Swagg Pimpin 101

This is a parody... It is not real

This story stars: Gretchen Carlson and Christy Canyon

***

I had started a new satellite radio show called... Swagg Pimpin' 101 with DICKTHEPIMP... I was looking to branch out of my pimp world and maybe reach a broader audience and hey, they threw me some nice coin, so I decided to try it. It's cool. Easy work, I just show up, be myself and talk sex. The show was doing very well and the higher ups at Sirius/XM were happy. They left me alone and let me do my show, my way. I was grateful for that, because that's how the king pimp rolls and it was the only way I was gonna do the show anyway.

My show from earlier today was a real good show. My guests were former Miss America Gretchen Carlson and good friend and porn icon Christy Canyon. Christy was the second porn chick I hooked up with, back in the day. We've been friends since the 80's and she lovesssssssss to bust my balls, about pretty much everything. The show went real well, oh yeah...

"WELCOME EVERYBODYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY, to the home of swagg pimp style, Swagg Pimpin' 101. I'm Dirty Di, producer extraordinaire and Big Dick's sidekick. Here's the host with the absolute most. The man. The myth. The legend himself. The king pimp... DICK... THE... PIMP!!" My producer Diane with the awesome intro. Back in Black by AC/DC playing in the background.

"Well thank you Dirty Di. You rock baby." I winked at her, through the glass.

"You're always welcome papi." She blew me a kiss.

"I wanna welcome our guests, to our little sex spectacular here. My first guest is an actual Miss America and very lovely, as well. Please welcome, the Head of the Miss America Foundation... Gretchen Carlson." She sat across from me looking so damn good. A very tight, black turtleneck shirt and very short, black leather mini skirt. Black stockings and black heels rounded out her outfit. Her shoulder length blonde hair framed her sexy face nicely. Her lips glistened with cherry red, wet lipstick. She has such kissable lips, they looked so luscious and tempting.

"Thank you Dick, it's a pleasure to be here. It's not my normal type of show to do, but I wanna reach out to as big of an audience as possible, with our message of respect. We want to empower women and help them realize they can always, Be Fierce." She smiled at me, a little uncomfortable with my format, but she appreciated our talk we had, before the show. I put her at ease. I have the ability to talk to women and get them to relax and wanna talk to me.

"Nice book plug there, at the end. You're a smart businesswoman... and a beautiful one too." I smiled at her. She smiled back, moving those luscious lips slightly. Those beautiful eyes and C cup natural breasts drawing in my attention and causing my cock to twitch, as well. She has such a sexy body. She poked out her chest for me, knowing I was staring at her beautiful breasts. Her top was so thin and tight, I could see the whole imprint of her bra and even her nipples as well. She was an experienced cock tease, I could tell. She obviously wanted me to pay close attention to her message.

My other guest is a long time, longggggggggggg time, good friend and a sexy ass porn icon, the one and only Ms Christy Canyon... and her amazing tits." We laughed. She came over, holding my face in her hands and gave me a big ass kiss. Then she rubbed those awesome, very big, natural funbags all over my face. I motorboated them and kissed them through her gray tee shirt and bra, smacking her ass. She had on a light brown leather jacket, tight jeans and uggs boots, as well. Her long, thin brown hair flowed perfectly down her back. I looked over at Gretchen and she looked a little uncomfortable, so I winked at her. She smiled a sweet smile and I smiled back.

Christy sat in my lap, her arms around my neck and we started the interview like that. "What's with the longggggggggggggg? Are you trying to say I'm old?" Christy started in with the ballbusting.

"Welllllllllllllll..." I smirked back. She smacked my face, softly and looked shocked and offended. We always have fun messing with each other. She looked great. She kept rubbing her right tit on my chest, as she sat in my lap. My 10 inches was half hard in my pants and she rubbed her ass on it. Such a sexy fucking tease.

"Let me tell you about this one Gretchen. I've known Dick since '84, right after I did my first scene. He's been perving on me ever since. Watch him, don't turn your back on him and definitely don't bend over." I shook my head. The ballbusting continuing. "Did he tell you, that I proposed to him and he turned me down? Or that he used to bang all the porn chicks and never call us back? I'm so broken up about it." She lowered her head and fake cried. I slid a finger in the back of her jeans and slid it up her ass. She jumped, slightly, in my lap and looked at me. She squeezed my face in her hand and softly smacked it, but winked also, giving me a small kiss on my lips.

"Did you know he used to be my pimp too, Gretchen? He's a bad, bad, bad, bad boy...and he makes me feel so good." Christy laughed and kissed my cheek. She got up, went to her seat and sat down. She blew me a kiss and shook those awesome tits for me.

"I've been meaning to ask you Dick, are you really a pimp?" Gretchen asking me, the most asked question.

"Yes Gretchen, I admit to that... And to fucking the porn chicks... but I did call them back... even Christy." I winked at Christy. She pulled her tee shirt up and flashed me her bra encased tits. I rubbed my cock under the table. I waved for Christy to come back to my lap and she did. She sat back down on me, grinding her sexy ass on my now fully hard 10 inches. I reached around and squeezed those absolutely perfect, very big, natural cans of Christy's, through her top and bra. I love her tits. I love playing with them. They feel so fucking good, so soft and with good weight to them.

"So Gretchen, tell our audience, about your mission, with the Miss America Foundation." I pulled Christy's pants and thong off, pulled my hard cock out and slid it up her beautiful, brown hair runway topped pussy. I bounced her on my cock, as I listened to Gretchen and watched her shocked grin, as she watched me fuck Christy.

"Well Dick, we are looking to present women in a more powerful and respectful light. We want men to be able to look past our bodies and focus on our intellectual merit and what we stand for. That's why we ended the swimsuit competition at the Miss America pageant. It's about who we are and what we stand for, instead of how we look in a swimsuit." I listened to Gretchen, as Christy rode my big cock and moaned loudly into the mic. She leaned back into me and kissed my cheek, as I rubbed her clit. I was so fucking horny. I looked over at a smiling Gretchen. She's more beautiful than I thought. Those supple, wet lips with that bright red, thick lipstick. I could see her nipples were rock hard. She pushed her tits together and smiled at me, so I knew she was a party chick, new Miss America image or not.

I decided to get right to the point. "We are gonna get everything together in here while you guys listen to a couple of ads from our sponsors. We will be right back. " I told the audience and told my producer Diane to bring in her sex gimp. He's a big, old guy named Ed. Dirty Di pegs him and dominates him. She brings him in, for the show, regularly. Diane and Ed came in the studio. Diane is hot, it's one of the reasons I hired her. She's 28, Puerto Rican, has 36 E natural tits and the smoothest and sexiest brown skin ever. She has a gorgeous thick ass as well and my cock loves banging it, every chance I get. Ed is big. He's my height, 6'3, fat and hairy, with gray hair. He's 69 and has the sexual energy of someone half his age.

Gretchen just looked around in shock. I think Ed, in his light blue, full latex bodysuit and dog collar around his neck, caught her off guard. Christy bounced hard on my cock. She rubbed her clit and rode me like the sex crazed nympho she is. I pulled her very big, natural juggs out of her blue satin bra and pulled her brown nipples as far as possible, shaking them hard and releasing them. They popped back into place and I pinched them hard. She rode me with blazing speed, flying up and down on my throbbing manmeat. Christy squirted on my big cock in her pussy, as I squeezed those perfect tits of hers and shook them really hard.

"Wha... What's going on here?" Gretchen asked nervously. I just got right to the fucking point.

"It's a sex show babe were fucking and sucking." She looked at me amazed that I would be so blunt.

"That's not why I'm here Dick. I can't do this. I'm married and I'm not a slut." She kept looking around... and more importantly... her nipples were rock fucking hard, poking through her thin top.

"Well Gretchen, you can just watch. Judging by your very hard nipples, you would enjoy that." I put her on the spot. She folded her arms to cover her nipples. I smiled, as I pumped Christy's sexy, wet pussy with my huge, thick load of jizz. Gretchen smiled back, still pretending to be shocked. I think she was just putting on a shocked act to keep up her sweet, ultra professional side for the Miss America people. I tested my theory and was proven right.

"Were back everybody and Dirty Di is pegging old Ed here. Christy is sucking my cock clean, after I just came in her pussy and Gretchen is watching all the action, wishing she was getting fucked." I winked at her.

"I'm not... I never said that... I can't be here Dick, I'm sorry I need to leav..." Dirty Di pulled her huge rubber cock out of Ed's ass, and shoved it in Gretchen's gorgeous mouth. She fucked it really fast, stunning Gretchen, who just sat there while her mouth was violated by that huge strapon. Di grabbed her short, platinum blonde hair and fucked her mouth. I watched, and so did Christy, who was sucking my big cock totally clean.

"Look at me bitch! Look at me, as I fuck that sexy mouth PUTA!!" Gretchen didn't know what to do, so she obeyed. She looked up at Dirty Di with those gorgeous eyes. "Ed you PUTA, come here!" Ed stood beside Dirty Di. She stroked his 7 inch thick cock. She jerk Ed it really fast, as she fucked Gretchen's mouth. Ed moaned, and Diane jerked it faster and faster. Ed knew not to cum unless Dirty Di allowed him to. She loved teasing him. She jerked his old cock with blazing speed, her sexy hand flying on his shaft. She laughed at him and spit in his face. She shoved all the way down Gretchen's throat and pulled out of her mouth. Gretchen gagged, and her saliva spilled out of her mouth all over the rubber cock.

"Jizz in her fucking mouth PUTA!!" She pulled his cock to Great hens mouth and jerked it very fast. Gretchen tried to protest, but Dirty Di pulled her hair. "You want it bitch, you know you do, so shut the fuck up and take it." Gretchen didn't move. She even licked around Ed's thick cock, as Dirty Di jerked him off into her mouth. She wanted the cum. She gave into her deepest darkest desires. We were gonna freak this bitch, real fucking good.

"Shoot it NOW, PUTA!!" Diane commanded and Ed obeyed, shaking and cumming in Gretchen's mouth. Gretchen sucked his cock, as Diane jerked all the old jizz out. Gretchen didn't need to be ordered to swallow it, she did that on her own, with a big smile on her sexy face. She opened her mouth wide, after she finished, showing everyone show swallowed it all. Dirty Di pulled her out of her chair and bent her over the desk, pulling Gretchen's white panties off. She pulled Ed behind Gretchen and shoved his cock up her pussy.

"Fuck her, til I tell you to stop!" Ed obeyed, slamming up Gretchen's pussy like a jackhammer. Gretchen moaned loudly and smiled at me. She licked out her tongue at me, while Ed pounded her sweet pussy so fucking hard and fast. Dirty Di came over, taking her strapon off, and sat in my lap, kissing me. She shoved my 10 inch cock up her beautiful, bald pussy. She rode it hard, kissing me, her arms around my neck. I played with her big tits, watching Ed pound Gretchen's pussy as hard as he could. Christy was on the floor, sucking my big balls, as Diane rode me. Diane rode me so fucking good, shaking her brown pussy on my white cock, as she rode it. Christy smacked her thick ass, while Dirty Di shook that pussy all over my throbbing cock.

I came up Diane's pussy, as Christy sucked my balls so fucking good. My thick, creamy load of cum filling Dirty Di's sweet Latina pussy, some even oozed out around my cock. "ED, GET OVER HERE NOW PUTA!!" She ordered. Ed pulled out of Gretchen and ran over to us. Gretchen looked disappointed, but I would make her smile shortly.

Diane got off of my cock and sat on the table next to me. She spread her labia, wiping it with a finger and licking the finger clean, smiling big at me. Ed knew what to do. He kneeled down and ate my cum out of Dirty Di's sweet brown pussy. She smiled at me the whole time. She opened her mouth, enjoying the pussy/cum eating. She held onto the chain on Ed's dog collar. He swallowed every drop. Diane rewarded him for the good job. She pulled him up and slid his leaking cock up her pussy. Ed fucked her hard and fast as she moaned, looking at me the whole time. She loved fucking him. She fucks him and lets him fuck her. He doesn't get to fuck her everyday, but when she's in a good mood she lets him pound her holes...after she pounds his.

I watched, as Christy sucked my cock. She licked all the way down the shaft and back up, spitting on it and licking it off. She sucked the head hard and jacked the shaft fast, then deepthroated my whole cock. "Gretchen get the fuck over here and suck my big balls bitch!" I ordered and she happily obeyed. She ran over to me and got on her knees, looking up at me. She sucked my big balls into her mouth, licking them as she sucked them. I watched as Dirty Di smacked Ed's face and spit on it, while he pounded her pussy hard. She pulled him out and leaned over, sucking his throbbing cock hard. She sucked him so fucking good, working her beautiful, long brown hair head all over that cock. Just as he grunted to cum, she bit down on his cock. She loved cum denial with Ed. She held her mouth on his cock. Ed yelled, but took it. She was his boss. He was her property.

She pulled her mouth off of his cock and laughed, as his old cock twitched rapidly, precum pouring out of it. She licked it up, with her long, talented tongue. Once she lapped it all up. She spit it on his face. She licked her lips clean, smacking them. "Not bad old man...but not good enough bitch!" Diane laughed. She leaned over and slowly licked up some precum and swallowed it. She loves precum and cum. She's a ballbusting dominatrix, but she also loves to fuck and suck... and swallow. She licked the rest up and spit it back in his face again. She laughed loudly. I dig her.

Christy and Gretchen were both on their knees sucking my cock, and it felt great. I looked at Gretchen's beautiful mouth fly up and down my shaft, and my cock twitched. She could suck cock. She and Christy sucked me for 10 more minutes, as I watched Ed pound Dirty Di's ass, as she screamed and moaned, loving every second of her slave pounding her thick ass. Just as he would grunt, she would stop him, not letting him cum. She repeated it over and over. I finally cam in Gretchen and Christy's mouths. I filled both two times apiece. They swallowed every drop and sucked me totally dry.

Dirty Di pulled Ed out of her ass and let him cum on her stomach. She got Christy to lick it up and she and Christy kissed. They cum swapped his old cum pulling it out of their mouths and sucking it in, kissing. They smiled at me and kept playing with the cum. They spit it in Ed's face and laughed. They both licked their lips and kissed again, swallowing what was left in their mouths.

We fucked for another two hours. Ed and I double fucked Gretchen's tight ass. Dirty Di swallowed my thick load and Gretchen swallowed Ed's. All three ladies pissed on Ed, as he laid on the floor. I got Gretchen to lick him clean, licking up all of their piss. She smiled at me the whole time. She swallowed my piss, not spilling a drop, smiling the whole time. I pissed in her ass, as I fucked it, while we watched Christy fuck Ed in the ass, while he ate my cum out of Dirty Di's ass. I had just fucked it. We all pissed on Gretchen's face. Gretchen laid on the floor and ate cream cheese out of Christy's pussy. Gretchen rode Ed's cock in her ass, while she kissed Christy, as I fucked her ass and Diane sucked my balls. It was a great day. Gretchen gave me her number. We get together once or twice a week and fuck at my place. I always fuck her ass and she swallows my cum and piss. She loves it all.

Gretchen is a hot piece of ass and so is Christy and Diane. I love freak fucking all three, it's all good. It's... Swagg Pimpin' 101.