Staci's mom has got it going on, P.1
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Author's Notes: These are my stories and may not copied, used or sampled without expressed written permission.
I was looking at this and it was one of the first things I wrote and it's kind of a mess, I mean I meant well and all, but I'm going to present a rewrite of that here and the part two to follow. There are aspects of BDSM, lesbian sex, groupies, infidelity, self abuse and just a smidge of incest.
Chapter one.
We, mom and I, lived in this house on seventh avenue north carved out of the east side of Queen Anne Hill, overlooking Lake Union and across to Capitol Hill and this ginormous episcopal cathedral and mansions and Interstate Five, which is like somebody took a giant knife and tried to cut off the top of the hill.
My great great grandparents had a home right in the middle of the fucking freeway. My war hero great grandfather was raised there, he had a cousin that flew PBYs during the second world war. My daddy was a wounded veteran during the war in Afghanistan long after my mom cheated on him and dumped him. They'd been married a year or so.
My name is Stacy Benedict and this band wrote this song about my mom called Stacy's Mom Has Got It Going On. I was so embarrassed when it came out and it's true mostly, except we don't have an outdoor pool. We have an ancient indoor pool that is like one hundred and twenty years old. Yes the little goober was crushing on slutzilla, my name for mom. I thought he was a creepy fuck. Eeew.
So slutzilla was a local groupie for this band, Fountains of Wayne, based in New York, she was a flight attendant, after she fucked out, read flunked out of Montclair State University. She was back there to play fast pitch from Holy Names, and discovered the whole sugar daddy thing, I heard her telling a friend on the phone, that she had fifteen middle aged guys and was making between three thousand dollars and five thousand dollars a month all cash.
She kept the money in one of those non-U.S. Mail places that have safe deposit boxes and only bought stuff with cash. I had to look up chlamydia, which she gave to all those sugar daddies, then she hooked up with the lead singer. Her high school pictures showed her with a pretty face, skinny like a runner, then one of the sugar daddies bought her these giant fake tits and butt implants. She gets Botox shots now.
Then she was broke, and so was she, now twenty years old and she became a flight attendant for Eastern Airlines and married a pilot for a minute, some middle aged fuck with a wife and kids. Divorced him just as fast.
I was born in 2005, slutzilla WAS married to Daddy. But, he joined Ancestry.com when I was thirteen and well I thought I was his daughter. He told me no matter what, I'd be his daughter. He no longer had to pay child support, then he was on the USS Makin Island in Afghanistan for two years, then he got remarried, if you're lost here, mom had dumped him when I was two.
She was having dinner with some asshole and I'm thirteen and it was fucking COVID and I was angry at her. I don't know who the fuck was my sperm donor and there were five guys. I was banished to my bedroom which was three floors down with a fucking store bought chicken pot pie and some microwave caramel corn and a six pack of diet doctor pepper.
I was watching the Pitch Perfect movies and I'd slow them down and whenever Beca played by Anna Kendrick and watch her in that shower scene with Britany Snow. I had such a crush on her and so I found her agent Creative Artist Agency (CAA) and wrote her email after email telling her I could do the cup scene audition for the Bellas. I told her to watch out for Anna Camp, she was mean to Beca and then it seemed her and Brittany Snow were falling in love and I was heartbroken. I wrote her letters too, emails really.
I said, 'I thought they were a beautiful couple and that I was in love with Anna and had told her many times, but I'd come to realize, they were both too old for me and that I kind of looked like Britany so that maybe some day I could find a woman that love me.'
She or her PR person sent me back a really nice letter, saying that her Brittany, Rebel Wilson and Ester Dean were coming to Seattle's Pride festival. Rebel Wilson had recently come out and Ester Dean's character was queer, but in real life she was queer too. Of the two Ester was totally hot. Rebel seemed fake, I saw her in this movie with Anne Hathaway and the whole being fat schtick was tiresome, so I wrote Ester a note and told her was queer and all about slutzilla I was crushing her, now that Bittany and Anna were squared up. She didn't write back.