The only plant life for miles were the flecks caught in the desert's jaws. Wherever Ivy had ended upâit could've been the Mojave or Sahara but for the two sunsâshe was utterly alone. Even when Harley had left her, run back to Mistah J, she'd still had the Green. Now she only had the fool's gold of sand in the blistering sunlight.
And she'd been the fool, going along with Luthor's plan to conquer the Monitors. Not only rule Earth, but all possible Earths. They couldn't even take out a man dressed as a bat!
At least she had a direction to be walking in. There was a black dash on the rolling horizon. Maybe a mirage. At least it was more interesting than the other dunes.
***
She didn't pass any plants getting there. No cacti. No tumbleweeds. But it wasn't a mirage. It was a skeleton, a big skeletonâlong spine with the reticulated ribs of a snake. But at quadruple intervals, legs emerged. At one end, the spine dwindled into a tail. At the other, it terminated in a toothy, triangular maw. A regular dinosaur.
Ivy stepped over a row of broken teeth and took shelter in the shade of the skull's cranium. Stepping out of the dual sunlight felt like opening a refrigerator door. Ivy pulled her long legs up to her chin, fully submerging herself in the darkness. Firestorm. Fucking Firestorm, hitting Luthor's machine with his energy blast, causing that explosionâshe'd probably been incredibly lucky, waking up here instead of in the vacuum of space.
Her exhaustion caught up with her. Long hours in the sun had done their damage, browned her skin, brittled her hair. Ivy felt her eyelids growing heavy... heavy... heavy...
***
She had a dream. Little people in brown robes from top to bottom were giving her way. It was warm, but it was beautiful. They had gunsâwhat looked like gunsâand they ordered her around, pushing her toward a big rectangle of a vehicle. A building with tank treads. She went with them. Inside, at least the air was circulating. Blowing on her skin. She drank as much water as they would give her, then found herself sleeping again.
***
"Five hundred credits for
that?
She looks half-dead. How do I know she's not sick? What species is she even?"
"U-tin! U-tin!"
"Yes, five hundred credits, I heard you the first time!" The Weequay looked back at his master, Bib Fortuna, who nodded solidly. Then the Weequay looked to the green woman. "You! Hey, you! Can you speak Basic?"
The woman raised her head. It took her a moment to get her bearings, and she seemed vague on them all the same. "I... I guess so."
The Weequay nodded stiffly. Maybe she was less than half-dead. "We'll take her."
***
The cargo skiff they threw her onto was open to the air, the outside as hot and staid as it had been before. But when it jumped into motion, at least the wind it cut through chilled Ivy a little. She had long ago allowed them to chain her. She toyed with the links that joined her collar to her manacles. She wanted them to take her somewhere with air conditioning before she made her move.
***
"Behold, mighty Jabbaâa new dancing girl to match the most beautiful spectacles of Coruscantâ"
Ivy let her temporary owner talk. Big slug ran the show. That was fine. She was used to slugs in a garden. You just had to pour a little salt on them, then everything would grow just fine. She even kinda liked the outfit they had given herâa golden girdle that was entirely assless and crotchless, just with a long loincloth dangling between her legs, with a dark green bra to match her palely green skin tone. Her hair had been braided to resemble the chain of her leash, which was now being presented to the slug himself.
As soon as his grubby hand was on it, Ivy grabbed her end of the leash and pulledâgently. More pulling herself along its length to him than trying to get away. 'Jabba' laughed uproariously as she came closer.
"Oh, mighty Jabbaâ" Ivy purred. "You must let me kiss you."
***
It took less than an hour. The slug was fat, but all that cholesterol made good fertilizer for her spores. Now he was a compost heap, birthing pheromones that had spread throughout the palace. All of his men were under her command. The ones that were immune to her charms had been summarily executed. With the carnage cleaned away, she ordered the men to leave and sat on
her
throneâthe great tree that had once been Jabba the Hutt.
She was alone now. Her and her dancers. And she had a lot of ideas when it came to choreography.
Besides her, there were six dancing girls. Oola and Lyn Me were both Twi'leks, Oola with lime-green skin, Lyn with a paler tone and Asiatic features. Both had twin tentacles instead of hair,
lekku
, which twitched rhythmically under Ivy's sway.
RystĂĄll Sant was somewhat human, but with albino skin that mottled into purple spots like flower petals, from her cleavage up the sides of her face, to her forehead where an explosion of bright red hair competed with horns where a man would have sideburns. From the way RystĂĄll touched those sideways horns, Ivy guessed they were an erogenous zones.
The rest were human. Melina Carniss and 'Princess' Leia were vivid brunettes, while Arica was a redhead as breathtakingly beautiful as all the rest. Ivy would say one thing for the slug. He had good taste.
"Ms. Ivy," Leia said hurriedly, "I am Leia Organa, a leader in the Rebellion to Restore the Republic. Some of my friends are being held here, if you would simply allow us to leave, the Rebel Allianceâ"
"They're traitors and criminals," Arica cut her off. "My name is Mara Jadeâ" Already Ivy was getting them mixed up. "I work for the Empire, the
lawful authority
in this galaxy, and if you turn these wanted fugitives over to my custody, the Emperor will reward youâ"
"Shhhh." Ivy cut her off. "You're both much too serious. All of you. Far too serious. Why don't we try something