ll of the following is complete and total fiction. Not a word of it occurred, nor would it.
Swords, Sorcery, & Sex: The Impossible Tower starring Elizabeth Gillies
(MF, cons)
by MrMaxLord
Author's Note
:
This is a slightly edited version of a story I had done earlier on another site. As I'm bringing over a lot of stuff I've done previously, I decided to tighten some of it up and change a few things. In this case, it's just changing one name to a different one. Other previous work might have more extreme edits but this is just a wee one.
The thieves didn't realize that the name "The Impossible Tower" was quite so literal, but upon entrance both Liz Gillies and Renan Voleur looked up and all around and found it to be exactly that. While there definitely was some sort of platform above the pair saw no way to actually get up there. All they saw were several torches that drove back just enough to beat back the darkness that blanketed the surroundings outside the tower.
However, the surprise at just how literally the tower was named didn't last too long. Renan looked to the buxom brunette.
"I'm going to guess you have a better idea then feeling around the wall for the right stone to press?" he asked. Of course, Liz had an answer.
"Have you forgotten who you're working with?" she asked while wearing her trademark cocky smirk. She reached into the pouch she wore on her side and took out a hand full of powder that seemed to sparkle brighter than the torches that sparsely lit up the room. The brunette blew into her palm and the effervescent dust flew off her hand swirled around the room, hugging the walls before finally settling on one that was right behind Renan. "Would you look at that, a nice and shiny button just waiting to be pressed."
Renan nodded at the blue-eyed beauty and walked towards where the powder had settled. The piece of the stone wall almost looked normal without the crackling sparkle the powder provided. However, there was a bit of an indentation to it, showing it had received a bit more attention than the rest. He pressed down on the presumed button to find it was less presumption and more fact. A spiral staircase emerged from the ground in a way that almost appeared like it was growing like a tree.
In matter of moments a spiraling path upward was formed, however both Renan and Liz knew it wasn't going to be that easy.
"Now it's time for my trick," he said, for Renan had a pouch of his own and within it was a tiny wooden box. He opened it to reveal a crystal clear sphere with a few things floating in it. Not suspended, but floating. A tooth, a tuft of hair and other such biological trinkets were contained in this sphere of liquid. The dashing rogue whispered a phrase of ancient Elvish of kind Liz had never heard before to the liquid sphere before letting it fall to the floor. Instead of a splat however, it landed like a cat and soon after began to form a more humanoid shape. Just as quickly as the staircase had risen so had this homunculus, just to about bust high on Elizabeth.
The crystal-clear, jellied simulacrum sprinted up the stairs, activating a series of traps. Arrows, darts, blades of all shapes and sizes shot at the unliving thing with zero effect, no barrier from keeping it from getting to the top. With the traps triggered, the thieves made their way up the stairs, making it just in time to watch the humanoid return to it's spheroid shape. Their eyes also took in what was on this high-up platform, and the sights only added to the descriptor of "impossible".
The tower seem to go on even further but there were no more floors seen, just an inky blackness that supposedly ended where the roof went. The floor they were on seem much more pedestrian. Bookshelves filled to the brim with tomes, some of which just had to be forbidden. There was a table with beakers and and assorted chemicals just waiting for an alchemist to come along and make it complete.
And right in the center of it all, on a pedestal, rested the object the duo had been called upon to steal. To the naked eye it would appear to simply be a ruby, albeit a large one around the size of a grapefruit. Of course once if one were to get close to it that would start to believe it was sparkling from within. Even closer and one would say it was churning and swirling within as well.
Of course, that meant it wasn't a simple gemstone. This was the infamous Devil's Heart, an enchanted and ancient stone that was the dream of many a witch, wizard, enchanter, warlock and necromancer and not a one of them could really be trusted with it. Which was where Renan and Liz came in. They were hired by a party who had great interest in keeping the stone away from those who could get the most use out of it in potentially the most devastating way possible.
Both Liz and Renan took out golden talisman encrusted with emerald runes and walked a complete circle around where the pedestal stood, chanting another Elvish phrase(one in a tongue they both knew this time) until they both had made a full revolution.
"No enchantments on it," Liz said. "And it's just sitting there on a silk pillow too good to be true."
"Yeah, far too good to be true," agreed Renan. "But here we are. You want to do the grab or shall I?"
"Be my guest," Liz said, backing away. With that, Renan began to get himself ready for the grab. The only angle he didn't have a view of was the obvious one, that being whatever was underneath the ruby. He shrugged and quickly grabbed the ruby to find nothing underneath but the cushion it rested upon.
"That was disturbingly easy," Renan said. "We should run now before we find out why."
"I knew you were more than good looks," Liz said before the two started sprinting down the stairs. Of course, both of their doubts were proven to be correct when the ground started rumbling so furiously the both nearly fell the rest of the way down. When they burst out the door they saw why as it emerged from behind the Impossible Tower.
It was a large, wyrm like creature and could have in fact been mistaken for such a dragon if not for the way the metal pieces caught the moonlight. It was a contraption that looked like it could have come straight from the Ferrolands, especially with the steam ports covering the back.
The two paused for a moment, fear struck as they took the visage of the mechanical creature in full.
"Well it's definitely not magic," Renan said.
"What makes you say that?"
"Our talisman's would have picked up something that size that needed an enchantment to be mobile."
"Good point," she agreed. "Which means whatever is fueling it isn't going to last long."
"So, my thought?", Renan said. "Just keep running right into that field of high grass over there for however long it takes for it to retreat or just fall out of the sky like a boulder."
"Read my mind." The two began a made sprint to the tall grass with the booming bionic beast behind them.
