Well hello again, it's been a while hasn't it. I always find if you stumble across a good idea then its best to keep the public wanting more is what I say and like I've said before, I know a thing or two about the public and good ideas.
If I remember rightly, last time we caught up, I was telling you all about the delightful Kelly Clarkson, she really taught me a thing or two about the American dream, absolute fire cracker that one, a whole lot of fun though.
Now meeting Kelly was back in 2002 and it opened my eyes to the world. Like I said last time, girls were throwing themselves at me every time we were out on the road and Kelly happening didn't stop that, I'm only human, but the excitement of these groupies had definitely gone, most of the time it was boredom more than excitement.
Even throughout season two of American Idol, nobody turned my head the way Kelly had done in her audition. I thought about having some fun with Paula again but she made it clear pretty early on that she had got what she wanted and she had no interest in doing anything else, spoil sport.
It was during this period I'd got with Terri Seymour, who was a lot of fun and great to have on the road with me but that's my personal life, I'm not going to share stories about Terri, sorry, you'll have to wait for her autobiography.
I just needed more in my life though and it was by chance encounter that gave me exactly what I needed.
We'd just finished season two of Idol, I was in LA, Terri was working so I'd gone out for lunch, I'm not telling you where because you'll start stalking me. I was happily keeping myself to myself, avoiding passing glances and the paparazzi outside, the owner of the restaurant had given me a booth at the back out of sight when I heard a voice I was going to hear a lot more of the next few years, "Hello Simon".
I looked up slightly startled ready to shout at someone for disturbing me when I saw her smiling face, instantly recognising Sharon Osborne; she was at the height of her The Osborne's fame at the time, I had to admit even I'd sat and watched some episodes. I couldn't deny her smile was infectious as I smiled back at her, "Oh, hello Sharon, an absolute pleasure to meet you."
She just smiled as she stood there in a long figure hugging black dress. She was only small as you can imagine but she actually had a rocking figure for her age, I could see why she'd managed to catch herself a rock star in Ozzy, she would have been smoking hot in her day.
Sharon grinned knowing I was looking her up and down and sat down in the booth next to me, "I'm sure the pleasure is all mine darling, how are you finding LA?" I just looked at her smiling, "I've been in LA long enough Sharon to know nobody just bumps in to me and nobody ever wants to know how I am finding LA." She burst out laughing and reached forward stroking her hand over my chest.
I have to admit I was a little caught off guard, the amount of laughing and the hand on the chest were usually the kind of moves I expect from the groupies on the road, yet here I was with Sharon Osborne and she was pulling the same tricks.
Suddenly the look on her face turned serious as she looked up into my eyes, "Okay you caught me, this isn't a chance meeting, I want something and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get it." Then without a moment's hesitation her hand reached under the table and grabbed my crotch. I almost screamed like a girl I was so surprised, banging my knees on the table as I jumped. "Oh fuck Sharon, what are you doing? You're married."
