WE FUCK... ITS WHAT WE DO!...
"Honey... snookums... why exactly is there a giant monster truck in the driveway? Hmmm?"
"That's just James' new monster truck. Eat some cereal."
"James' new monster truck? My son... who I love by the way... bought another monster truck?"
Yes. He wrecked the last one. You remember. Now eat."
"Honey bun... I DON'T WANT TO EAT FRIGGIN CHEERIOS WHEN THERE'S A GIANT MONSTER TRUCK IN MY FRIGGIN DRIVEWAY! OUR FRIGGIN SON LIVES NEXT FRIGGIN DOOR! WHY THE FRIGGIN HELL ISN'T THE FRIGGIN MONSTER TRUCK PARKED IN HIS FRIGGIN DRIVEWAY?"
"CAUSE I TOLD HIM HE COULD! NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP! SIT DOWN! AND EAT YOUR DAMN CHEERIOS ASSHOLE!" My mama (Kathie Lee Gifford) is a boss. She puts my dad (Dr Evil From The Austin Powers Movies) in line, real quick. Dad sits down, nervously looking around, scared of mom. He obeys mama and starts eating his cereal. Dad may be an evil mastermind out in the world... but at home, he's mama's bitch. (Laughing)
...
Over at my fuckbilly fuck pad...
"Lick it bitch." My sister Jenni tells her close friend Snooki to lick her strapon while she films me fuckin that big titty skank, doggy style, on my bed. I slap her fuckin ass and pound her out good. Snooki licks Jenni's big ass, flesh colored strapon, moaning so damn loud from my fat dick pickle tickling her slutty, bald pussy. God damn, she's got a nice pussy. So damn smooth and wet and warm. I slap her curvilicious, phat ass again.
"UHHHH!! I LOVE YOUR DICK, JAMES!! AHHHHH!!" Snooki screams. I slap her ass again and again and again, pulling her long, dark mane, watching her big hanging titties jiggle, as I pussy plow her. Jenni blows me a sweet sister kiss. I stick my tongue out and wiggle it at her super fine ass. She hands me the camera and comes over, kissing me, her arms wrapped around my neck. God, I love my sister... all of em.
Jenni sucks my tongue off, blowing it like a cock. My fat dick keeps drilling Snooki deep. "AHHHHHHHHH!! I'M CUMMINGGGGGGGGGG!!" Snooki screams out. She loves to fuckin scream. Her phat cunt shoots out the pussy cream, pelting my cock and me.
I start pissin in Snooki's well plowed pussy. Of course, she screams. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! HE'S PISSING IN ME JENNI!! AHHHHHHHH!! OH MY GOD... I LOVE IT!! UHHHHHHHH!!" Snooki bites her lips, loving the warm rush of urine inside her over stuffed cunt. I pull out and keep pissin. The piss from Snooki's cunt blasts out, splattering me, Jenni, the bed, the floor and even the wall behind me. Snooki farts, causing all three of us to laugh. I piss all over her soaked pussy and fartin ass. Snooki looks back at me and keeps screaming in freaky, wet pleasure.
"YESSSSSSSSSSSS!! PISS PISS PISSSSSSSSSS!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" I slam back up Snooki's cunt, with Jenni still sucking my tongue and pound the fuck outta Snooki, stilling pissin in her.
Snooki squirts again, her cum mixing with my surge of piss. The second I finish pissing, I cum, pumping my thick sperm into my sister's dear, sexy and slutty, screaming friend. Snooki screams in orgasmic delight. "AHHH AHHH AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! UHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Jenni pulls my still cumming cock out of Snooki's totally drenched pussy and bends over, sucking it in. Jenni sucks hard on my fat crown, licking quickly on the sensitive underside. OH FUCK YEAHHHHHHHH!! My gorgeous sister sucks me dry, swallowing a mouthful of my super sperm, then softly chewing on my cock. I love that shit. She licks every fat inch of my cock, up and down. Jenni gives it a big fuckin kiss, then smiles up at me, rubbing her naked belly. She's pregnant with my baby. We kiss, as I roughly play with those huge, enhanced titties of hers, squeezing em like crazy. Her milk dribbles out through my fingers.
Snooki farts again. Jenni and I laugh into each other's mouths. Snooki laughs too, as she turns around and licks Jenni's milk from my fingers, then joins in on the kiss. I fart and even Jenni does too. It's a fartin and kissin spectacular in my bedroom. Hell yeah!
As Jenni and Snooki sixty nine, I watch for a minute, dip my dick in Jenni's mouth again... then head off to shower.
When I get in the bathroom, I see one of girls... I got a lot of em... WWE Raw Women's Champ The Man Becky Lynch getting out of the shower, with a towel wrapped around her. "Hey there handsome." Becky greets me in her thick Irish accent. She kisses me, her arms around my neck. I squeeze her super firm ass, through the towel, then run my hands under the towel and smack her ass, squeezing it and shaking it. Becky's got a great ass, small, but tight and firm, and so fun to squeeze.
I pull her towel off and pick her up, taking her back in the shower with me. We fuck and suck in the shower. She blows me, I eat her pussy... we both cum. She rides me, as we kiss. I bend her over and fuck her absolutely gorgeous ass, doggy style, as the water beats down on her bright red/orange hair and face. I piss in her ass, pull out, then piss in her pussy.
Becky cums and cums. I finally cum all over her sweet little, perky tits and bright pink, hard as steel nipples. Becky licks it all up, as I watch, then drinks down a load of my piss, before we shower and get all sudsy. I fucking love fucking her hot Irish ass. She even poses for a few pics, after I turn the water off, with my pissing cock in her mouth. She posts em on her Twitter, with the hash tag, #PISSINGTHEDAYAWAY. My girl.
...
"Mama... I need to ask you something." My youngest sister Chanel (Chanel West Coast) asks mama, as she walks into the kitchen.
"What is it baby?" Mama replies, cleaning the marble counter.
Do you think James will get me pregnant if I ask him too?" Chanel asks, jumping up on the counter. My dad spits out his cereal, shocked by Chanel's question.
"Look at the mess you made." Mama fusses at my dad.
"I'm sorry dear. What kind of a question is that Chanel?" Dad asks my baby sister. "I mean really... my son... once again, who I love." Dad looks at mama, knowing how much she loves me and how close we are. "My son has already knocked up... (Dad uses air quotation marks)... his sister Jenni, and numerous other family members. Why do you want to get pregnant by your brother? Hmmm? It's so not Beverly Hills, my dear Chanel. Although it is vaguely evil... hmmm... never mind that. It's just not right, sweetheart. OK?" Dad gives Chanel a loving, fatherly look... not evil at all.
"Cause he's so hot... and I love him. Like you said... he already knocked up Jenni." Chanel says, with a pouty look. I love Chanel. She's my baby sister and a sweetheart. She's fucking hot as hell too. I'm very protective of my sisters... mama too.
"It's OK sweetie. I'll ask him for you." Mama tells Chanel, kissing her cheek. My dad holds his hands up in disbelief.
"Am I talking to my friggin self here? I'm an evil friggin mastermind here. Cut me some friggin slack." Dad shakes his head, in a kind of evil way, then gets up and storms out.
"Don't worry about him baby. He's an idiot. I'll talk to James for you honey." Mama smiles her sweet, mama smile at Chanel.
"Aww... Thank you mama." Chanel hops down off the counter and hugs mama. My mama is the best. She's always taking care of her children. She's the sweetest mama there is. God, she's hot too. How in the world did dad ever get her? (Laughing)
...
"FUCK HER BABE! YEAHHHHH!" One of my wives Kim Kardashian is cheering me on, in the backyard, as I doggy fuck the one and only Betty freaking White. It's for my Granny Bangers porn series. Yeah, I make porn. Hardcore redneck porn. I slap that old ass and piledrive the fuck out of her surprisingly still tight pussy. Damn, her old pussy feels good gripping my huge ass dick.
"You like it bitch?" I ask Betty.
"Hell yeah. Fuck my pussy bitch!" I smile my ass off. I love Betty White. We smoke and fuck regularly. She's my next door neighbor, on my right side. My parents live to my left. Betty is a cum whore too. She can't get enough of my thick seed. I fuck her for free. I never charge her, cause she's a sweetheart. She bakes me cookies too.
My hips slam into Betty's old, white, still smooth ass, my huge cock plunging so deep in and out of her rather youthful cunt. Betty even booty shakes on my dick, working my cock with her pussy like a world class twerker.
I reach under her and roughly squeeze her only slightly saggy tits. They are so freaking soft. God, they feel good in my hands.
"Give it to me baby. Work that pussy bitch!" Betty eggs me on. I slam bang her old, still slick cunt, slapping her ass, squeezing it, pounding the flying fuck outta her cunt. Betty squirts all over me. I pull out and lean over, sucking her pussy cum down, as she squirts it out. I love the slightly musty flavor.
I slam back up her old, bushy cunt and plow it for another ten minutes. I pull out and stand up, when I have to cum, turning Betty's head to my cock. She immediately sucks my entire fucking cock down her throat. The whole thing in one gulp... no gagging. I really dig this broad. Betty tickles my huge, throbbing balls, as I cum hard in her mouth, blasting my thick ropes of sperm against the back of her throat, as Betty pulls off some, and down that throat, when she deepthroats me again. Betty sucks out every thick, extra creamy drop and smacks her cum glazed lips, licking them too, as she pulls off of my happy cock. I smack my dick on her wet lips, as Betty looks into the camera.
"I'm Betty White bitch! And I just got Granny Banged. Swagg Pimpin motherfuckers!" Betty is fucking awesome.
Kim comes over and kneels down, sucking my cock to make sure there was no more cum. She and Betty kiss wickedly, putting on a show for me, as I take the camera from Kim.
"Mmmmmmmm. My man has the most yummiest cum ever." Kim always making me smile. My baby is the perfect woman and the sexiest piece of ass there is.
"He sure does. Makes me wanna fuck his brains out, just to get some more. A girls gotta eat... and I'm Betty Fucking White BITCHES!! Swagg Pimpin 24/7 in this bizzle my nizzle." Betty Fucking White being Betty Fucking White... nuff said, motherfuckers!
...
My cousin Ellsworth (Former WWE Superstar James Ellsworth) is a new hire for me and my crew. He had some legal trouble, so my aunt... my favorite aunt... Patty (Patricia Heaton) convinced me to hire him. She knows I'll do anything for her. She also let me fuck her tight ass for a couple of hours... and piss in it... to convince me. She's my favorite aunt for a reason. Patty has me wrapped around her little finger, but she's so sweet, she doesn't abuse that. I've gotten her pregnant twice. She didn't have the kids though. She thought it would be too awkward, at the time.
