This story is a sequel to âHitchhikers of Gorâ and will probably make a little more sense if you read that story first, although I have tried to write it to function as a stand alone story. It is a satire of John Normanâs Gor novels, so it might be somewhat more accessible if you've read one of them, but I would hope the story could be enjoyed without this prerequisite. Read the foreword to "Hitchhikers of Gor" for the basics of what Gor is all about.
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This was more like it. I had a job. I was the bartender at the Earth Weenie Social Club. It was sort of a private paga tavern--members only. The membership consisted exclusively of immigrants from Earth. I was both member and employee. I didnât get paid all that much, but the job came with room and board. I still didnât have a slave girl of my own at the moment, but I didnât really need one. One of the perks of the job was that I was in charge of the clubâs slave girls. There were about a dozen of them and maybe two thirds were Earth immigrants, although their immigration had not been voluntary. The clubâs name, by the way, was always pronounced in English, never in Gorean.
I had been surprised when they offered me the job. A few weeks before, I had tracked Lysol down and told him I was in need of help finding a job. Heâd invited me to the next meeting of the support group. The group met weekly at the club. There were about fifteen or twenty guys at the first meeting I attended. They seemed like a pretty average bunch, but were suspicious of me. They asked tons of questions. They wanted to know how Iâd gotten here, all about my life on Earth, what skills I had, had I ever been in the military, and how did I feel about Gor and Goreans.
Finally, I got sick of the grilling. âWhatâs with the inquisition? I thought this was a support group.â
âSorry,â said Bardol (he seemed to be in charge). âWe just need to know who weâre dealing with. We canât have the wrong sort of people in here. Besides, the more we know about you, the better we can help.â
I wondered who the wrong sort of people might be. âI need a job. You donât need to know too much about me to figure that out.â
âDonât take it personally,â Lysol said. âWeâre always willing to help a fellow Earthman, but we have to do it in our own way. This is your first meeting, so go with the flow until you know the ropes.â
âHey, Iâm not trying to be a pain, but this isnât like any support group I ever heard of.â
âWell, hang onto your hat,â said Bardol. âWe arenât done. Did you bring a gun?â
âYeah, Iâve got a .45.â
âSo if you came with Octavius, youâve probably got fifty rounds. He always pulls that shit.â
âForty-nine. I had a run in with a sleen.â I described my encounter with the sleen.
âIf you hit that thing in the head while it was charging, youâve got a cooler head and a sharper eye than average.â
âI do.â
âThatâll come in handy. How many rounds did Octavius keep?â
âA hundred and fifty.â
âA bit skimpy, but itâll have to do. Iâll set things in motion to get them back.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âOctavius, and most of the other pilots, usually confiscate ammo when they can get away with it, then sell it back to us at a premium. A little business they run on the side. As to your current problem, weâll get to work on finding some sort of employment for you. In the meantime, you can borrow what you need to keep afloat from the group. We keep interest rates reasonable among ourselves, but it would be a bad idea to get carried away. Only borrow what you really need.â
The discussion turned toward general problems and complaints. As an immigrant community, we faced a number of problems. Ar was the most cosmopolitan city on Gor, but was nonetheless quite provincial. Our accents, which marked us as outsiders, and our lack of marketable skills in this economy meant that making a living was more of an adventure than any of us really appreciated. It was apparent from listening that the group was headed toward building itâs own economy.
The meeting was being held in English, a fact which I appreciated. My Gorean was still a bit shaky. âAre these meetings always in English, or are you just doing it for my benefit?â
âWe always do it in English,â Lysol said. âWe want to maintain fluency; also, itâs more secure.â Bardol gave Lysol a look that suggested security had just been breached.
They loaned me enough money to get me through the week until the next meeting. I thanked them and left. They said that in the meantime theyâd beat the bushes for some kind of job for me. I was confused as to the exact nature of this support group. I had expected a social gathering where everyone would commiserate about how mean and nasty the world was treating them. This was run more like a business meeting. The members seemed prosperous--well dressed and confident, albeit cliquish to the point of paranoia. I went back each week for several weeks. Each week they would probe a little deeper into my past and present activities, then loan me some more money and tell me they were still looking for a job for me. The overall atmosphere reminded me vaguely of the Teamsters--paternal rather than fraternal and benevolent as long as you were part of the group and didnât break the rules. I wasnât entirely sure what the rules were, so I tried not to make any waves. They were obviously checking me out, getting to know me and evaluating.
Finally, on my fifth visit, I was told they had something for me. Prego, the current bartender at the club, was being promoted and the position was available if I wanted it. I accepted and moved out of my rundown insula and into the club. My duties were less than onerous. In the morning, Iâd get the slave girls up, feed them, then set them at their tasks. They did all the work except make the drinks. I took pride in doing that myself. That was one of the differences between us and the average paga tavern. We had real drinks. Most paga taverns served paga (something like a strong ale) or various wines, but nothing stronger. The Goreans seemed to have discovered fermentation, but not distillation. We had a couple of stills out back where we made bourbon and a pretty good brandy from the local kalana wine. The club was generating some income by supplying these to other taverns around Ar and there were plans to enlarge the distillery.
I hung out at the club all day. I wore a white apron over my tunic and when things were slow I would wipe the bar down and philosophize to whomever would listen. As the days went by and I got to know the various members better, I began to get a picture of what was going on. The club had itâs fingers in a number of pies, and liquor sales was one of the more legitimate ones.
Apparently, the Goreans had also neglected to invent organized crime and the club was hard at work repairing this lack (organized crime being defined as crime carried out on a businesslike basis by organizations other than governments). I still wasnât sure what all the club was into, but it appeared to be prospering. I realized that my job was a way for me to start at the bottom and work my way up. In the meantime, I was where everybody could keep an eye on me. I didnât mind. I knew that cohesion was extremely important to make it all work and it would take time for everyone to know me well enough to feel secure about me.