I work as a cab driver in the north London area and one Saturday night I was working the night shift, which meant the normal amount of drunken lads throwing up and dropping kebabs in the back seat, and girls who flash just about every part of their bodies. Well one night after about 2 in the morning I got a call to go to the Embassy Club one of London's posh club's to pick up a VIP which wasn't that bad I had picked up a few VIP'S in my time and they were all very nice always gave a decent tip. So I drove over there and found the pavement covered in photographers all trying to get pics of someone I couldn't quite see and as I pull up people bounce off my car trying to get a good shot of the celeb. I get a little pissed off at all the nuts on my motor so honk the horn a few times to get them off when the back door opens and two people climb in. I don't really look round as I try to drive away with running over a camera man but eventually I get away then flick my eyes up to the rear view mirror to see what's in my cab and once I see my throat dries up. Cheryl Cole the WAG and popstar is sitting in the back of my cab her eyes look a little low then I realize she must be pissed the bloke next to her must be her agent.
"Chelsea Arrow street mate," the guy said while trying to sit Cheryl up. I tell the bloke no problem and switch my sat nav on and take a right turn.
"Hey what's your name," Cheryl is barley able to spit out in her drunk state and just as I go to answer her agent steps in.
"It doesn't matter what his name is Cheryl," I can't help but take offence from this posh twat but keep my mind on driving as he carries on.
"Cheryl tonight you made a complete ass of yourself what's your husband going to say when he sees tomorrow paper to find you falling out of a nightclub," Cheryl mutters something unheard to everyone then as I hit a speed bump the seatbelt less Cheryl is thrown into her agent's lap.
"YOU SICK PERVERT STOP THE CAR," Cheryl yelled her head off as I hit the breaks. I turn round to see her hitting her agent with drunken slaps while yelling at him.
"You sick bastard touching me up get out," and Cheryl is finally able to force the hapless agent out of the door and onto the pavement. She shuts the door and tells me to drive and I don't think twice about speeding away. A few minutes later I realize I have Cheryl Cole in the back of my car and she is really drunk as she is somehow trying to undo her shoes even though she had high heels on and they fell off her feet ages ago.
"So stud what's your name," Cheryl leaned forward and whispered in my ear nearly making me skid off the road. I manage to stutter out Phil but my mind is in a different place altogether. Do her one half is saying she's drunk and won't remember a thing this is your one chance to bang a celeb and a hott celeb at that. While my more normal side speaks to me calmly telling me I have a wife 3 kids I've never been unfaithful before why start now. This battle inside my head rages on for a few miles and I work out whatever I do I will be in the wrong as I approach some traffic lights. I make up my mind if I'm going to get wrong I will do the best wrong thing off all time. Cheryl's house in a few hundred yards on the left but as the lights turn green I swing right and head off for a quite spot to bang 1/5 of Girls Aloud as I watch Cheryl trying in her pissed state to say on her seat. I drive up this tiny grassy arena hidden from view as I switch off my lights and stop the car and get out.
I open the door for Cheryl and tell her, "Ok miss your home now."
Cheryl makes a sort of laugh snort noise as I help her out of my car. Her drunken state gives me long looking time over her amazing body dressed in an awesome white sweater that went all the way down to her legs with a shiny belt holding it down. As she gets out I look at her legs in black pantyhose's really making her legs look good and as she gets up I notice her sweater is a bit see though and her white bra is visible. She stumbles into my arms hiccupping from the heavy drink, as I smell her perfume the scent is intoxicating and I get a plan to fuck Cheryl.
"Well Miss Cole there you are home and safe that will be 23 pounds please," Cheryl looks around the dark clearing unaware where she is.
"Erm my manger will pay you," Cheryl slurs as she guides herself to the front of my cab.
"I'm sorry miss your manager's not here and I need my money now," As I talk I move closer to her touching her arm.
Cheryl grabs onto the bonnet of my car steadying herself, "it's fine Phil I'll write you a check where's my bag."
"I'm sorry Cheryl but I need cash money I need petrol so do you have any," I ask her.
"Hand me my bag," so as I pass Cheryl her handbag but after 5 minutes her hand pulls out of the bag empty as my heart beat quicken.
"Nothing" I say as she shakes her head and then turn in the worst acted performance you have ever seen.
"Aww man I need money my wife's pregnant I promised her money by the end of the month oh what am I going to do," I slide down my wheel holding my face pretending to weep as Cheryl even in her pissed state puts her arm around my shoulder to comfort me.
"Please stop crying please," Cheryl asks as I continue to fake sob.