Swagg Pimpin' Sex Parody
On the patio outside my penthouse suite at the Beverly Hills Hotel. Lighting a blunt. Smoking, looking at the pool party downstairs. All nude and shit... swaggin'... hangin' 10 thick. Hands on the rail, smoke in the air.
What's next Dick? What about those lame ass hoes that talk shit on Literotica? Who's gettin' swagg pimped next? God damn I'm horny... where's my bitch at?
"There you are sweetie. I was wondering where you went." Penny (from The Big Bang Theory) walks out... wearing only a pink and white bandana around her head and a white cotton hotel towel. She kisses my cheek and stands beside me.
"Sweetie... you're all comfy huh? Showing off that gorgeous cock of yours." Penny reaches down and strokes my dick. I smoke and watch the people partying.
"Just thinkin' about life. A lot of shit to deal with... gonna start fresh and drop the lame shit that's been eating away at me. Time for me to be me and show these motherfuckers who Dick The Motherfucking Pimp really is. No rules... no BS... no fucks given. Swagg out with my big ass cock out. Pimp of Pimps."
"That's right baby... you're the motherfucking king. The Pimp of Pimps. Swagged out with that gorgeous cock out sweetie." Penny wants me. She takes her towel off. I look over her hot ass body.
We spend the next half hour fucking right there on the patio...the people at the pool looking up and cheering us on. Penny's bent over the rail, my 10 inches buried in her bald, pussy cum coated snatch. I grab her bandana, pull it and force fuck her pussy mercilessly. My crotch slaps her ass and thighs hard, each time I thrust hard up her pussy, driving all 10 thick inches up her sweet snatch.
"FCUKKKKKKKKKK...POUND MY PUSSY SWEETIE... I'M YOUR BITCH... USE ME DADDY!!"
Penny squirts like a fountain, all over my impaling cock and out onto my big, meaty balls. I also her right tit, as it hangs down, jiggling from the pussy pounding I'm giving her.
"YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" Penny squirts again.i pull out, watch her pussy jizz shoot out, then I SLAM back up her snatch,all the damn way. I fuck that sweet pussy supersonics fast, my cock flying at hyper speed in and out, my crotch slapping that perfect ass each fucking time I thrust in.
I twist and pull her rubbery, hard, pink nipples. I twist them as hard as possible. Penny screams out in pleasurable pain. I pull the nipples, then shake them as fast as possible. "OH MY GODDDDDDDDD...YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!" Penny loves it all. She blasts out another load of pussy cum, right as I fill her pounded out cunt full of my cock cream.
"FUCK!! FILL MY PUSSY WITH YOUR CUM SWEETIE...I FUCKING LIVE YOUR BIG COCK!!" Penny gasps for air, worn out sexually.
We kiss... our tongues fucking. I slap and squeeze those sweet 32C titties, as they onlookers at the pool applaud and whistle for our performance. We wave. I stand next to the railing and start pissing. My piss rains down from above. The partiers cheer. I smirk. "Oh my God babe. Your pissing all over them and they love it. Oh my God. I love LA."
"So do I baby do... so the fuck do I." I raise my left arm, as the people cheer, and keep pissing from the penthouse. You gotta love the crazy, drunk ass, partying motherfuckers in LA.
I'm staying in the Beverly Hills Hotel while my new pad in Beverly Hills is being remodeled. The pimp life pays very well... especially mine. I brought in 4 mil last week alone. You see, I'm a celebrity pimp. I pimp a non famous ho from time to time... or just for the hell of it, but usually it's movie stars, pop stars and WWE sluts for me. I made 50 Gs from Sasha Banks yesterday. A judge wanted to dip his old vanilla stick in her sweet milk chocolate, so I set it up. I got my assistant Spence (from The King of Queens) to film it, so I could watch it... and put it on my website... with a little editing to cover the judge's face.
Later in the day...
"Damn Dick... you can do some blow babe." My drug buddy, former pornstar turned comedienne Alia Janine says, watching me snort two 8 balls. I watch her snort one off of my body... from my chest down to my cock.
"Sexy slut. Snort that shit." Alia smiles up at me and shirts her way down to my cock head. She licks it, then sucks it. She bobs her dark brown haired head, as she blows me, suctioning her wet lips tightly up and down my ten inches. Five minutes later, I blow my wad in her mouth. I fill Alia's slutty mouth with my cock cream. She happily gulps it all down.
I pimp Alia too. Twenty five Gs for a titty fuck or blowjob. Thirty for anal. Forty for the full experience. My rates for my hoes vary.
A few other of my hoes... Courteney Cox 250 to 500 Gs... Jennifer Aniston 500 to a million... Tyra Banks 500 to a million... Courtney Love 40 to 50 Gs... Jenna Jameson 50 to 100 Gs... Mariah Carey 400 to 750 Gs. I have a lot of other hoes. I have a Kardashian family rate of 2 to 5 mil for the sisters... except Kim, she's mine... and the mother. I wouldn't even consider pimpin' Kim for less than 10 mil... I've had several offers that high.
I pimp my girl Penny on special occasions. 25 K for a bj... an will cost ya 50 K. She's got the sweetest ass.
Later that night...
I'm hanging out... smoking, doing some blow, and drinking with my girl Penny and my assistant Spence (from The King of Queens). Penny is mostly wasted. Spence has only smoked and drank a little... He's too scared to do coke.
After about an hour of convincing, I get him to snort a small line. I laugh at the nerdy motherfucker. He's so timid sometimes, it's funny as hell. He's always nervous. It gets on my nerves, but he's a good lackey, so I keep him around.
Penny's looking smoking hot as usual. She's got on a pink, skimpy, two piece, thong bikini and pink stripper pumps. She's got her long blonde hair in braids, aka Bo Derek in the movie 10. She's also got on the pink and white bandana from earlier. Damn... Penny is a hot bitch... for fucks sake.
Spence and I have on our swim trunks. I've also got on my SWAGG PIMPIN' gold and diamond studded chain. Always swagged out.
We smoke and drink some more. Penny is horny and wasted. We make out, while Spence finishes the blunt. My fucking phone rings. I ignore it. It keeps ringing and I keep ignoring it, feeling up Penny, as she puts her hand in my trunks and jerks me off.
I get a text. It's from a big client... a seven figure one. He's hiring the Kardashians again. He did last week. This time he wants a gangbang with his rich friends. Damn... that's a five million dollar job. Fuck yeah! Only problem is he wants a meeting while he's in town... he's from Vegas. I decide to put off fucking Penny, so I can meet the rich, old businessman and get that 5 mil.
"Sorry babe, but business calls. A big job. I'll be back as soon as I can."
"Ahhhhhh... Damn Dick... I'm horny."