had probably fucked off to Void-knows-where. "I sure hope this warrior is worth the gold the Argent Dawn is spending for us to find her. Wish they'd bothered giving us rations for the trip, though."

"The rations you forgot at the camp?"

"Are you blaming me for this, Ashe?"

"Not at all. What would make you think tha-" The paladin's words came to a sudden halt as she thrust a hand out.

Iza, looking anywhere but ahead, walked right into it, falling onto her rear in the snow. "Agh, fuck. Why'd you go and do that?" complained the diminutive spellcaster, brushing snow off herself as she stood back up with some difficulty, thanks to the cumbersome snowshoes.

Ashe placed a fingertip to her lips, pointing to a nearby cave, guarded by two skeletons wielding shortswords, rusted armor hanging from their clacking bones. Small red pinpricks of malice shone within the darkened sockets of their skulls as the pair of undead scanned the surrounding area for any would-be intruders. They hadn't seemed to have noticed Ashe and Iza when the paladin yanked the goblin behind a nearby pine tree.

Iza groaned in protest, face nestled between Ashe's thighs, firmly pressed to the Draenei's overflowing codpiece. Half as tall as the grey-skinned Draenei, the warlock was at the precise height needed to get a face full of fat Draedick. Pulling her face away from the paladin's crotch, Iza whispered: "So, what's the plan, then?"

"I only see two... And they are not well-armed. Nothing we can't handle, anyway. We take them out quickly and as quietly as possible to avoid alerting any foes inside the cave. I've been on the receiving end of your curses, Iza. Is there anything you can do that doesn't involve removing one's ability to reach climax?" Ashe gripped her hammer firmly, eyes fixed on the two skeletons at the cave's entrance. Anticipation burned in her golden eyes and a soft golden aura radiated from the crystalline head of her weapon.

"I've... uh... I can probably cast a dancing curse. How's that sound?"

"It'll buy us time. Ready yourself."

Prying herself away from Ashe, Iza began the quick incantation of her curse, whispering in a language unknown to her companion. A faint aura, purple and black, began coalescing around her wriggling fingers. From behind the cover of a tree, Iza then thrust her open palm outwards in the direction of the skeletons.

The same dark aura soon surrounded the left skeleton who began moving his bones to an invisible beat. A lively beat, Ashe thought, judging by the manner and energy with which it moved its limbs. The skeleton on the right, noticing that movement, turned its skull slowly to observe the curious situation -- just in time for its head to be blasted away by a streak of golden light. As soon as the dancing curse had landed, Ashe had thrown her weapon at the skeletal fiend.

Ashe's hammer, still in the air behind the skeleton, came to a sudden halt, frozen in place, as the undead being crumbled into a useless pile of bones. Before Iza could even realize what was happening, Ashe had appeared in the air in a radiant explosion of holy energy, swinging her crystalline two-hander at the dancing undead. For a split second, Iza thought she might've seen terror flash in the eyes of the creature.

"Talk about overkill," Iza said as she walked out clumsily into the open, visibly still not used to the too-large snowshoes. Once she'd made her way to the rocks at the entrance to the cave, covered in less than an inch of snow thanks to the rocky outcropping above, the warlock immediately tossed the cumbersome snowshoes aside, cursing all the while.

Blowing a loose strand of hair, Iza watched as, wordlessly, Ashe made her way into the dark cave. Holding her illuminating hammer ahead of her like a torch the Draenei's breathing was as steady as it had always been.

"Follow me," the huge paladin half-whispered. "But tread lightly, dangers unseen lurk in every shadow."

Looking over her shoulder at the windy mountains behind her, the goblin saw no other choice. Fuck. Sooner we get in there, sooner we get out. She took a deep breath, trying to gain some semblance of composure, and followed the imposing Lightforged woman. Though now protected from the harsh winds of the Storm Peaks, every step brought with it a renewed chill, a deep dread that wormed its way into her brain. Was this even worth the gold? Five hundred gold would barely even begin to cover her debts to the cartels... At least Ashe was there to protect her.

All around them, the stone walls and floor had gradually shifted to dark ice, causing the two women to nearly slip and fall twice as they went ever downwards into the darkness. The light from Ashe's hammer, while powerful, didn't seem to reach quite as far as it should have to dispel the suffocating obscurity of the frozen tunnels.

Iza felt a shock and pain as something grabbed her waist. A metallic sound resonated around her, barely registered as she felt herself being pulled back into the darkness. She yelped as her shoulder crashed against an icy stalagmite, sending shards of ice clattering onto the ground. Though her flight, in truth, lasted mere seconds, it felt like an eternity until she finally came to a halt, hitting something soft and fleshy. A putrid stench assaulted the goblin's nostrils as fat fingers wrapped around her waist, turning her around.

The raven-haired warlock's eyes came wide as she came face to face with an abomination, a stitched-together mass of corpses created by the Scourge. One of its huge, bulging eyes stared at Iza hungrily. Oh fuck, if I ever get out of her, if I ever leave this place in one piece, thought Iza, trying to pull her head out of the range of the thing's foul breath, if I make it out, I'll be sure to become a priest, I'll wear as many white robes as they need me to. I'll even dye my hair blonde...

"HA! GOT ONE FOR DA MASTER!" the hulking thing shouted, thick strands of saliva flying from its mouth and landing in Iza's pigtails. "ME GONNA-"

The thing never managed to finish its thoughts as Ashe rammed into the behemoth with her shoulder, forcing it back a few steps. The impact forced the abomination to drop Iza onto the ground, wincing in pain as she held her shoulder.

Spinning about with surprising grace, the imposing paladin swung her hammer towards the construct, her weapon almost blindingly bright. The streaking meteor of Ashe's hammer came to a sudden stop as her furious opponent blocked the attack with a bloodstained cleaver. While other fighters would have instead attempted an attack from a different direction, Ashe simply pressed harder with her hammer, muscles bulging as bright light flooded the tunnel.

Iza was forced to close her eyes, placing an arm over them to shield them further from the holy radiance.

Inch by inch, the abomination's cleaver got closer to the undead beast's face, forced backward by the Draenei's light-fueled strength. Rays of light seared the thing's rotten flesh and soon caused it to melt completely, sloughing off the creature's bones.

When Iza's eyes opened once more, all she saw was the Draenei leaning on her hammer and catching her breath, the smoldering, lifeless husk of the corpse-construct at her feet. "After millennia spent fighting the Legion, these walking corpses aren't so bad. Are you ok, Iza?"

"Shoulder's fucked, but I'll survive. Thanks."

Ashe raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Never thought I'd get a thank you out of you. Here, let me help with that," she said.

"Oh, don't get used to it," getting down on one knee next to the goblin and placing a single hand on her damaged shoulder. A warm, golden light slowly grew around the Draenei's hand and dissipated just as fast. "I'm not much of a healer, but your shoulder should be fine."

The warlock looked down at her shoulder, rotating her arm slightly as though to test the limb. "Huh, most of the pain's gone. Not bad, for someone who claims to be shit at healing."

The paladin nodded as she stood back up, readjusting her codpiece and Iza noted how it seemed to be leaking some amount of light-infused precum, sizzling as it hit the frozen ground below.

While the rest of the descent into the winding tunnels remained uneventful, the two mercenaries felt the oppressive weight of the surrounding shadows, nonetheless. They had to keep a hand on the walls to steady themselves, as the ice-covered ground paired with the soft incline of those tunnels made for a treacherous path.

After many long moments, Iza and Ashe finally arrived at the end of the undead lair. The massive, dome-shaped cavern seemed to hold no other foe or threat. At the center of the hundred-foot-wide cavern, however, was a block of ice within which seemed to be encased a humanoid silhouette. Only the fair face of a human woman remained visible, poking out of the enormous icy prison.

The sound of Ashe's gold-decorated hooves seemed to alert the woman in the prison, her bright blue eyes opening immediately. Ashe and Iza froze in place as the blonde woman's gaze fixed itself upon them. Unsure if this was some trick or trap, the duo glanced at each other.

"Uhhh, hi?" Iza said, voice echoing against the walls of the vast, empty space.

Struggling in vain, body encased in the thick ice, the woman shouted: "Are you with the Crusade? Get me out of here, please!"

Frowning, Ashe stepped closer. "I sense no foul magic at work within this woman," she half-whispered to Iza before raising her voice to answer the human's call for help. "I am not certain if we are with the Crusade, but we were sent by them!"

"Are you Lena Trueshield?" Iza asked, taking note of the curvaceous silhouette entrapped within the semi-translucent prison.

The human woman nodded. "Mind helping me out of here?"

"You're worth quite a bit of money, lady," the warlock said, grinning ear-to-ear, rubbing her hands greedily as she approached the base of the blue-white ice pillar within which Lena was trapped.

Stepping over Iza and slapping her behind the head with her flaccid prick, Ashe gripped her hammer with both hands. "We are here because it is the right thing to do," the paladin scolded.

The blonde woman's eyes widened as Ashe approached with the intimidating hammer.

Iza, still recovering from the cock-smack behind the head, grabbed the Draenei behind the leg. "Woah now, you're going to hurt her if you try smashing that thing up with that big old hammer of yours. This is something that requires a bit of goblin ingenuity," the raven-haired witch said, chuckling.

Fire danced at her fingertips, red and black as she approached the base of the ice prison. As soon as the first few syllables of her incantation slipped past the black lipstick of the goblin's lips, a delicate red circle formed around the pillar. With each subsequent word of the spell and with every waggle of the woman's fingers, the ring grew brighter until flames burst from the ring. A small wall of flame, two or so feet in height, appeared all around the pillar.

Within a few minutes, the heat of that spell had caused the prison to melt enough for the woman inside to free herself, seemingly unbothered by the heat of the goblin's magic.

Iza and Ashe's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets as Lena pulled herself from the grasp of her melted confinement, for the woman was completely nude. Her skin, still wet from the melted ice, reflected the light from Iza's fiery spell.

"I owe you both a debt I am not sure I could ever repay," the blonde woman said, wringing water from her hair.

Ashe's cock throbbed at the sight, for the woman before her had a body unlike any she'd seen in months. Approximately five and a half feet tall, the blonde had breasts even larger than Ashe's considerable bust, each fat, white mountain of flesh a little over two feet across, with pink nipples. Her areolae, meanwhile, seemed entirely absent, their shade nearly matching that of the surrounding skin.

Between the thick, toned thighs of the human was a little dark bush, the trimmed tuft of hair nearly sending Ashe into a lust-fueled frenzy. The paladin could control her lust when the women around her were clothed, but when it had been days since she'd relieved herself and a busty beauty such as this stood before her, there was little she could do to keep the fires within her core from raging.

Iza, meanwhile, had her eyes fixed on Lena for another reason. While undoubtedly attractive and far curvier than anyone who lived on rations in Northrend had any right to be, what caught the warlock's eye was that this human woman showed no signs of discomfort at being surrounded by the infernal flames of the goblin's spell. "Odd..." the small woman muttered to herself, approaching the blonde woman.

Though she did not seem to feel the magical flames around her, she appeared to be fully affected by the natural cold of the caverns. "P-please, help me find my armor..." the shivering woman said, folding her arms over her chest to try and retain what little body heat and modesty she had.

"It's almost night out," Iza said, placing both hands on her hips as she ended the fiery spell with a snap of her fingers. "And you're freezing. Sadly, though, we've only got two sleeping bags. Mine would most likely be too small, but Ashe could probably fit another person in there... And, judging by how silent she's gotten, I'm sure she'd be more than willing to share body heat with you, as well."

Ashe responded with a simple nod, her cock giving a final throb as her codpiece went flying, clattering onto the ground ten feet away.

Much like Iza and Ashe's eyes nearly popped out of their skulls at the sight of her enormous udders, Lena's eyes nearly did likewise as the Draenei's colossal two-footer came into view, throbbing angrily and leaking a steady stream of golden precum.

Clearing her throat, Lena managed a meager. "That seems uncomfortable..."

"Yeah, and it's kind of my fault too. Sex curses never seem to be fully removable!" Iza said with a chuckle.

"Sex curses? You know about those?" asked the blonde, turning her penetrating blue gaze towards the warlock. "I mean... I... Yes, of course. I would gladly help your friend out, but I still do not know either of your names," the soft-spoken woman said, her shivering causing her gigantic tits to jiggle slightly.

"I'm Iza, this is Ashe," the small spellcaster said, pointing to herself and her companion with her thumb as she said their names. "I'd go into details, but I think Ashe here really wants to share body heat," she continued, reaching up a little to give Ashe a pat on the rump.

Barely had Lena agreed to the arrangement that Ashe had pounced upon her, grabbing onto the human's gigantic, wobbling tits with fierce hunger and allowing her mouth to roam the fat, needy nipples that presented themselves to her. "Ahhhn..." a soft whimper of delight slipped past her partially open lips.

While Ashe mauled those oversized tits, Iza nonchalantly retrieved the blankets and sleeping bag from the Draenei's backpack, tossing them onto the ground. Whistling all the while, the tiny warlock moved behind Lena, grabbing a hold of her fat, doughy rump. While the rest of the blonde woman's form was rather athletic, her ass was fat.

Unable to resist the sight, Iza planted her face between those gigantic cheeks, spreading them eagerly to lick and tease the human's asshole. A long moan then slipped from the blonde's mouth as she felt her sensitive rear entrance thus teased by Iza's practiced tongue, knees nearly buckling from the intense sensations.

Feeling one mouth alternating from one breast to the other as another eager mouth worked on her sensitive rear entrance, the crusader jerked and bucked. It seemed as though the skilled hands and mouths of both Draenei and goblin worked upon her as if from a single mind, causing her to rub her thick thighs together in response, desire leaking from her eager cunt. "Light... Unngghh..." the fair-skinned woman managed to moan before falling onto her knees, tits escaping the hungry grasp of Ashe.

Iza, however, did not have any such mishaps, mouth still toying with the swordswoman's puckered hole as they went down onto the furs. With the blonde on her knees, Iza now had an easier angle from which to assault the moaning whore, even going a bit further than that as she allowed herself to gently stroke Lena's lower lips.

With her upper body resting on those huge, wobbling funbags, Lena was soon confronted by the sight of Ashe sitting down before her, spreading her legs and giving the blonde a perfect view of that gigantic ashen fuckrod, sat atop two colossal nuts. From the tip of that fat, throbbing spear, globs of glittering, light-infused precum spurted, rolling on the underside of the paladin's pussy destroying beast.

Ashe's nuts brushed against Lena's face and the woman knew what she had to do at that moment. She opened her mouth, allowing her plush lips to press against the hairless, cum-laden ballsack before her. The woman closed her eyes, savoring the taste of Ashe's skin, against her tongue, coating as much of those melon-sized nuts with her slobber as she could.

The slick folds of Lena's juicy snatch eagerly accepted Iza's agile fingers as they slid into her, rubbing against those warm walls, and eliciting another moan from the ball-sucking woman. "Fuck, don't get your ass eaten that often, do you?" the goblin said as she emerged from between those huge, doughy cheeks. She chuckled before diving back in.