I had just been laid off from my job as an electrical engineer and was not looking forward to the grind of job hunting. Being a woman in a very male dominant field was an advantage and a disadvantage. I could be hired quickly because companies would have quotas to fill, but I often wasn't taken seriously because companies had quotas to fill. Screw it, I'm not job hunting today, I'm having some wine and a good laugh at the Space Wars movie marathon. Obviously science fiction had nothing to do with real science; otherwise they would know 90% of their special effects could never happen.
Fast forward: oooh, why is that damn phone ringing so early in the morning when I'm hung over? It's obviously not a job since I hadn't applied anywhere yet, but I'll answer it just to stop that damn noise. "Yello."
"Jenna?" It was Mark, and old high school friend. I loved teasing him about not having a real degree because he had gone onto UCLA for Theatre Arts, but he must be good at what he does because he works pretty consistently, unlike most Hollywierd flakes. "Oh Jenna, I just tried reaching you at your office but they said you don't work there anymore." Not a surprise Mark called me at the job. It seemed like I was always there.
"Hey Mark. No, bastards laid off 85 people yesterday. What's up?"
"Good, then you're free. Tell you what, I'm doing a movie and I just lost my lead technician. I was told I could get anyone I wanted, so I thought of you. Interested?"
"Mark, there have got to be a million tech wannabees who want to be in the movies, and I don't have experience with this sort of thing. I'm not sure this is a good idea."
Mark turned on his charm voice. "C'mon, you don't have anything better to do, I'll put you up in a great apartment for clients, you will be the lead which means boss lady, and you get to be in a movie. That's bucket list for sure." He paused, "And face it, with the economy being the way it is, nobody can afford to turn down a paying job."
He had a point. It was January, and the big contractors weren't going to be doing any hiring until the start of the government fiscal year in October. "Ok, fine. But this sounds too good to be true. What's the catch?"
Mark sighed," the catch is we need a lead technician fast. I'm looking online, and I want to put you on the 635 pm flight out here. It's a lot of special effects and I've got hot sets with people standing around until I can get a technician. Can you do it?"
It was fast, but sure. I got all the information, made the flight, and got picked up by Mark and some actor/intern whatever. On the way to the apartment, Mark pulled out a bottle of champagne and some papers. We toasted and I signed what looked like photocopies of an employment contract with someone else's name blotted out. Probably not my best decision, but the champagne seemed to reactivate the leftover liquor in my system, making me hammered again at the end of the first glass.
The next morning the little intern picked me up at 5, brought me to the set, and walked me to a trailer. He seemed nervous. "Spit it out kid, I don't like pretense."
He leaned forward and began gossiping like an old bitty. "We are weeks behind schedule, we're way over budget, you probably won't be sleeping in that apartment much because everyone is working at least 12 hours a day, and you'll have to deal with Glenn."
Gave the kid a hard stare then smiled. "I knew there was a catch. I've known Mark for years, and he's pulled lots of scams like this. He wasn't fooling me getting me drunk to sign papers. I just need the work which is why I did it. But who or what is a Glenn?"
The kids face lit up with the opportunity to name drop, like knowing someone who did something was as impressive that you actually did it. "Glenn Hetrick!" I gave him a blank look. "You don't know who Glenn Hetrick is? Omigod he's only the premier special effects artist." The kid started gushing about the guy like he had a crush. Long list of stuff, worked with a bunch of names, a few I recognized, and evidently had gotten to the point where he was famous enough that he was allowed to be a pain in anyone's ass. Oh yay, this was bound to end well.
The kid then gave me a tour of the set, introducing me to everyone. A few were obviously too good to deal with a techie, some were fawning because THE Mark had handpicked me, but most gave me looks of apprehension. "Met Glenn yet? No- that's why you haven't quit yet. Good luck. So you're the next victim." Greeeeaaaattt. I like the other techies. I had broken up with my boyfriend some months back. Actually we just quit calling each other and trying to force a boring relationship. A few of these guys looked like my type: smart, organized, clean cut, stable, not the hard core look-at-how-drunk-and-stupid-I-can-be idiots. They immediately handed me a huge list and I started sorting it out, giving assignments, making decisions, but most of all, evidently being the human shield against the Glenn creature.
3 hours in and we are shooting a scene that I had to rework the generators because the last person who wired the cables must have been trying to start a fire. The actors act, the lights flash, the boom booms, and-
"What the fuck was that?!" A rough voice brought the whole thing to a halt. "Who was the idiot who changed the effects? The light's wrong, the sound's wrong, it's bullshit. Who did this?"
A couple of my techies, who were so glad to see me there, threw me straight under the bus. "Um, our new lead Jenna rewired the generator cables."
"Then Jenna needs to get her ass over here and fix it."
I walked across the set with my little intern, Greg, following me like a puppy. Evidently his function in life was to keep me happy so I wouldn't quit, like the 4 leads before me. "Excuse me?! I rewired that because it was a safety hazard. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea?"
As a man turned and stepped up, Greg leaned over and whispered, "That's Glenn, in charge of special effects. Good luck." He wilted back behind me.
I looked this Glenn over; you must be kidding, HE is a special effect. He almost tall, and had a thick meaty body like a laborer or parolee. He had on some kind of heavy boots and black jeans that involved chains, and a shirt that was spray painted on that showed huge gothic, tribal, whatever tattoos on his arms. He also had thick leather bracelets and a belt that looked like it was a gun belt prop and some other heavy jewelry, and that's where he stopped looking normal. He had earrings and face piercings, with a goatee that was shaved down to some sort punk style, and good lord, the eyeliner and his hair. His eyes had eyeliner and his eyebrows had been shaped to give a predatory stare, and his almost black hair had bleach spots and was being worked into dread locks. Wow, that explained a lot.
"Who told you to do that? It completely blew the shot! I had it done that way for a reason. You don't change shit without my say so." He took a step up to me, obviously used to being the bully.
I had been working in a male work environment for years, I knew this trick. I stepped up to him. "Who told me to? The law did, Ohms Law and Watts Law. I am a certified electrical safety supervisor, and it was a safety hazard. Sorry we didn't get your precious shot, but we also didn't get cooked. So back off and tell me what you need and I'll do it safely, or you can have your little diva tantrum and go with what you got."