I had to wash myself after our group sex session, feeling rather sweaty and sticky, considering everything I'd just done, chuckling to myself that I'd actually done it at all. Wandering through the village without clothing wasn't a problem. The villagers had long since disappeared, a nice way of saying they were all dead, and everyone else had headed to their own cottage. The water was freezing but also invigorating, though once out of it, I quickly returned to the cottage where Leliana was waiting. Quietly slipping inside, I came to a stop at the sight that greeted me.
Leliana was face down on the bed, naked, her perfect body completely exposed, lit up by the fireplace to my left. And it was clear she was masturbating, her arse lifted slightly off the bed as I could see two of her fingers sliding in and out of her. She must have known I'd entered as I heard her whisper my name. Stepping forward, I crouched down and kissed her toes, hearing her try and stop the giggle, as I kissed up her foot, onto her calves and up her leg. I continued up to her arse, and I think she expected me to take over, but I then kissed the small of her back and upwards, all the way along her spine, until I reached her neck and then gently bit her earlobe.
"Are you thinking about me?" I whispered.
"Always."
"Thinking about what exactly?"
"What you do to me," she breathed.
"Where's Solona?"
"Another cottage. She wasn't feeling well. Wynne is looking after her."
I pressed my body gently against hers. I could feel her sweat on her back against my chest. My already hardening cock nestled in the crevice of her arse. She wiggled it and I know she wanted me to enter her.
Pressing my lips to her ear, I whispered, "Cum for me, Leliana. Cum for your Dragonborn."
"Oh Maker..."
I could see from her shoulder movements that she was now masturbating furiously. Just knowing she was doing it was a major turn on. The coldness of the lake was already long forgotten.
"Are you going to cum for me, Leliana?"
"Mmm hmmm..."
Rolling off to her side, she rolled onto hers. I didn't look down to see what she was doing. Watching her face alone was enough. Her eyes were filled with lust and desire for me, and me alone. Her lips were parted slightly as she breathed deeply. Her forehead had a light sheen of sweet, her red hair plastered against it. She lifted her fingers for a moment and put them in my mouth, allowing me a taste of her, before lowering them again. I simply kept looking into her eyes, caressing her cheek, leaning forward to softly kiss her. Shuffling closer, I felt her breasts graze my chest, our legs crossing as she continued to masturbate. Her breathing started to grow rapid and I knew she was getting close. I rolled her onto her back and removed her hand, putting her fingers in my mouth as I slid my cock inside her. The smile on her face was reward alone, and it only took a few short thrusts for her entire body to start convulsing. Her orgasm must have been epic and near enough brought me to climax at the same time. She reached up and kissed me hard, holding me tight to her body, her legs wrapping around me, holding me in place.
The only sounds were her deep breathing and the crackle of the fire. She must have held me in silence before making a sound. Lifting my head, I was greeted by the sweetest smile imaginable. "I love you," she said. I opened my mouth but didn't know what to say. I felt the same but... I was who I was. How could she actually love me? She noticed my hesitation, but the smile on her face did not waver. If anything, it broadened. "I know you feel the same way. And I know exactly why you won't say it. That doesn't matter. I still love you."
I pulled out of her and slid to her side, holding her close to me, continuing to only look into her eyes. "I do," I whispered, "But I don't deserve it. How can you tell me that after what I've just done tonight?"
"Why would you think that?"
"Because while I may use words like 'honour' on the battlefield, my private life is not the same. I am... I don't know what to call myself." I could think of a few. Bastard and philanderer were the obvious two. The only one I didn't label myself is a liar. I never lied to her.
"Ragnar, I love you. That's all that matters. Will you lay with me more often than not? I think you will. If I were to ask you to make me your one and only, I think you would agree in a heartbeat. What I do see with you is a future. Once all this is over, once the darkspawn are defeated, then we will be together. Maybe just us two. Maybe one or two more. Maybe I'll be willing to share you for a long time to come yet. Maybe the Dragonborn will have a harem of beautiful women, all of them in love with him as he loves all of them in return. All that will matter is that we're together, Ragnar. You have my heart. Do I have yours?"
She was pouring her heart out, and I nearly wept. I can't remember the last time I even came close to crying. "You do," I said quietly, "But I can't..."
"I'm not asking you too. Be with Cerys, as I know she cares for you greatly. Be with Solona, as she needs to be loved. Be with anyone else, just return to me when you are done, that is all I ask."
I had survived twenty-five winters, yet I knew little about matters of the heart. All I knew is that I did love her. I knew how I could show her too. But there was this carnal part of me that needed satisfying. I needed to be with others, though I would always return to her. Maybe she understood that. I knew it was a failing on my part, but if she was ready to accept that, maybe it all could actually work?
I held her close as she went to sleep. I lay awake, thinking about my life, all the women I'd been with. None came close to Leliana. Well, maybe Aela, but I never fell in love with her. She had been good fun, the sex fantastic, but I never saw a real future. With Leliana, I'll admit it, in addition to the fantastic sex and the fact we got on well, I could see marriage and children, one day in the future. And I'll admit another thing. It frightened the life out of me. A warrior may be scared before battle, but in regards to matters of the heart, I didn't have a clue. At least in a fight I could prepare myself and adapt during the battle itself. When it came to love, I was a complete novice and out of my depth. I finally drifted off, the same thoughts still twirling through my mind.
Waking the next morning, I was greeted by a smile, as she'd clearly watch me sleep. After wishing her good morning, I had to get it off my chest. "I have sex with Zevran last night."
I was expecting anger. Rage. A slap across the face. Accusations regarding my sexuality, as it would have been a shock to the system. Instead, she giggled first. "You're serious?" I nodded. "Why?"
"Caught in the moment, I guess. I'd never considered it before, but well..." I swung my legs around, placing them on the cold stone floor. I felt Leliana move to sit next to me.
"Do you regret it?"