The Big Bangin' Theory

This is a freaktacular sleazy fuck parody... It ain't real.

"Damn Courtney, you can pound the blow." My old partying buddy and current ho, Courtney Love and I, were doing lines in a motel in Hollywood. We were in between fuck sessions and getting wired for our next session. Courtney has a great body. I just looked at it while she snorted my yayo. That sexy bitch can party. I always bring extra recreational stuff with me when I meet up with Courtney.

We fucked for another hour. I was running late. I need to go over to see Bernadette. She's friends with my girl, Penny and me. I got her pregnant at a party recently. She's so damn horny now. I have to fuck her 2 or 3 times a day and if I don't, she gets really grumpy. I haven't been able to do it as much recently because Penny and I are planning a trip to New York City and my pimp biz is booming, so I don't have as much free time for her. Courtney was riding my hard cock, moaning and slamming down on me, while she smoked some weed, when Penny called.

"Hey babe, what's up.?"

"Just wanted to hear your voice, sexy man. Are you at Bernadette's yet?"

"No babe, I'm running behind. Oh... Can you do me a favor?"

"Sure...what do you need?"

"I need you to let Howard hang out there for awhile. Bernadette doesn't want him there when we fuck anymore and she's already grumpy about me not fucking her enough. Could you do that for me babe? I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll take you shopping on Fifth Avenue when we are in the Big Apple. All the shoes you can handle, baby cakes."

"OH MY GOD THANK YOU!! OK. I'll keep the little weasel occupied while you freak his wife. Ha. You know how lucky you are, don't you? I'm running interference for you, so you can fuck other girls."

"I know babe. I'm the luckiest guy in the world...and thank you sweetheart. I really appreciate it."

"You better. You owe me big time for this. I'll get nice and liquored up and keep him occupied somehow." We laughed.

"You'll be fine babe. I promise I'll take you on a big ass shopping spree. I promise. Thanks babe. Love you."

"Love you too babe... say hi to Courtney for me." We laughed. She knew what... and who, I was doing.

I hung up and drilled Courtney hard and fast. She squirted for the 17th time and I pumped my nut for the 6th. I filled that worn out twat full of my cream. "By the way... Penny says hi." Courtney and I kissed. I gave her some weed and left her there. I made my way on over to Bernadette's place. She was grumpy... and horny. "It's about damn time James... I've been waiting all day for you... and this big cock." She grabbed it and pulled me in her front door. She jumped into my arms, wrapped her short legs around me and pulled my cock out. She didn't have panties on and she had on a short blue dress so she easily guided my cock into her sweet snatch.

Bernadette bounced wildly on my hard cock, pounding it with her warm, snug pussy. It wrapped so tight around my thick shaft, stretching to accommodate my size. We kissed. I held Bernadette in my arms, her big, natural jugs pressed tightly against my chest. She took charge and worked my cock, her way, at her speed...which was pounding hard and blazing fast. She was so hungry for my manmeat, her pussy devoured it.

Meanwhile, back at my place...

Penny walked to the door... Howard was knocking... wearing a very, stare inducing, outfit. She wore a skin tight pink polo shirt, no bra, very short... and tight, white with pink stripes track shorts, with JUICY across her booty, tall socks with pink stripes at the top and white and pink sneakers. Her long blonde hair was in pig tails. She had on soft pink lip gloss and eye liner. She was chewing gum too. My woman is fucking hot. She blew a bubble and opened the door. Howard stared. Penny played her part perfectly, pretending to not know he was coming over.

"Hey Howard... what's up?"

"Nothing much... James asked me if I could check on you to make sure you're OK."

"Awwwwww, that's so sweet of him." Penny smiled and blew another bubble, popping it quickly.

"Come in and hang out."

"Really? You usually don't want me around."

"C'mon Howie... (She gives him a sultry, sexy look, blowing a bubble, licking it back in her mouth... popping it and shaking her eyebrows) keep me company. We can get to know each other better." Penny slowly licked her pink lips, blowing him a kiss. Howard stared, open mouthed. He didn't say a word... just stared. His cock got rock hard in his tight, light blue pants. Penny looked at it and smiled. She is an awesome sex tease... Howard still stared. His cock jumped in his pants. Penny reached down and softly ran one fingernail from base to tip up his hard cock in his pants. She blew a bubble and popped it again. "C'mon in and get off... Your feet. She winked at him.

Howard looked like he was frozen in place. Penny laughed, knowing she was doing an outstanding job of occupying his attention. She went in and sat on the sofa. She patted the seat beside her, inviting Howard over. He finally came out of his trance, but Penny laughed when Howard awkwardly walked over to the sofa, trying to hide his erection. Penny takes great pride in her sexual teasing skills. She's a master... a very hot one. They chit chatted, drank some wine and watched TV. Howard turned it to a porn ppv. Penny rolled her eyes and shook her head. She knew she had to bite the bullet and play along to keep him occupied.

It was an anal sex themed movie. "Don't worry, I'll pay you guys for the movie. It's just that Bernie has cut me off sexually lately and I'm horny as hell all the time. Sorry." Howard shrugged his shoulders at Penny. She tried not to get suck from Howard's "horny all the time" talk. Even though they hooked up while I was in Texas. It was a one time thing and Penny has regretted it ever since. But alcohol tends to lower her inhibitions... so she decided not to drink anymore.

Penny had to admit, the movie was turning her on. She loves for me to fuck her ass as much as possible. She's very proud of her perfectly shaped ass and she knows I'm obsessed with it, so it makes her love for anal sex even stronger. "Do you and James do that a lot? Bernie never let's me do it."

"Howard..." Penny wanted to tell him to leave, but she remembered her promise to me... and the big shopping spree I was taking her on, so she swallowed hard and restarted the sexual teasing. "What? Anal sex? Of course. We both love it. James loves pounding my sweet ass... and I love him doing it. I have the ass for it. Look." She bent over to the side of the sofa and lifter her ass up. She shook it at Howard, mesmerizing him with the JUICY on her booty. She smacked it and squeezed it, blowing a bubble as she looked back at Howard and popped it. She sat back down on the sofa and smirked.

Howard stared open mouthed again. Penny decided to keep going with it. The movie was turning her on. "You mean Bernie has never let you stick your little cock up her ass? You have the perfect size cock for a beginner in anal sex. She should try it. She'd love it. Maybe I'll mention it to her." Penny smirked again. She was really enjoying the sexual teasing. Her pussy was wet from it... And the assfucking on screen. She kept going. "You should eat her ass out. Shove that tongue up her ass and go to town. Get her all wet and worked up. She'll beg you to fuck her ass." Penny's beautiful, pink nipples were rock hard and poking through her top. Howard stared at them and got brave.

"Would you show me how?"

"How to what?"

"How to get her all wet and worked up, so she'll beg me to fuck her ass."

"Howardddddd!!" Penny started to get angry, but remembered our talk. She took a deep breath, calmed down and put on a brave face. She thought to herself, "they better have some hot ass shoes in New York. I can't believe I'm gonna do this." Penny took another deep breath and smiled at Howard. "Ok... I'll show you how... But that's it!! NO FUCKING!!"

Howard was so excited. He grinned from ear to ear. "You got it. No fucking." He kept grinning huge.

Meanwhile, back at Bernadette's house...

I was ass banging Bernie. I had her bent over grabbing the stairs. I was behind her drilling up her shapely ass relentlessly. "MMMMMMMMM, FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE JAMESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" I grabbed her big hanging tits and squeezed hard, her tasty milk shooting out, blasting the stairs. I leaned in and sucked those natural udders, drawing out that sweet milk, swallowing it right down. I alternated tits and sucked them so hard and greedily. Bernie squirted for the fifth time, "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!"

My cock piledrove up that soft, white ass, every fucking hard inch rampaging in and out harder and harder. I pulled her back to me and kissed her passionately, my tongue fucking hers, my rock hard, big cock blazing up that ass. Bernie squirted again as I kept ass thumping for another 10 minutes.

Back at home...

Penny was nude, her legs up to her shoulders, twisting her vibrator up her perfect ass, moaning loud and blowing bubbles. Howard took his clothes off. Penny was gonna stop him, but just warned him, "keep that little dick of yours over there... You can tongue my ass and finger it... but no dick!!"

"Yes ma'am." Howard smiled and snickered.

"You take the vibrator and twist it in my ass, slowly then fast." Howard took the vibrator and slowly twisted it in and out of Penny's ass, while she blew bubbles, popped them and moaned loud. "Mmmmmmmmmm, FUCK!! Now faster."

Howard twisted it faster up Penny's ass. It vibrated in Penny's ass so good, she squirted. "FUCKKKKKKKKKKK!! It shot out and hit Howard in the face. He stuck his tongue out and lapped it up. He worked the vibrator faster and faster in my woman's perfectly shaped ass. Penny screamed in pleasure, the fucking and vibrating causing her to squirt again. This time Howard put his mouth directly on her soaking wet snatch. Penny started to stop him but said, "fuck it" and let him suck it out of her. He shoved his tongue up her pussy and lapped up all of the sweet juice. He kept twisting the vibrator in and out of Penny's curvy ass working it faster and faster and faster.

She squirted again. He sucked it all up again. Penny pulled her nipples hard, shaking them hard and letting them snap back in place. She blew bubbles and popped them, screaming in pleasure. "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!! GOD DAMNNNNNNNNN, FUCK MY ASS WITH THAT FUCKING VIBRATOR!! Howard fucked Penny's ass even faster with the buzzing vibrator. He pulled it out and shoved his tongue up her ass, licking her out. Penny took the vibrator and put it on her clit. "OH SHITTTTTTTTT!!" She squirted again. It flew out into Howard's face and across the room.

Howard stopped. "Thanks for showing me Penny. I definitely think Bernie will beg me to fuck her ass now." He smiled. Penny kept vibrating her clit. She smirked at him.

"You know damn well your gonna fuck my ass... So get the fuck to it. Pound it hard!"

Howard stood up and shoved his small cock up Penny's sweet ass, her legs on his shoulders. Penny kept vibrating her hard clit and blowing bubbles. Her perfect C cup jugs jiggling wildly as Howard hammered her ass hard. Penny screamed out and squirted again, still buzzing her clit. She looked at Howard and blew a big bubble. He popped it with his finger, saying, you need room in there for my cum, cause that's where I'm putting it."

"You better."

Howard smiled and drilled up Penny's ass harder and fucking harder. She took the vibrator and shoved it in her pussy. She screamed out in pleasure and squirted all over it. Howard pulled out and straddled Penny's awesome chest. He jerked his cock, as Lenny opened her mouth wide, sticking out her sexy tongue all the way. He put his cock on Penny's tongue, pushed into her mouth and came hard. He pumped out a good sized load of jizz. Penny wrapped her beautiful lips around his head and sucked out every drop. She moaned around his cock and sucked it hard, making sure to get every fucking drop of cum.

When Howard finished cumming Penny opened her mouth, showing him all of the cum. He grinned a huge grin. Penny then... Pulled his face to hers, turning him on his back, spitting all of his jizz back into his mouth. She kept her mouth on his as she snowballed him. She made sure she kept her mouth on his long enough, so that he had to swallow his own cum. Penny made sure he swallowed it all, before she took her mouth away.

"That's for getting cocky." She winked at him. Such a gorgeous tease. She knocked him down a peg. Howard wiped his mouth, but also smiled. He had a great time.

Back at Bernie's place...

I fucked Bernie's huge, milk filled cans incredibly hard and fast, my cock flying through that tit tunnel. They felt so fucking good. She sucked the plump head, sucking out all of my precum. I drilled her mouth and tits, my cock loving the trip. I came hard into her mouth. My cock pumping out my creamy load forcefully into her sucking mouth. Bernie smiling so big around my spurting cock. She moaned so loud and sexy. "MMMMMMMMMMMM, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, MMMMMMMMMMMM, I LOVE YOUR BEAUTIFUL COCK JAMES!! She mumbled around my cum pumping cock. Bernie swallowed every fucking drop I gave her.

I followed it up with my piss, shooting it down her swallowing throat. She just opened her throat and swallowed it all down. She sucked out every fucking drop of piss. I pulled out and finished pissing on her beautiful face. She loved it, smiling huge, lapping her sweet tongue, catching my warm yellow cocktail and swallowing it down. She sucked me totally dry.

Bernie kissed every inch of my cock and balls. Smiling so sweet the whole time. I got down and sucked her big tits some more, softly biting them, licking them all over and sucking those big, natural milk jugs voraciously. I swallowed a couple of mouthfuls of sweet milk.

Later that evening at home...

Penny and I were relaxing on the couch, my arms around her. I kissed her neck as she told me everything about her and Howard. I was turned on, but of course, someone knocked at the door. Penny kissed me and got up, answering the door. It was Amy, Sheldon's wife. She was lonely because Sheldon went to a seminar in San Jose. Penny winked at me and a few minutes later, she and Amy were 69ing on the floor. I watched and filmed it, smoking and jerking my cock. I went over and slid my cock up Penny's ass. I pounded it for a half an hour. She screamed out in sexual bliss, squirting 7 times from my ass pounding. I pulled out and came in Amy's mouth. I pissed on her face, then shoved my pissing cock in Penny's juicy wet snatch. I fucked it ridiculously hard as I pissed in it. Amy sucked up the piss that shot out. "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!! I LOVE YOUR FUCKING COCK JAMESSSSSSS!! I LOVE YOUUUJUUUUUUUUUU!! FUCK MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" I pounded that pussy til it was puddin'.

Penny squirted four more times, covering my cock and Amy's face, when I pulled out. I shot another load of cream, this time all over Amy's face. Penny turned around and licked it all off. They kissed and cum swapped my cum. I fucked Amy's pussy and ass for an hour. She came 14 times. It was incredible... She just kept squirting. Penny licked her pussy clean and my cock also. I came in Amy's ass and Penny winked at me as she sucked it all out of her ass. Amy came four more times just from that. Penny and I were in awe of Amy. She was an orgasm machine.

I ate chocolate pudding out of Penny's pussy... After she cleaned it. Amy sucked me off two more times. She loves my cum. We let her sleep over at our place and fucked all night long. That's my life, sex, sex and more sex. I love it. It's a ton of fucking fun. Hey, it's... The Big Bangin' Theory.