Sigma Delta Gamma Ch 19

19

Buffy was in Angel's room studying her next Art exam. The room was so quiet and tranquil, that if you dropped a pin you hear it drop. The silence was something that Buffy needed now in her life. Even though it's been close to, two months after the rape, it still haunted her at night. She never mentioned it to Angel about the nightmares or waking up in the middle of the night with cold sweats. He had been there for her and didn't want to burden him even more.

Angel on the other hand sitting next to her on his bed was looking intently at the blonde beauty with his adorning brown eyes. He could stare at her for hours and never get side tracked. When he was with Buffy, especially when they were alone in situations like these it's the moments that he could have. He wouldn't trade anything for it. Though now the looks of his girlfriend staring in the Art book and her facial expression of somewhat confused meant, it was time for a break.

"Buffy, I think you need a break." He then skidded over, closer and started to kiss her cheek and moving his lips towards the nape of her neck. As his lips descended making it's journey on the creamy flesh of her skin, Buffy started to moan.

"Angel. Please not now." Angel ignored her and kept on going. He knew that she needed this and so did he. They would kiss from time to time, but not like they use to. He understood why. Parker was the reason. It always came back to that bastard. Angel put Parker in the back of his mind and kept on kissing his girlfriend. He pulled her onto his lap and her black skirt hiked up a bit revealing her thighs a bit more. His strong hands held onto her slim waist as his lips made their destination towards Buffy's lips. As the kiss deepened between then, Buffy struggled because she didn't want this. Her mind her heart was confusing with her decision making. Her mind told her to think rationally and to stop this, while her heart seek the comfort, love and tenderness of this man that has always made her feel safe, but now wasn't the time.

"Angel, stop. I'm not in the mood. I seriously need to get prepared for this," she said breathlessly.

"Oh, come on Buffy. You've been studying for two hours straight. I thought you might need a break."

"I don't. You're forcing me to do something that I don't want to do."

"What? What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me, is that you can't control what's in between your legs." She felt his arousal while they were kissing.

"I can't believe you, Buffy. So now I can't get aroused by you?"

"It's just, that you seem to want more and I can't give you that."

"More. I just…I miss holding you closely and kissing you without you shuddering at my touch. It's like you're disgusted by me."

"No, I'm not. It's just that when you kiss me at times, I feel as if it's Parker touching me and not you." Those last few words had stricken a chord in Angel. He couldn't believe that his ears at what he heard.

"Parker? You're comparing me to that asshole! How could you Buffy?"

"I didn't mean…"

"Don't say another word. You said enough. You comparing me to Parker were the last thing I thought would ever come out of your mouth. You knew that I never liked him. Then when he…he raped you, it tore me up inside," he said with tears streaming down his cheeks. It was the first time that he had even cried in front of her showing the pain and anguish that Parker has caused him. She went to place her hand on his cheek to wipe away the tears, but he stopped her.

"No. Don't feel sorry for me now. See you weren't the only one suffering. I think that maybe we need some time apart."

"What? You're breaking up with me?" Buffy had tears forming in her eyes.

"Yeah, I think that maybe it's time that you start hanging out with your friends more often instead of me."

"Who am I suppose to talk to? Who's going to hold me when I'm crying? Tell me Angel?" Angel just looked at her while the tears continued cascading down her cheeks. He couldn't answer her question.

"Buffy, I think you should go now." He stayed seated on his bed. Buffy gathered her books and placed them in her bag. Her back was towards him as she turned around once more.

"Angel, please don't leave me. I need you," she said with her lips trembling.

"Just go." As she opened the door she silently whispered four last words to him.

"I love you, Angel." She then walked out the room.

~*~*~*~*~*

Outside Buffy made her way through the hallway and bumped into Darla. Darla was the last person that she wanted to see. She knew for sure that Darla would be thrilled about this joyous occasion.

"Buffy, why the tears? Did Angel do something to you?"

"Shut up, Darla."

"My, my I struck a nerve. Well from the looks of the tears running down your face, it's either Angel and you had a lover's quarrel or you to broke up? So which is it?"

"My relationship with Angel is none of your business. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get going."

"I guess little Buffy and Angel broke up. Boo hoo. I just can't wait to get my hands on him," she said grinning wickedly.

~*~*~*~*~*

Angel just stared at the wooden door with his football poster of Superbowl XXV with the New York Giants having won that year. A part of him knew that he was harsh, cruel and mean to Buffy, but she left him no choice. He loved her, but she compared him to Parker Abrams, his mortal enemy. The thought of Parker's name just brought back all the frustrated, pent up anger within him. His fists clenched until the red of his blood disappeared and turned a shade of white across his knuckles. His relaxed face became serious, eyes became dark and unfriendly and his jaw clenched.

"Oh, God, what have I done? She needs me now more than ever, but I still kicked her out. Well I couldn't actually accept that compliment. I just wished that all the things that happened to the both of us never happened. She's been gone for only five minutes and I miss her like crazy. Though I've decided that this is what's best for us." Little did Angel know someone was stopping and caught an earful as to what he said?

"So Buffy compared him to Parker. No wonder she was crying. They actually broke up. Oh, this is getting even better. This was way too easy. This weekend with the party that we're having Angel McCrohan will be mine. I gotta talk to Faith," she said smiling to herself.

~*~*~*~*~*

Buffy quickly made her way to Stevenson Hall and made a quick dash to her room. She knew that Willow wouldn't be back until later and in some way she liked it like that. Buffy had decided on not attending the frat party that was scheduled for this weekend. As she changed her clothes into a matching white tank top with little bears and matching pants her thoughts just went back to Angel. This was there first fight that led them to break up.

'Did I make things get this far? Would Angel have stopped if I said so? Oh, who am I kidding, it's Angel. He would never lay hand on me like that.'

As she sat on her bed with her pillows fluffed up behind her, she swerved her head towards her table. On the table besides the phone that she shared with Willow, was her lamp, her picture with Angel and the teddy that he gave her. She picked up the picture frame and lightly touched the glass surface of the picture of Angel looking at her with such love with her fingertips. She placed it back on the table and picked up the teddy bear. Her instant reaction to the brown bear is to squeeze it's stomach and hear the words 'I LOVE YOU' it brought tears to her eyes that when she heard the sound of his voice saying those words to her.

~*~*~*~*~*

Darla was thrilled beyond relief that Buffy was out of Angel's life. It was her turn to put the moves on Angel McCrohan and make him hers for good. She was walking on the gray carpet interior of the Sigma Delta Gamma house, when she looked to her right and spotted the brunette girl. She slowly made her way towards Faith and called her name.

"Faith!"

"Jesus, Darla you could have given me a heart attack. What's up?" Faith asked after her momentary shock.

"You wouldn't believe who just broke up. Guess?" Darla asked cheerfully grinning.

"I don't know. Who?"

"Oh, come on Faith. Can't you take a guess?"

"No. So it's either you tell you or me don't. I don't like playing guessing games."

"It's your brother and Buffy. They're both spiltsville."

"You've got to be shitting me. Those two were like inseparable. How do you know?" Faith knew perfectly well that Buffy wouldn't tell her and Angel wasn't one to share anything painful on his life.

"I over heard the two of them talking in Angel's dorm room. It was intense because from the sound of Angel's voice those two are history." Darla didn't want to tell Faith about her over hearing Buffy comparing Angel to Parker. She knew that Faith would get mad, suspicious and wonder why. Darla thought that if Faith wanted the whole story she'd have to go to the source. It was either Angel or Buffy.

"Well I'm glad. Those two were just starting to make me sick. If they weren't kissing they'd be looking at each other with puppy dog eyes. Ugh. I knew she was trouble from the get go. Good riddens." Though after that last statement she had to admit that her brother was less broody and happy, but that didn't mean that she liked Buffy Summers.

~*~*~*~*~*

Angel lay on his bed and stared at the while ceiling trying to find a particular spot to gaze at. He couldn't believe that he told Buffy that they needed to break up. He was only trying to make her relax by kissing her, holding her closely. He just missed that intimate contact with his girlfriend and now it's gone.

"Did I really do the right thing and break up with Buffy? But then again she hurt my feelings comparing me to Parker and thinking I wanted to have sex with her."

"I would never, ever force myself on her after that painful ordeal she went through with Parker. It always led to Parker."

His thoughts drifted back to the night he found Buffy up in her room, the night she was raped. "Sweetie, who hurt you?" He held his hands by her cheeks so she'd look into his eyes. She closed her eyes. He pulled her away and turned on the lamp by her bed. When he saw his girlfriend's face he was shocked at the sight before him.

"Oh, God! Buffy!" He noticed the fresh tears streaming off her cheeks. Her eyes were red, puffy and flushed from the crying. The thing that caught his attention the most wasn't the red mark across her cheek, but her split lip. He let his thumb graze against her swollen lower lip that had dried up blood and was now purple. He was thinking that not too long ago he kissed those sweet lips under the mistletoe and now she was abused and battered. He continued looking down her body and noticed her cute t-shirt was torn and there were marks above her breasts. Then his eyes wandered down and noticed her stockings were ripped into shreds as well.

"Who did this?" he asked.

"Parker. Parker Abrams," she said quietly. As soon Angel heard the name of his enemy, his facial expression from concern became angered. The ridges on his forehead were concentrating, his soft brown eyes turned dark black and his fists were clenched turning white.

"Parker. I can't wait to see Parker. He and I will have so much to talk about," Angel said sarcastically. Everything had changed from that day on and Angel didn't realize it, but it affected him immensely. All the nerves in his body were tied up in knots. He was frustrated and angry with Parker that night, but especially with himself. He should have made her stay and wait for him. Though a part of him figured that Parker wanted Buffy, but for the inconsiderate asshole to do something like this to his Buffy was unforgivable. His brown eyes became darker into a shade of black like the night. The creases on his forehead scrunched together causing his eyebrows to become rigid. The very last thing that he recalled was his hands clenching into making a fist causing the red blood on his knuckles disappear and become a shade of white.

He just hoped that things between them would change for the better. Even though it's only been like a couple of hours, he really wanted and missed Buffy in his life. He truly loved her, but her words cut him deep and caused a broken wound in his heart.