As I walked off the jetway at Nashville International Airport, I realized my new journey was about to begin. Taylor Swift was starting her new tour in her old hometown. As I walked down to baggage claim, I saw a group of people holding signs with names on them. It caught my eye because amongst the signs I saw "Joe Williams- The Agency".
I walked up to him and said, "Hi, I'm Joe Williams. I am assuming you are the ride that Eliza arranged for me?"
"Yes, sir," the driver said in his southern-accent, "C'mon with me. I already have your bag in the car."
As we walked out of the terminal we approached a large black Tahoe with blacked out windows. He opened the backseat door and gestured for me to get in. I got inside and buckled up as we pulled away from the airport.
"I was supposed to give this to you. I don't know what it is, but you are supposed to read it before we get to the arena." The driver handed back a sealed manila envelope. I opened it up and found a letter that had The Agency's logo at the top:
Joe,
Congratulations on your first assignment with the agency! Your first assignment is the highest profile assignment that we have ever given a rookie, but we feel that you are up to the task and fit well with our client.
As you know, Taylor Swift will be our client. To give you a briefing on what to expect from her:
Age: 26
Height: 5'10"
Hair Color: Blonde
Measurements: 34-24-33
Bra Size: 32B
Pubic Hair: Shaved
Sexual Experience: Mild
Favorite Position: Cowgirl
Personality: Playful
We offer our clients any package they desire. Some of our clients are more hardcore and want someone they can abuse or be rough with. Others are interested in someone that shares interests in drugs and/or alcohol. Taylor, however, is looking for a "road husband" package. We realize that Taylor only falls in line with some of your physical preferences, but on most of the other tests you all lined up perfectly. This task is easier from a sexual standpoint, which makes it good for rookies, but is still difficult because it requires a lot more than just being good in bed. Now don't get confused, you will still be asked for a lot of sex, but there will be more to your assignment than just banging it out.
The "Road Husband Package" is a package often selected by those who are married or dating someone. As you may have heard, Taylor is dating Calvin Harris, a popular DJ. This prevents him from being able to join her on the road and can lead her to needing an outlet for sexual release. By purchasing your services, she has been guaranteed to have these needs fulfilled without risking any STDs or embarrassing publicity.
You will also be asked to provide more friendly support as well. On these tours, most people are worried about getting their jobs done, so Taylor does not have any real friends around to be with. She will likely want to sit with you and talk about her day. Your job is to listen and respond appropriately. Don't make it about you at all, but still seem invested in what she has to say. She may also want to do things like watch movies together cuddled up or take a hot bath together. Whatever she requests, do it and enjoy it. The customer is always right! The more our client enjoys her time with you, the higher your tip will be (and trust us, these tips can get very high). Make sure to be invested in the client, but don't build a romantic connection with them. Your assignment ends at the end of the tour and that is as far as this relationship can go.
The last thing we ask is that you do things special for her. Try to pick up on some things she likes and bring her surprises. If she likes flowers, bring her some. If she has been talking about a food she is craving, go get it. We have included in this envelope a credit card for any purchases that you need to make for your assignment.
In the envelope you will also find a badge. These will be your credentials that allow you access to Taylor's bus and will also provide a cover story for you. You have been assigned "Director of Hospitality" for the tour, which is intentionally nondescript. Try to avoid being noticed and make sure to never mention your actual assignment to anyone.
Once again, we wish you the best of luck on this assignment. I believe this will be a successful venture for you. Let us know if you need anything from us.
Eliza