Survivor: Celebrity Milf Island

This story was inspired by a suggestion of a Literotica member, as well as an episode of "30 Rock," in which the characters produced an episode of MILF Island. This story has a substantial element of mature (young men with older women) as well as CFNM, but with the MILF celebrities and the references to the television series, it belongs in the celebrity section. The fantasy is over the top but, in my opinion, that's what makes fantasies so much fun, particularly those concerning celebrities. The story is a bit long, but it is readily read in separately demarcated sections.

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The Fox Broadcasting Company had been tremendously pleased with their critically acclaimed and enormously successful reality show, "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?" However, the CBS Survivor series continued to outstrip them with respect to ratings for a reality show. After quite a bit of review, piloting, customer advisory councils, and focus group analyses, they felt they had come up with a viable alternative to the CBS Survivor series. It would be Survivor: Celebrity MILF Island.

Bob Saget, the host of the new series, began the first episode with a very long joke about the Aristocrats and then proceeded to the matter at hand. Bob gleefully and proudly announced to the camera, "Welcome viewers to a new and improved Survivor!" He was standing on the beach of a very beautiful tropical island. "Today we begin a grueling series of challenges to determine who will survive..." He paused for dramatic impact, and then added, "Celebrity MILF Island!"

He strode to another location on the beach, not for any purpose other than to allow his announcement to slowly sick in, letting the viewers contemplate and wonder if they had in fact really understood what was just said.

"Yes, you heard me correctly: Celebrity MILF Island. We have with us five virile young men from leading colleges across our great country, representing Harvard, Livingston, St. Mary, Abberville and, of course, Templeton. Each student is eighteen years old, as the task before them will require not only the health, strength and vigor of youth but also the maturity, constraint, and discipline of adulthood. The challenges before them will be severe, certainly more grueling and taxing than has ever appeared on any other survivor series, on any channel, in any country."

Saget moved to another location of the beach, allowing the viewing audience to ponder what those challenges might be.

"Of course, you might have guessed that the challenges will have something to do with women; lovely mature women, and you would be correct. And, these will not be just ordinary women. We have brought together celebrity stars of television, music, athletics, film, and, of course, the adult film industry. Our primary requirement is that she be at least 40 years old and, of course, very attractive. I think you will see that we have chosen well; very well indeed."

He smiled knowingly and strode closer to the camera. He knew that the audience would be leaning forward in their chairs and couches, wondering whom these women would be.

"But first, a word from our sponsors."

After what seemed, and perhaps in fact was, five minutes of commercials, including an ad for a birth control pill with the weirdest name that had such adverse side effects as upper respiratory infection, headache, breast pain, vaginal moniliasis, leukorrhea, nausea, vaginitis, abdominal pain, flu syndrome, dysmenorrhea, moniliasis, allergic reaction, urinary tract infection, accidental injury, cystitis, tooth disorder, sore throat, infection, fever, surgery, sinusitis, back pain, emotional lability, migraine, a suspicious Papanicolaou smear, dyspepsia, rhinitis, acne, gastroenteritis, bronchitis, pharyngitis, skin disorder, intermenstrual bleeding, decreased libido, weight gain, depression, increased cough, dizziness, pain in extremity, pelvic pain, nervousness, vaginal moniliasis, vaginitis, hyperlipidemia, back pain, metrorrhagia, vaginal moniliasis, infection, pharyngitis, weight gain, arthralgia, vomiting, diarrhea, and urine abnormality. Other than that it was fine.

When the broadcast of Survivor: Celebrity MILF Island returned, the first couple of minutes was filled with a recap of what had been presented during the introduction by Saget. Then, Mr. Saget was finally back on camera, a bemused smile on his face, knowing that the audience was by now quite impatient.

"Let's introduce our celebrity guests, shall we?" He strode over to another location on the beach. "Isn't this island quite beautiful?" The camera panned slowly along the island, providing a panoramic view. It was indeed a very luscious and lovely island. The camera then returned to Bob. "But, not as beautiful, of course, as our first celebrity, voted the cutest girl in her high school, the very lovely film actress...Meg Ryan!" The screen then filled with images of scenes from Meg Ryan movies. "She has been the star of such wonderful romances as 'When Harry met Sally,' 'French Kiss,' 'Sleepless in Seattle,' 'You've Got Mail,' 'City of Angels,' and 'Amityville 3-D.'"

When he finished the list the screen filled with a current picture of Miss Ryan, smiling so sweetly at the camera with her ruby red lips, her short blond hair, her large sparkling blue eyes conveying so well her effervescent personality. The surgical touch-ups of her forehead, chin, and eyes had been money well spent. It was also quite pleasing to see that Miss Ryan was wearing a pink diaphanous baby boll with matching bikini panties. Her cunnie was hidden from view but the viewer could readily see her little white titties and pointy nipples that seemed to be as perky as her smile. "Meg Ryan is now 48 years old, which is really very difficult to believe, but it is indeed true. We have checked the birth certificates of all our contestants much, I must admit, to their dismay."

Meg could be seen rolling her eyes. She apparently could hear the voice-over.

"Our second celebrity is our youngest, 41 years old, and still in great shape, which she should be, being a gold medal athlete. Can you imagine? What female athlete, 41 years old, would you like to see compete on Celebrity MILF Island?" He gave the viewer a bit of time to think about that. "Well, I bet if I polled our audience the lady with the most votes would be..." He again paused. "She has in fact been in a couple of movies herself, including 'Scrooged' and 'Naked Gun 33 1/3'. Do you know now?" He again gave the audience the opportunity to try to guess. "Yes, that's right, the very popular, the most adorable, and the highly limber...Mary Lou Retton!"

The screen then switched to Mary Lou Retton's performance during the 1986 Summer Olympic games. Her gymnastic moves were really quite riveting, and perhaps even a bit erotic. After all, her uniform was very, very tight, and the positions were at times quite suggestive, if not revealing.

Throughout the montage Bob described her achievements."She was the first American woman ever to win a gold medal in gymnastics. She also won silver medals for team and vault, and bronze medals for uneven bars and the floor exercise. Her five medals were the most won by any athlete at the 1984 Olympics. To this day she remains the only American ever to win the Olympic 'All Around Title.' 'The Retton Flip,'" which was now displayed on the screen, "was, obviously, named after her, consisting of a transition front flip from low- to high-bar, resulting in being perched on top of the high bar."

The screen then switched to a current view of Mary Lou on the island, like Meg Ryan also wearing the pink baby doll lingerie, her right arm held up straight, waving as she had done many times during the Olympic competitions, that enthusiastic, gleeful smile gracing her face. She was indeed a sweetheart, being so diminutive (less than five feet), with equally short, perky brown hair, sparkling brown eyes, and a full teeth grin. Her breasts were even smaller than Meg's. They were really more like titties, but they did wiggle and jiggle ever so nicely as she gave her full Olympic wave.

"Our third celebrity contestant...What? Oh, I'm sorry, it's time for another short commercial break."

One could almost hear the groans of the viewers across the country, who were then tortured with this annoying guy in a pirate costume singing a silly ditty about his credit problems (for the umpteenth time); followed by a caveman who again, for the umpteenth time, gets annoyed seeing a reference to his stupidity; a pair of glasses on a pile of money (most persons had no idea what was going on there); a daughter asking her mother while they were walking on a beach, "Do you ever get, you know, that not-so-fresh feeling?"; a headache medication that you apply directly to the fore-head, apply directly to the fore-head, apply directly to the fore-head, apply directly to the fore-head, apply directly to the fore-head; two crazed looking rats (or sponge monkeys?) screeching off-key about some sub sandwiches ("We love the subs!!!, Coz they are good to us!"); a man dressed as a little lad singing in a high pitched voice how he likes berries and cream while hopping, prancing, and clapping his hands like a five year old. It just never seemed like the commercials were going to end.

When the show did finally return one had to wonder if scheduling really rotten commercials was a strategy for getting viewers to think the show is good; the contrast effect was so strong. In any case, Bob Saget asked, "Are you ready for our third celebrity contestant? I imagine you are. Well, you won't be disappointed." He strolled over to another location on the beach. "Our third celebrity was, well, really, is, a star of television. You will remember her most from her days as a child actress, so many years ago, on the very lovely and heartwarming television show that lasted nine seasons... 'Little House on the Prairie.' Yes! I am speaking about none other than...Melissa Gilbert!" The screen was then filled with pictures of Melissa as a child actress appearing on "Little House on the Prairie," but then quickly switched to pictures of her now as an adult woman.

"As you can see, Melissa is now a very lovely 45 year old woman." If one had any doubts about her credibility as an appealing MILF, the picture of her at a recent gala function with cleavage plunging all the way down to her bellybutton, displaying half of her very full and large, round, bulbous breasts, was fully convincing. Melissa Gilbert had grown up and out in spades, and she apparently was not reluctant to let you know.

"And, here she is on the island." The screen then shifted to Melissa in her baby doll nightie, her long, flowing red hair hanging so lovely across her shoulders, her light golden hazel eyes, her skin still so smooth and clear, her smile still so engaging and sweet, and then those lusciously full breasts, so clearly evident through the diaphanous pink top. Melissa even gave them a little shake with her shoulders, causing them to bounce and wiggle for the camera, perhaps for the purpose of demonstrating that they were indeed real.

Bob could be heard saying, "This MILF can definitely provide the milk."

Melissa opened her mouth in mock surprise, shock and outrage but then, to make it very clear that she really wasn't offended, she lifted up her breasts for the viewing audience, and gave them another example of her engaging smile.

The camera switched back to Bob, who said. "Yes, well," pretending to wipe some perspiration from his brow. "Our fourth celebrity contestant is an actress from the adult film industry. She starred in over 150 films. I imagine many of you saw her in such films as 'Hollywood Starlets,' 'Oral Addiction,' 'I Liked to be Watched,' 'Orifice Party,' and 'Play Christy for Me.'" Bob paused and smiled at the camera. "Oh, you're going to pretend that you've never seen any of these? Well, I am, of course, speaking of the still very lovely...Christy Canyon!" The screen then filled with images from some of her movies.

"My favorites," Bob continued, "were, of course, 'Passages' and 'Pretty in Peach.'" Scenes from those films were then broadcast. "Christy is now 43 years old and has largely retired from the adult film industry but she has graciously agreed to come out of retirement for this series and," the screen shifted to a picture of Christy in her pink baby doll,"we are very grateful and pleased that she did."

Christy Canyon was indeed still very beautiful. Her long flowing brown hair hung well onto her shoulders. She was smiling broadly, displaying her full, perfect white teeth, shining brown eyes and, perhaps most striking, her 36GG breasts, which she wiggled as well, again demonstrating for the audience that they were authentic, natural large boobs and, despite her age, were holding up extremely well. They were now a bit more oblong than round, but their full womanliness was frankly what made them all the more appealing as a MILF. She partially opened her mouth and licked her lips with a very seductively lascivious expression.

The camera switched back to Bob. "And, last but certainly not least, our final celebrity is from the music industry, country music in particular. She is our oldest participant and she is none other than..." He paused, smiling playfully at the camera, letting the anticipation build.

"Oh yes, I'm sorry. What's that?" He pretended to be listening to the director through an ear phone. He then returned his attention to the viewing audience. "Well, I'm afraid we have another brief commercial break and then we'll let you in on our final celebrity contestant!"

The viewer was then treated with an ad for a sleep medication that had such side effects as sleepwalking, eating or driving while not fully awake, memory loss for such events, being more aggressive than normal, confusion, agitation, next-day drowsiness, dizziness and headache, diarrhea, hallucinations, worsening of depression, risk of suicide, shortness of breath, swelling of tongue or throat (in some cases may be fatal) and risk of dependency. Other than that it was fine. This was followed by a cartoon of "Digger the Dermatophyte," a creepy toenail fungus monster that lifted up a person's toe nails to apply some fungus; a really thin old bald man with glasses who danced bizarrely to annoying muzac cause he's ecstatic over some amusement park; people leaning out of windows, one at a time, to yell, "It's my money and I need it now!"; and, finally, a Cuban gynecologist turned U.S. car salesman, with a stolen guard dog. Actually, the last commercial was so bad it was funny.

"Welcome back!" Bob greeted the audience upon their return to the show. "Have you been wondering who she is? I bet many of you have in fact guessed correctly. She is none other than...the vivacious, the bodacious...the bountiful and the bulbous...Dolly Parton!" The screen filmed with a series of pictures of Dolly Parton throughout her singing career.

"You do, of course, remember many of her wonderful songs, including, 'Dumb Blonde,' 'Coat of Many Colors,' 'Jolene,' 'Touch Your Woman,' 'Here You Come Again,' 'Islands in the Stream,' '9 to 5,' and 'I Will Always Love You.'" The screen switched to more current pictures. "Dolly may be a bit over 60 but she sure doesn't look a day over 40, if not 35." That was indeed very true, particularly the recent picture of her at the season four premiere screening of, most appropriately, "Nip/Tuck." The screen image switched to her on the island, waving at the camera, wearing her light pink baby doll lingerie.

Dolly was equally, if not more, ebullient and buoyant than the prior four ladies. She was also strikingly attractive, with her broad smile revealing picture perfect white teeth, her long wavy bleach blonde hair, long fake eye lashes fluttering above her pretty light brown eyes, and rosy red cheeks with the cutest dimples. She really did look no more than 40 but a lot of expensive surgery (and make-up) can do that. Of course, the most impressive feature was her breasts, which were exceedingly large; perhaps about 40DD, which appeared even more impressive as they were mounted on a very diminutive frame (no more than five feet). Those firm jugs jutted out from her like two large beach balls. Regrettably, though, Dolly's lingerie was not diaphanous and unlike the other ladies, she didn't wiggle them. They were "enhanced," and she didn't at all mind acknowledging that but there was no real need to advertise the point.

The camera came back to the host. "And, of course, we also have our fine young men from the leading colleges of this great country. Our first male contestant is... Ronald Theale from Templeton College!" The screen switched to a shot of Ron, waving politely at the camera. "Ronny, what's it like being on Celebrity MILF Island?"

He answered with a smile, "Just like at home, Mr. Saget, just like being back home" (see "The Lessons-#16, Ron gets a lesson from his mother").

Bob was momentarily confused by that answer, or perhaps concerned. He wondered if the producers had adequately vetted these contestants. But, he quickly regained his composure. "Yes, well, our second contestant is from Livingston College, the irrepressible Griffin Wells." The camera switched to Griffin.

"And, Griffin, tell us young man, what is it that you're studying at Livingston?"

"Well, Mr. Saget, I'm a physics major. I'm working with Dr. Kemp on an ointment that will make you invisible."

Bob laughed. "Well, good luck with that, young man, although perhaps it might come in handy during the game."

"Quite possibly so, Mr. Saget" (see "The invisible young man"), but he didn't really intend to use it.

"Well, you can use pretty much any strategy you want on Celebrity MILF Island. But, let's turn now to our third contestant, Michael Bates, an eighteen year-old young man from Abberville College." The camera switched to Michael.

Michael waved to the camera as Bob asked him, "And, how do you think you will fare on Celebrity MILF Island, the young Mr. Bates." He did look rather young, but he was indeed eighteen, as were the other four men.

"Oh, I think I'll do fine, Mr. Saget. I've already participated in The Program at college."

"The program?"

"Yeah, you know, when you go to classes all day entirely naked."

Bob laughed. These young men must have been put up to this by the producer, trying to trip him up with absurd stories. "Yeah, right, sure. I remember a little streaking in college myself."

Michael just shrugged his shoulders (see "Naked at College").

The camera came back to Bob. "Well, we have two more young men to introduce. Our fourth competitor is rather unique in that he hails from St. Mary. St. Mary is a girl's college, isn't it, Alan?"

"Yes sir, it is. I'm an exchange student."

"What's it like being the only boy at a girl's college?"

"Actually, it's not too bad, Mr. Saget" [see, oh, wait; that story hasn't been written yet].

"I imagine it isn't. I imagine it isn't. And, last but not least, our final contestant is Jack Gibbons, from Harvard." He turned to Jack. "Young man, I imagine being from Harvard you will probably use your sharp wits and keen intellect to good advantage."

Jack responded, "Well, I wish I was as well prepared as Michael."

Saget furrowed his brow in confusion but quickly regained his composure. He then explained the rules (with shots of the five MILFs flashing across the screen). There would be four challenges, with each challenge resulting in the elimination of one of the male and female contestants, the elimination reflecting their complementary roles within the challenges. The male and female winners of the first challenge would receive $10,000 (the celebrity winnings would be donated to her favorite charity), with the dollar amount increasing by $5,000 for the next two rounds. The final man standing would win $50,000 plus tuition coverage for his remaining years in college. The remaining MILF would win $100,000 to be donated to her favorite charity. When Bob was done explaining the rules he welcomed the audience to tune in next week to see the first challenge.