Taming the Tiger

"So just cut off his dick."

Elin giggled. "Yeah, right, like Lorena Bobbitt did to her husband. I have a little surprise for him for Valentine's Day."

"What?"

"You'll see."

"Please tell me!" Josefin begged.

"I will tell you this, sweet sis, I'm going to humiliate him like he humiliated me." Elin began to sing "Taming the Tiger" by Joni Mitchell. "No, make that I am going to humiliate him

worse

than he did me."

"How?"

"He's meeting me in Vegas on Valentine's Day. I hinted to him that maybe we can get back together."

Josefin smirked. "Oh, I bet that made his cheating heart skip a beat. He would do just about anything if he thought he might be able to avoid paying you several hundred million dollars in a divorce settlement I suspect."

"Exactly."

"So what's the plan?"

"What would be totally embarrassing to a macho celebrity who prides himself on his sexual conquests? What would make him a laughingstock in the eyes of his buddies like that fat fuck Chuck or Airbag Jordan?"

"What?"

"Maybe you'd like to see for yourself."

"Yes!"

"That's good, Josefin, because you're going to Vegas with me."

"I am?"

"And you are going to engage in kinky sexual relations with my husband."

"I am?"

"Sure, why not, just about everybody else has. How do you think I enticed him to meet me in Vegas? He always has had a thing for you, sis. I mean, even though we are identical twins, your boobs are bigger than mine. What have we learned from all these reports of Tiger's mistresses?"

"What?"

"He is into threesomes and kinky stuff with porn stars and sluts. You know, I think that was the problem with Tiger and me. Our sex life was too vanilla, so he looked elsewhere for wild and crazy. I'm going to give him what he wants, and more. Then I'm going to take as much of his money as possible. But what else I have planned will cause him even more high anxiety."

"I'm a lesbian, Elin. I don't relish the idea of sucking a big black cock, or any cock for that matter."

"Yes, I know, Josefin. It's not my favorite thing to do either. So I acquired the services of this hot redhead who is a porn star to participate in our little orgy. Her professional name is Sarah Slurp. Tiger jumped like a shark at the idea of including her. Sarah agreed on the condition, well besides the $25,000, that she could bring a friend. He's a star too, but she said he insists that his identity remain secret, so he'll wear a mask. Although she did tell me his identity, and it fits my diabolical plan perfectly."

"Wow, this is getting kinkier by the minute."

"Here's some pics of Sarah." Elin handed Josefin the little net book for a peek.

Josefin's eyes bulged. "And I get to muff her?"

"Sure you do." I told Tiger we would start off with some girl on girl action, and while he watched we would take turns sucking his dick."

"Count me in for this caper, but please make my turns at the cock sucking short ones and my turns at the muff diving long ones."

* * *

"Hey Tiger, what's up? About time you called me back."

"I've been busy, Chuck. You know what's usually up—me. But Rachel and Jaimee and Theresa and Veronica and Holly and Kalika and Cori and Mindy and the others have been taking care of that."

"Remember that Christmas a few years back when you and I and Michael got together and you kept singing that carol? 'I'm Dreaming of a White Mistress' it was. Talk about dreams come true. You got a real white ho harem now. So are you really giving up golf for awhile to get your affairs in order?" Barkley began to laugh hysterically.

"Yeah, if I get another couple hundred hot white chicks to make my putter stand up, maybe I'll catch up with you and Michael."

"None of us will ever catch up with Wilt. He had sex with 20,000 women, if you believe his book."

"I wanted to talk to him about that, but he croaked before I had the chance. How can one man get that much pussy? Now that's a record that will never be broken!"

"Speaking of strange stuff, you got time to go on a little vacation with Michael and me? We are taking a cruise for Valentine's Day. Just me and him and a dozen Hooters girls. Talk about getting a heart on for Valentine's Day. I need to know now if you want to go, because I'll have to hire another dozen hotties. The auditions take time. Well, fifteen minutes, anyway, for them to take off their tops, get on their knees, and suck the Chuck."

Tiger snickered. "You sure have an obsession with blow jobs, Chuck."

"Yeah, it's worse than my gambling addiction."

Now Tiger guffawed. "That time you got arrested for running a stop sign and suspicion of DUI was hilarious. I can't believe you told the cops that you were in a hurry to get a blow job because the broad with you had given you a blow job a week earlier and it was the best one you had ever had in your life. Doh! No way was I going to tell the cops that I had that accident because I was in a hurry to get a blow job from Rachel, who I had stashed in a nearby motel. Shit, I was in such a hurry to get my hose drained, I forgot to put on my shoes."

"You know what really pisses me off, Tiger? Adam and Eve Pictures is making that porn flick

Tiger's Wood

, and they didn't even ask me to star in it. Damn! Getting blow jobs from georgeous porn stars and being paid to do it!"

"Speaking of porn stars, listen to this, Chuck." Tiger proceeded to tell him who he would be doing for Valentine's Day."

"Wow, it sounds like you and Elin won't be getting divorced after all. And she will be furnishing you with all the strange stuff you want in the future, including her sister."

"Exactly! All the pussy I want and I get to keep all my money too. My dad would be so proud!"

"Hey Tiger, what's the difference between a girl and a toilet?"

"I give up."

"A toilet doesn't want to cuddle after you drop a load into it."

"Ain't dat da troof, Chuck."

Tiger reflected on his eighteenth birthday party. His father Earl had given him six Playboy bunnies for sex, although Earl did most of the sex. He had those babes humping like rabbits. Tiger mostly watched since he had a problem with premature ejaculation back then, but plenty of practice in the years since had solved that situation. His father was his hero, and he wanted to be just like him, except a better golfer. During a drinking binge one night in college, Tiger even thought of joining the Army and becoming a Green Beret like his father. But when he sobered up, he dismissed that idea as a bit too patriotic, and decided to stick to shooting off the gun in his pants, into the mouths, pussies, and assholes of as much strange stuff as humanly possible.

* * *

On Valentine's Day, Tiger, Elin, and Josefin met in the lobby of the Bellagio Hotel. They proceeded to the Presidential Suite, the accommodations having been arranged by Tiger at Elin's request, after he admitted it was one of the few luxury suites in Vegas where he had not bedded one or more of his gold digger bimbos.

Tiger brought flowers and assorted other little presents for all the girls for Valentine's Day.

Soon they were joined by Sarah and her masked friend. The five of them got comfortable at the sunken full-service bar with seating for six.

"Tiger, are you impressed with this suite?" Elin inquired.

"I've seen better," he snapped, looking bored. "I'm more interested in seeing some tits. How about it, Josefin and Sarah? Free those puppies!"

"What about me?" Elin asked, frowning.

"Same old, same old. But maybe the masked man here wants to see them. How about it, masked man? What should I call you, anyway?"

The masked man nodded and replied in a voice he attempted to disguise. "Your wife is hot. Sure I'd like to see her tits, and a lot more. You can call me . . . uh . . . Chief. I mean, I am wearing a Barack Obama mask, big ears and all."

Elin and Tiger suddenly engaged in a profanity-laced argument, with Tiger using most of the bad words, the same ones he uses on the golf course. Josefin and Sarah snuck away to a nearby sofa and whispered sweet nothings to one another as they got real friendly real fast. Soon the two discarded all their clothing except for their panties.

Sarah began to moan as her nipples hardened, due to Josefin kissing her passionately and nibbling her ears and neck. Josefin gently pushed her down on her back and slipped her hand down Sarah's panties. After a few minutes, Josefin removed her hand. "Look, my fingers are glistening," she said with a very serious expression. And then she licked them. "Your love juice is delicious, girlfriend. Can I call you girlfriend? I know, we just met, but I really lick . . . er . . . I mean like you." Sarah nodded. "Would you like some sweet soulful sex, or do you want it fast and furious? I bet you want me to eat you like an animal. Yeah, like maybe a tiger."

"I don't do that!" Tiger shouted. "Who knows where the pussy I'm used to has been. But I do like to watch somebody else yodel in the canyon. I hate fish!"

Josefin removed Sarah's panties with her teeth. "So what do you want, Sarah? Tell me. Beg."

"Eat me, Josefin. Please? Eat me!"

Tiger kept staring at what was going on and quit yelling at Elin. "Now that's what I'm fucking talking about! Go for it, Josefin! Go down on that little red muff!"

Josefin nudged her head toward where Sarah wanted it, her pleasure zone. She kissed and licked the inside of Sarah's thighs and nuzzled her neatly-trimmed little red bush. Then she lifted Sarah's legs over her shoulders and really went to work, tongue-fucking Sarah enthusiastically. When Sarah was nice and juicy, Josefin started to lick her clit from left to right. Then up and down. First slow. Then fast. Slow. Fast. Slow. Fast.

"Mmm . . . mmm," Sarah moaned softly at first, and then she got louder. "So good . . . ahhhh . . . ohhhh . . . so good . . . s-o-o-o good . . . oh yeah . . ."

"Damn, this is hot!" Tiger roared in approval. He had his big black cock out of his pants. He turned to Elin and demanded, "Get over here, bitch, and suck my dick like my girlfriends do." He stood and pulled her down to her knees in front of him.

"Okay, this is part of your Valentine's Day present," Elin conceded, "but don't expect me to do this other than on special occasions if we get back together.

"Just suck it, bitch!" he screamed. "If you would have given me a blow job like I wanted that night, I wouldn't have driven off in a huff and had that accident. It was all your fault. Now tickle your tonsils with my python of pleasure. Hey girls," he called over to Josefin and Sarah, "do I have a big black dick or what? Elin can only get half of my monster in her mouth." The girls ignored him as they were totally engrossed in their own activities.

"You like this, do you?" Josefin paused briefly to ask Sarah demurely.

"Please don't talk, Josefin. Don't talk, please? Do that some more! Please, baby, please? Don't torture me so. I need to cum really bad!"

"You are such a fucking slut, Sarah," Josefin joked. "Okay, I'll finish your hot hungry pussy off and make it happy, but only if you promise to do me like I'm doing you."

"I promise, I promise! Now eat me, Josefin, please eat me!" Sarah pushed Josefin's head back down on her. Josefin began to suck her clit softly. "Oh yeah . . . ohhhh. A little harder, Josefin, just a little harder. Oh . . . I want it so bad . . . oh yeah. Harder! Faster! That's it . . . I'm . . . oh God . . . I . . . ahhhhhhh . . . ohhhhhhh . . ."

Sarah's body exploded fantastically, her entire being spasmodically reacting to Josefin's hold on her little love button.

Then they switched positions and Sarah did Josefin like she had been done.

Meanwhile Elin had continued sucking Tiger but couldn't get him to cum.

Tiger called out, "Now that you two horny muff divers have finished off each other, how about helping out Elin with this blow job?"

"I will!" Sarah readily agreed. She approached Tiger and gently pushed Elin away. "Let me show you how a professional does it. You can get all this big black dick down your throat if you know how to do it right." She wiggled Tiger's cock playfully.

Sarah cupped Tiger's balls with her left hand as she concentrated on his cock with her right hand and mouth. In and out slowly at first and then gradually faster. He started moaning and pulling her head down on him, wanting to get all of it down her throat. "Oh baby, you are one great cock sucker," Tiger complimented. "Pay attention, Elin!"

"Okay, Tiger honey, fuck my mouth," Sarah urged. "Bend your knees slightly and thrust as I go all the way down on you." He did. Her hands went behind him and played with his butt, pushing her fingers gently in and out of his hole as she titled her head at just the right angle and pushed her nose against his bush, making all of his big black cock disappear. And then she shook her head vigorously like a rag dog as she deep-throated him.

Sarah started to gag and choke a bit as Tiger plunged deeper and deeper, as if he were even trying to get his balls in her mouth. She stopped struggling and let him have her throat, and even held her mouth open with her fingers so he could fuck it easier.

"Stop!" Elin commanded as she tore Sarah away from Tiger's cock.

"What the fuck?" Tiger protested angrily.

"Tiger, you always wanted to fuck me in the ass, right?"

"But you always said no, Elin. Rachel and Jaimee and Theresa and Veronica and Holly and Kalika and Cori and Mindy and all the others let me fuck them in the ass. But I'd still like to take your virgin ass and make you squeal like a stuck pig."

"How bad would you like to do that to me?" Elin purred.

"

Real

bad, honey. I'd do almost anything to stick my big black dick between your cute little white buns."

"What's good for the goose is good for the gander."

"Huh?"

"I'll let you do me like that, if you let Sarah do you like that with her strap-on."

"I dunno about that. Sounds a little gay to me."

"Tiger, you wanted kinky, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Oh . . . okay. Why not. Chuck told me he once let a babe do his fat ass with a strap-on. Said he kind of liked it, although he couldn't take a shit for three days."

"To make it even kinkier, we'll do it at the same time. You fuck me in the ass while Sarah fucks you in the ass."

Sarah interjected, "I make my victims wear a blindfold when I'm giving them a doodie shoot. I cuff their hands behind their backs so they can't fight me, and I can hold them by the cuffs so they can't pull away. That's the only way I'm doing it. Why, before I came up with that, one dude actually smacked me because he said I hurt him. Tiger can't smack me if he's cuffed."

"See how kinky that sounds, Tiger?" Elin cooed.

"Well then, you get blindfolded and handcuffed too," Tiger insisted.

"I'd love too," she replied.

"Hey, what about me?" Josefin complained.

"You slide under me on your back legs first and I'll eat you while Tiger is fucking my ass," Elin offered.

"But you're not a lesbian," Josefin responded incredulously.

"No, but I must be a latent bisexual," Elin replied matter-of-factly. "You and Sarah doing each other got me real hot and horny. My goodness, I had no idea!"

Sarah fetched her "professional" equipment from her bag. They got into position handcuffed and with the blindfolds on as Sarah orchestrated things. Elin was on all fours on the plush rug. Tiger was behind her and Sarah was behind him. Josefin was given the assignment of applying the lube and "prepping" the participants before she slid under Elin.

"Okay, here comes the lube," Josefin advised. "I'm going to lube up your heiny hole, Elin. Yours too, Tiger, and your big black cock and Sarah's big blue cock. Well, it's not as big as yours Tiger. Lube, we need plenty of lube."

"Hey Josefin, you're a lawyer, right?" Sarah asked.

"Yes, I am. Why?"

"A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal intercourse, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea. The doc asked, 'Do you enjoy it?' She admitted that she did. He asked, 'Does it hurt you?' She said no. The doctor then told her, 'Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal intercourse, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.' The woman was mystified. She asked, 'You can get pregnant from anal sex?' The doc replied, 'Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?' Funny, huh?"

"No, that's not funny, Sarah," Josefin griped. "But I sure would like you to fuck me with that strap-on when you're done doing Tiger. Not in the ass, though."

"I'll fuck you!" Tiger beamed.

"You're going to like this so much, Tiger, you'll want her to fuck you." Sarah responded with a lewd smirk.

Soon they were frantically playing their prescribed role in this orgiastic endeavor. Josefin was screaming in pleasure. Elin was screaming in pain. Tiger was just grunting every time Sarah thrust the big blue silicone dick deep inside him. Sarah was yelling something about taming the Tiger.

Suddenly Sarah pulled her dick out of Tiger's asshole momentarily. "Just going to put some more lube on it," she whispered in his ear. He barely noticed as he was intent on pounding Elin's pooper mercilessly for all the trouble she had caused him.

"Hey, that feels different," Tiger commented as he felt a dick in his back door once again."

"Oh, I attached a different dong to the harness," Sarah replied. "It's smaller but feels more real due to being made of a revolutionary new type of silicone."

The action resumed. Tiger pumped Elin's ass faster and harder as she wailed like a banshee. Finally he blew his wad as he yelled even more offensive vulgarities.

"Oh man, that was good for me!" Tiger raved. "Was it good for you, Elin? Okay Sarah, you can pull your dick out of my ass now." But the thrusts in his behind became even harder now. Suddenly he heard a loud grunt behind him that sounded masculine and felt a strange sensation inside him, like some sort of fluid.

"You have no idea how fucking good this is for me, Tiger," Elin muttered sarcastically.

Sarah took off his blindfold. Elin already had hers off. Tiger looked behind him.

The one known only as Chief ripped off his mask and grinned manically as he held his still spurting cock in his hand and let it finish on Tiger's backside.

"Oh my fucking God!" Tiger screamed in shock. "Lefty! It's you!"

"Your ass is finally mine!" Phil snarled.

"You better leave before I take his handcuffs off," Sarah cautioned.

Phil put his pecker back in his pants, and exited the scene hurriedly.

"Just leave him handcuffed," Elin ordered. "We'll all leave, but him. Somebody from the hotel will eventually come to his rescue. "Tiger, you will hearing from my lawyers soon. You agree to my financial demands, which are now in the billions not millions, and your buddies won't be seeing the video of you getting fucked in the ass by the competition. I wonder what Chuck and Michael would say to that, 'eh?" She laughed and laughed and laughed. Josefin and Sarah merely giggled uncontrollably.

* * *

Elin decided to give up men until the divorce was final and concentrate on exploring her bisexual tendencies. Josefin and Sarah of course agree to assist her with regard to this matter. The three soon embarked on a series of exotic vacations where the principal sightseeing adventures involved what was between each other's legs.

Elin never went public with the video, but Phil squealed to all his golfing buddies. Tiger became the butt of many 19th-hole jokes.

* * *

Author's Note: This story is entered in the Valentine's Day Contest and your vote and feedback such as public comments is greatly appreciated. If you list me as one of your favorite authors, you can easily tell when I have new stories.