Slap Yo Mama Moonshine

Sex And Moonshine Parody

Slap Yo Mama Moonshine Headquarters... My Backyard, Malibu, California...

Everyone is looking at my aunt Beth Chapman, who runs my Moonshine biz for me. She's sampling the new batch... new recipe taste test. She chugs a mouthful, swishes it around in her mouth... and swallows it. "Best batch ever."

Everyone erupts into cheers and high fives, hugging happily, super excited to get Beth's approval. Only one approval left... the big boss... Me.

"Do you think James will like it?" Howard Wolowitz asks Beth. He's an engineer, and also friends with my wife Penny. I hired him for his engineer skills... and cause I fuck his wife Bernadette. She asked me to hire him... convincing me with a really intense booty bang. She fucking loves my big, fat cock up her ass.

"Yeah, he'll love it. If he doesn't, Penny and I will fuck his brains out and make him love it." Beth smirks.

"LISTEN UP EVERYONE... (Everyone quiets down and listens to Beth)... It needs James' approval, but I know he'll love it. Good work everybody. EVERYONE GETS A BIG FAT BONUS!"

Loud cheers break out excitedly, again... more high fives and happy hugs.

I pay everyone really well. I make a boatload of bucks off of my moonshine. It's the hottest hard liquor on the market. The celebs love it and anyone in the know around LA does too. It's an underground smash. It's taken off around the country cause of Penny's great marketing and all the underground vibes with the cool crowd.

Our website has helped big time... I always make sure to combine freaky sex with the liquor... sex sells baby. It may be illegal whiskey, but thanks to some powerful friends... and some big time palm greasing... the ATF, I.R.S and local cops leave us alone.

I hired Beth to run my moonshine company cause I'm busy with my other endeavors and she's my favorite aunt... and she's got the sweetest tits. We also fuck like sex maniacs, so that was a big reason also.

My hot wife Penny is second in charge. She's in charge of marketing. It's her job to keep the word of mouth growing, while the moonshine is flowing. She's so fucking beautiful... and she loves to drink, so it's a great job for her, especially since her acting career has slowed down.

I charge $2,500 bucks a gallon for my Slap Yo Mama Moonshine... I got the name from the movie Friday After Next... "It tastes so good, it'll make you wanna Slap Yo Mama." Funny movie. I sell an average of 20,000 gallons a month... and counting... around the USA. Do the math... that's a cool 600 mil a year. Yeah... business is good.

In my bedroom with my wife Kim Kardashian...

(Phone rings)... "Howdy." I answer the phone while Kim rides my cock in her ass, looking right at me, blowing me beautiful kisses. She's the hottest bitch on Earth... and she's my wife... one of them anyway.

"Hey handsome. I need you to approve our newest batch. It's great. The best yet... but the big boss has gotta sign off on it." My aunt Beth says, charming as always.

"I'm kind of in the middle... or up the middle (winking at Kim)... of something right now baby. I'll try it a little later. How's everything out there?"

"It's running good big daddy. I know how to keep em in order. Kong is here too, just in case I need a little extra help. We can whip these horny little bastards into shape, if we need to. No problem... (Kim's moaning noises)... sounds like your having a fun time there big daddy. You didn't even wait for me."

Kim grinds slowly back and forth on my super hard cock. Every fucking thick inch buried deep up the world's greatest ass. It feels so fucking good. GOD DAMN!! My bitches can all fuck! Kim smiles and blows sweet kisses, knowing how good it feels. Sexy bitch! That tight ass clamping down on my 10 inches, grinding it so damn good, as she moves back and forth on me.

Kim quickens her pace, grinding faster and faster... then slowing down, shaking that super phat ass on my smiling cock. "God Damn, baby doll! You sure know how to work my cock baby. FUCK, IT FEELS GOOD." I tell Kim, slapping her big titties. Kim moans and smiles, blows me a big kis, and keeps grinding, and booty shaking, all over my cock.

"Don't worry auntie Beth... my cock is always ready to pound you silly hot stuff. You know that baby doll. Drop by later and I'll prove it... again and again and again." We laugh.

"Damn right I'll drop by. I want a cum smoothie too big daddy."

"Of course, thick and creamy, just for your sexy ass. Send Spence over... I need to talk to him about the last porno he shot. Tell him to hurry or I'll beat it ass." I laugh. I love teasing my nerdy ass cousin.

"You got it babe... SPENCE, GET YOUR ASS OVER TO THE HOUSE! JAMES NEEDS TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR MOVIE. HURRY, OR HE'LL BEAT YOUR LITTLE WEASEL ASS! HURRY!! CHOP CHOP!! OK big daddy, he's running over to you. Love you... keep that big cock warm for me." Beth blows me a big ass kiss through the phone.

Literally two minutes later...

Spence runs up to my bedroom... in record time. I have a huge back yard. The chubby bastard can move, when he wants to. The doors open, so he stares wide eyes at Kim riding me. She shakes her head and pinches my left nipple, grinding quickly, then slowly, skillfully alternating speeds to increase mine... and her... pleasure. I'm squeezing her awesome, big, full tits, rolling her thick, dark, rock hard nipples between my thumbs and forefingers.

"You... you wanted... to... see me?" Spence asks, bending over, clutching his chest, breathing so heavy.

"Damn... nerd boy can run. Relax Spence. Don't want you having a heart attack. Come sit on the bed."

"Um...are you sure? You seem... busy." He asks, his breathing slowing.

"Yes... I fucking told you to didn't I?"

Spence makes his way to the bed, sitting on the edge of my very large, round, green and gold bed. The gold satin sheets are very comfy... Spence rubs them, smiling.

I pull Kim's nipples as far as they will go and shake them super hard, rubbing the tips with my thumbs as I do. "Mmmmmm... Yeahhhhhhhh!" Kim licks her luscious, full lips, her tongue moving slowly across those gorgeous, glistening lips. I shake them some more. Kim moans loudly... looking right at me.

Kim leans down and kisses me, sucking my tongue. I smack that perfect booty hard. Kim moans so sexy into my mouth. I smack it again and shake it. I love my wife's ass. I'm obsessed with it. I spread her perfectly shaped cheeks wide, my hard throbbing cock wedged all the way up her ass.

Spence stares... his cock hard in his pants. He starts rubbing it, then stops when he notices us looking at him. "It's OK Spence. You can rub your cock. Kim and I are fucking, so it should be hot." Spence nervously half smiles and lowers his head. He's very awkward sometimes... a lot of the time... so he needs encouragement, but I was fucking Kim and I needed to talk to him, so he was on his own.

I down my third Budweiser and watch my woman do her thing. Kim licks her full lips and shakes that mega hot ass all over my big fucking cock. I just smile motherfucker. Just enjoying the ride.

"The last movie had some fucking problems. Your camera work is usually really good, but you missed some shots. I mean Kim Kardashian is fucking Kate Upton. How the fuck can you mess that up. I tried some editing, but you're gonna have to shoot it again. I want it done tonight. Kim's here and Kate will be home shortly, so do it and do it fucking right." I scolded him.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry James... it's just... I... ummm..."

"What?" I start rubbing Kim's engorged clit, while she grinds my cock faster in her ass. Her awesome ass holds my thick cock in a super tight sheath, her anal muscles stroking my shaft up and down, tightly, faster and faster.

I hand Kim a beer and she drinks it while she grinds my cock. Sexiest sight there is. I smack that ass. Kim moans and shakes her booty fast on my super cock.

Kim squirts all over me. I love it. I rub her beautiful clit mercilessly through her orgasm. "YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!" Kim looks at me in a pure sexually intense haze, pumping her pussy nut out, splattering me and the bed. I stick out my tongue, lapping at it, as it flies through the air.

Spence is in a trance, watching my perfect wife squirt. He starts drooling, watching Kim's big, wet labia spread wide, as her pussy shoots out her pussy jizz.

"SPENCE!" I yell at him to snap him out of it.

"Oh... I'm sorry... it's just that... I was distracted by them."

"Distracted?"

"You know..."

I laugh. Little bastard has a crush on them. "Oh... yeah, I see."

Spence looks down... his cock tenting his pants.

"Seems my cousin has a big crush on you Kim... and Kate." I tell Kim, as she starts grinding faster and faster on my throbbing cock missile filling her perfect ass.

Kim bites her bottom lip as she rides me, rubbing my beer belly. "Awww... that's sweet Spence." Kim smiles at him. Spence nervously smiles back, staring at Kim's big tits.

My wife Kate Upton walks in. "Hey... you started without me. Hey Spence." Kate quickly throws her clothes off and climbs in bed, last Spence, crawling over to kiss me. She sucks my tongue as we kiss. I play with her big, natural, hanging titties, as Kim squirts again. It hits Kate, who reaches over and rubs Kim's pulsating, juicy clit, while she squirts.

I finally cum deep up Kim's ass. Kate stuffs her tits in my mouth. I devour those perfect melons, as I fill Kim's awesome booty with my cock cream. I suck away in Kate's tits, licking the nipples and areolaes, as I suck awesomely hard on those full, heavy tits.

Kate bites her bottom lip and writhes happily on the gold, satin sheets... loving my mouth on her tits. "Mmmmmm... suck my titties daddy. I Iove how you suck them baby." Fuck, I love my life. My cock is up my wife Kim Kardashian's ass... while my wife Kate Upton's awesome tits are in my mouth. Fucking awesome!

I stuff as much of Kate's cans in my mouth and pull them with my mouth, sucking ridiculously hard on each one. I softly chew on them, licking her nipples fast. They throb uncontrollably in my mouth.

Kim leans down and kisses Kate. I squeeze Kate and Kim's asses. Spence drools. "Go ahead... squeeze her ass Spence." I tell him, moving my hand from Kate's soft, supple ass. Spence nervously... again... reaches out, licking his lips, and squeezes Kate's ass. "Two handfuls of supermodel ass for ya." I tell Spence, I laugh and go back to sucking Kate's spectacular, full tits. Kim and Kate keep kissing, their tongues fucking.

A few minutes later...

Kate is sucking my cock head, her awesome, natural tits wrapped tightly around my shaft. Kim is suck my balls... and Spence is filming it all. His cock is bobbing and weaving as he walks around, getting the best shot.

Kate chews on my sensitive head, kicking and sucking it with just fueled glee. Kate smiles at me, shaking her head, her long blonde hair whipping wildly as she sucks me off. Kim slobber all over my balls and fingers my ass, wiggling two fingers up my ass, massaging my prostate.

I explode my jizz all over Kate face and in her mouth. Kim moves up and bites up and down my super thick shaft as I cum. She slowly licks all over my shaft, as Kate sucks out the rest of my cum load.

Kate and Kim kiss, sharing my cum, sucking each other's tongues. I play with each beauties big tits and watch them lick and suck my cock... and Kate's gorgeous face... clean.

I kiss Kate and Kim and slip out of the action. I need to go see aunt Beth and taste the new batch of moonshine. "OK Spence... make sure you do this right. This is your last fucking chance." (Spence look very nervous)...

"Make this movie hot as fuck... you've got Kim and Kate fucking... DON'T FUCK THIS UP!!" I give Spence a very stern, demanding look... once again breaking his balls.

"I will... I promise James... I will make it super duper hot. I promise. I won't let you down." Spence half smiles... nervously... looking at me, then quickly lowering his head. I slap him on the back.

"Good... if you fuck it up, I'll have Fat Bastard fuck you UP! In more ways than one." I laugh. Spence shakes his head, not wanting that.

"No... Please... I mean... I promise I won't fuck it up James. I mean it. Thank you for giving me another chance. I'm really sorry about before. I promise this time, it will be awesome." Spence smiles, trying to show me he won't let me down.

I kiss Kate and Kim, then head out back... it's a huge estate... to my moonshine production facility. Kate and Kim start 69ing while Spence films.

At the facility...

"Hey big daddy." Aunt Beth comes over to me, as I enter her office and hugs and kisses me. She's my favorite aunt. Damn, that bitch has got awesome titties. Gets me hard as steel every god damn second I'm around her. She notices.

"Mmmmmmmmm...what do we have here?" Beth grabs my cock through my coveralls... I'm rocking the redneck vibe motherfuckers. She strokes it, watching me, her sexy, full lips pursed, as she strokes my super hard... and super thick... 10 inches.

"Been waiting for this all day." Beth pulls her white tank top off... no bra... and her daisy dukes off too. She leaves her white stripper pumps on... and her cowboy hat too. God damn, she's hot!

Beth kneels down and gets to work, engulfing my entire cock in one gulp. She smacks my hips to get me to fuck her throat... I oblige. I pound down her sucking throat, my big dick swelled up, thumping deep down Beth's throat.

"Mmmmm... Uhhhhhhh... Mmmmmmmm!" Beth mumbles around my very thick, throat thrusting cock. Beth plays with her massive 38F natural wonders... the sexiest tits ever... shaking and squeezing them, her head bobbing fast on my manmeat. Beth's long, wavy blonde hair fails wildly, such a beautiful sight, as she devours my cock.

I explode down her throat. My cum bazooka blasts wave after creamy wave of thick jizz down my gorgeous aunt's throat. She happily gulps it all down... moaning her taste approval the whole time.

Beth massages my balls, as she sucks me dry, looking up at me with a big, beautiful, horny as fuck smile.

I pick her up, kiss her, and lay her on her desk. I spread her juicy labia wide and shove my tongue up her pussy, licking fast, rolling my tongue side to side, shaking it quickly, tasting every inch of her sweet, pink folds.

I rub her perky pink clit with my thumb, pinching it hard, then rubbing it faster and faster and faster. I suck her pussy hard, my tongue working fast inside that wet, juicy cunt. My tongue darts side to side, rolling, licking insanely fast. I rub her hard, throbbing clit as fast as possible.

"FUCK!! SUCK THAT PUSSY BIG DADDY!! SUCK ITTTTTTTTTTT!!" Beth squirts hard into my sucking mouth. I clamp my mouth tightly on her spasming cunt and suck her pussy cum down, drinking the sweet pussy nectar, licking her swollen folds fast as I do.

Back in my bedroom...

"Mmmmmmmm... Eat my pussy Kim. You're so good at it. Mmmmmmmm." Kate plays with Kim's hair as she eats her divine, blonde pussy. Kim shakes her ass at the camera. Spence stares... but films... mesmerized by Kim's awesome ass.

They alternate. Kim is on her knees on the bed, Kate behind her, spreading Kim's perfect cheeks wide, her tongue exploring Kim's super juicy pussy. She looks back at Spence. "Mmmmmmmm... look at that pussy Spence. Want a taste?" Kate giggles. Kim looks back at Spence and smiles. Spence stares confused... not knowing what to say.

Kate breaks the ice. "Cmon Spence. " Kate reaches back and grabs Spence's hard cock through his jeans. Spence almost drops the camera. "Mmmmmm... very nice. We're gonna have fun with this... aren't we Kim?" Kate winks at Kim, enjoying driving Spence crazy, teasing him big time. Kim smiles at Kate and plays along.

"Mmmmmhmmmm. I want it in my ass though. Better get it nice and wet, so it will slide in easily. It looks really big." Spence's jaw drops. He can't believe what's happening. Is it real? Is he really gonna fuck Kim Kardashian's ass after Kate Upton sucks his cock?

Kate confuses Spence even more as she slowly unzips Spence's jeans and reaches in, pulling out his rock hard, very thick 6 inches. It's pouring precum already. "Mmmmmmmm. Nice and thick, just like I like em." Kate teases, smiling so sexy at Spence. She slowly jerks Spence's cock, precum pouring all over her hand.

"Mmmmmm... look at that Kim... so much precum. I bet he cums a lot. Good. Maybe he'll give us both a mouthful of yummy cum to swallow. You will... won't you Spence?" Kate gives Spence a pouty look, her gorgeous lips pursed, smiling so sweetly at him.

Spence is speechless. He just stands there... still filming though. Kim and Kate giggle. Kim turns around and she and Kate sit on the edge of the bed in front of Spence. They both check out his cock. It jumps repeatedly, from excitement. Kim laughs smiling, kissing Kate. She reaches over and tickles Spence's balls, as Kate jerks him off.

"Well... Should we suck it?" Kate looks at Kim... then at Spence. He's murmuring incoherently, shaking, his cock jumping in Kate's stroking hand.

"Mmmmm... I think we should... I want the first mouthful of cum though. I'm really thirsty." Kim says to Kate, licking her full, luscious, lips at Spence.

"OK... but I get him in my pussy first. Once he cums, he'll last longer anyway." Kate smiles at Kim... then Spence, jerking his cock quicker, squeezing it all the way up the shaft. Precum explodes out of his piss slit, coating Kate's stroking hand. Spence can't stand it. He's so excited, his body shaking from excited confusion.

"Please... I can't take it anymore... I..." Spence begs Kate and Kim.

"Awwwwww... Well, he's begging, so..." Kate says to Kim, her hand tightly gripping Spence's super hard throbbing, precum pouring cock.

Kim looks at Kate, kisses her passionately, then looks at Spence. Kim opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue, shaking it for Spence. "Let the fun begin..." Kate says. She pulls Spence's jumping cock to Kim's tongue and...

Back in Beth's office...

Beth is bent over her desk, as I plow up her blonde pussy, smacking that super phat ass, squeezing her awesome tits, her milk squirting through my fingers. I pound that pussy from behind. I pound it hard and harder, all 10 inches throbbing hard up my aunt's super wet, tight clinching cunt.

"YESSSSSSSSSS... FUCK ME BIG DADDYYYYYYYYY!! POUND THAT PUSSY DADDYYYYYYY!!" Beth screams in sexual bliss, squirting super hard. Her pussy creams blasts out all over my rampaging cock monster. It blasts out of her pussy, around my super thick, hard pounding cock.

"FUCK YEAHHHHHH BITCH... TAKE THAT FUCKING BIG DICK!!" I yell... smacking Beth's plump ass hard, over and over and over, leaving big red handprints all over both beautiful, white ass cheeks. I pull Beth back to me and kiss her deeply, sucking her tongue, squeezing her giant tits so damn hard. I lean my head down and suck each giant tit, drinking that delicious milk down. I alternate, right then left, sucking both massive milk jugs equally.

I love Beth's milk. I drink it every fucking day... any chance I get. I suck so damn hard on those massive tits, pulling them with my mouth, I leave huge red suck marks on them. Beth screams in ecstacy and squirts back to back... huge blasts of pussy cream exploding out of her pussy... with my huge cock buried up it. I kiss Beth, sharing a mouthful of her own milk with her. We both drink it down, as I blast my cum deep up Beth's pussy.

Beth wants me to get her pregnant... again. I've knocked her up 12 times already. I have potent jizz for sure. We have two grown kids together... she only went through with the pregnancy twice. We both love me getting her pregnant.

I fucking love getting chicks pregnant. I fucking get off on it. My jizz blasts up Beth's cunt. I pussy all the way in, making sure to shoot it as far up as possible. We kiss lovingly, as my huge cum load pumps deep up my aunt's well stretched out, bushy blonde pussy. I shoot my biggest load in awhile, slamming so damn deep up Beth's gorgeous, phat pussy as I cum.