Alex kept calling Kara until she finally answered, her voice trembling faintly like it did when she tried to be strong. She tried so hard, but she could never quite manage it when she was talking to Alex. "Hello?"
"Hey, Kara."
There was a pause, and Alex could imagine the flustered look on her face, the little embarrassed blush as she tried to hide her distress. "You got Livewire?"
"Yeah, she's back in custody. I won't let her get away this time."
"That's good. I know she's not an alien or anything, but she isâsuch a B-word!"
"Totally!" Alex agreed, letting out a little hysterical laugh. "Are you okay?"
"Uh-huh. I mean, it was just some psycho being a psycho, right? It doesn't matter. It's probably going to happen moreâfighting psychos like we do. At least I've got you to look out for me."
"Didn't do such a good job today."
"No, come on, Alex, it was my faultâ"
"It wasn't! I should've at least given you a warning, you could've prepared for her."
"I was as prepared as I was gonna get. I'm not always gonna be lucky enough to get a heads up. Superman certainly doesn't..."
"Superman isn't my sister." Alex fell silent, cursing herself for being so open with this, trying to take the blame so thoroughly, making Kara feel sorry for her and try to take all the responsibility herself. She didn't deserve to have Kara comforting her; she was the one who was supposed to be comforting her. "We've checked social media, no one's uploaded anything about what happened. And no one in the DEO knows either. I mean, just me and Henshaw."
"Of course," Kara said. "You wouldn't let anyone go around saying things about me. Not if you could help it."
Alex felt a fresh stab of protectiveness run through her. She'd never envied Kara, never felt bad that Kara had powers and she didn't, but just then she wished she had just a little strength, was just a little bigger, a little faster. Able to do anything to protect Kara instead of leaving her exposed to the world, flying out into the world with a big red target on her chest.
"Listen," Alex said, her voice starting to feel larger, more certain as she spoke, as she finally felt like she was doing some little thing to help her sister. "I know you're okay, I know you're fine and you don't need my help and you won't let it get to you--but I'd just really like it if you came over tonight and spent the night with me. Nothing special--just watch some TV and open some wine... see about doing your hair..."
"If I change my hair, I think someone will figure out my secret identity. But everything else sounds good." Alex could hear the tiny smile in Kara's voice. "And I will
always
need your help."
***
Alex tidied up before Kara could get there, wishing there was more she could do, make her apartment some kind ofâKryptonian spa. She put a Greek pizza in the oven instead, figuring whatever the situation was, it'd be better if Kara had pizza to eat.
Kara came through the door, using her key, while Alex was taking the pizza out of the oven. Alex turned around, DEO training telling her she was being breached, and took the brunt of Kara's appearance, full force. Hugging herself, knees tilted inward, all hunched up and wrapped around her pain. Alex just went to her and hugged her, so glad this was her sister, that she could just hold her, that Kara loved her enough to let her try and make this better.
"Tell me all about it, Kara," Alex said firmly. "Tell me all about it now."
"It's fine, it's nothingâjust a bad fight, Superman has bad fights..." Kara let herself be led to the couch, laid out on it, her hair and taut-muscled arms petted by Alex. Feeling Alex's touch was like permission to relax, let go of the clench she was in. "It's just... just Cat yelling at me and Jimmy doesn't know I exist and it's like Winn wants something from me and I
like
him but he wants me to like him more and Max Lord wants to kill me and my aunt wants to kill me and Livewire kisses me,
Rao
, it's like the first time I've been kissed in months!"
Alex picked away her hair clips, letting her hair down, and then ran her fingers through its ruffled length, further straightening and smoothing it. "Do you want to cry?"
"No!" Kara scoffed, shaking her head, piteous like she wanted to moan.
"Don't lie." Alex was almost proud of Kara, how
solid
she'd become, how tough, the armor she'd built up over the past few weeks But she didn't want to be one of the people outside it. She wanted to be part of Kara's wall, protecting her. And she knew Kara would always let her in.
She leaned in and kissed Kara's head and Kara couldn't take it, couldn't keep pretending to be so tough when Alex loved her so much. "
Yes!
" she said, her voice cracking, and Alex held her close, feeling Kara's breath blaze against her shoulder as she huffed sob after sob.
***
Alex practically had to hand-feed Kara to get her to eat, snuggling on the couch with Kara and taking her mind off her troubles with the lovelorn doctors of Seattle Grace. It made Kara cry more, but they were softer tears. Kara relaxed into Alex's embrace, the jagged rasps of emotion leaving her until she was able to smile at McDreamy and company.
After Netflix burned through three episodes, Kara was practically comatose. Alex picked her up easily enough. She may have been the Girl of Steel, but she was still flesh and blood, and Alex had little trouble carrying her to the bedroom. She suddenly wished she had sprung for an apartment with a guest room, cursing herself for not having the foresight to build in a place for Kara to stay over. What if Kara's apartment had blown up or burned down or even just been fumigated? Was Kara supposed to sleep on the
couch?
Alex would sleep on the couch. Kara deserved a bed to sleep in. Alex laid her down and helped her out of her shoes and her pants and her bra, all to a mumbling monologue from the sleepyhead, then she drew the covers over Kara. When she turned to leave, she felt Kara's hand on her own. All throughout the evening, Kara had been soft and pliant, but now her grip was firm as could be.
"Stay with me?"
"I don't know if that's a good idea." Alex was at war with herself. She wanted to keep comforting Kara, keep an eye on herâno way she'd have a good night's sleep with Kara out of her sight, even knowing she was in the other room. But she also suspected that Kara needed her space, and didn't want to crowd her when she was getting through some things. "What if I have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and I wake you up? You need your sleep."
"I need you more," Kara said, then her eyes got impossibly bigger. "I'm a really sound sleeper. I won't notice if you play a brass band in here! Please? I'll tell you what Mom got you for Christmas?"
"I'm a spy, Kara. I could find out if I wanted to."
"I'll give you a foot-rub!"
"
Fine
," Alex breathed at last, just to see the look of excited relief on Kara's face. "Just let me go and get into my pajamas and you have to tell me what's bothering you. All of it. No repression allowed."
Kara nodded excitedly. "And you'll scratch my back?"
Alex rolled her eyes. "You're a monster."
Kara grinned, seeing Alex had fallen prey to the puppy dog eyes. "Thank you, Alex."