Lanzar was lost.
All he had wanted was some more firewood to light his camp site. In his absent mindedness, Lanzar had wandered off into the dark woods with nothing but his Zippo lighter. No knife, no cellphone, nothing that could provide any real use. He was alone in the dark underneath the all-encompassing canopy of the woods, the only illumination the flickering flame of his butane-fueled lighter. Lanzar looked around in the vain hope that he may recognize his surroundings, to no avail. The fire from his camp had already grown dim, which is why Lanzar had set off in the first place. Nothing but trees, plants, and stray rocks as far as his eye could see, which wasn't very far.
As he made his way through the woods, Lanzar noticed his environment becoming damper and murkier. Rotting trees and moss began to litter the landscape, and an unpleasant musky odor permeated the air. The ground beneath him began feeling wet and spongy. It was evident that Lanzar had entered a swamp.
With each step, the swamp floor made a sickening "THUCK", coating Lanzar's shoes in the putrid muck. As he paused for a moment to fully gather his surrounding, a faint noise echoed in the distance. The closer Lanzar listened, the more it sounded like... music! Eagerly, Lanzar trudged in the direction of the music. Soon, he was close enough to make out the lyrics.
Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play!
Lanzar thought he recognized the song, but he wasn't so sure. He was, however, relieved that it wasn't a strumming banjo. Off in the distance Lanzar could see a flickering light, its glow illuminating what appeared to be a wooden hut made at the base of a rotting tree. While the idea of approaching a strange house in the middle of a swamp seemed unappealing, so did the idea of wandering aimlessly around a swamp in the middle of the night.
Lighter in hand, Lanzar continued his approach towards the mysterious swamp hut, hoping to see at least some sign of life. The music grew louder.
Hey now, you're a rockstar, get the show on, get paid!
Lanzar had just barely made it to the treeline when he heard heavy, wet footsteps behind him. A deep voice beckoned:
"WHAT ARE YE DOIN' IN MAH SWAMP?"
The sudden sharpness of the voice had scared Lanzar more than anything. He spun around, only to come face to face with a large green monstrosity. Lanzar had no idea what he was looking at, and quite frankly he didn't want to stick around to find out. He turned and began to flee in the direction of the swamp hut, only for the muck surrounding his feet to trip him up and send him flying face-first to the wet, murky ground. Lanzar sputtered, trying to clear his mouth and nostrils of the foul swamp. It was then that he realized that his fall had left him in a rather vulnerable position, with his face to the ground and his rear in the air. The large green creature laughed heartily.
"Well look at the arse on ye!"
Quickly, Lanzar rolled over and raised his lighter to the monster standing over him. It might not have been much, but it was all he had. In vain, Lanzar waved his lighter at the green behemoth hulking over him. "Back beast, back! I warn you!" With a smile, the monster licked his fingers, then used them to snuff the lighter. Lanzar trembled as the monster leaned down and spoke. "You, yer comin' with me!" And in one swift movement, the giant creature hoisted Lanzar up and slung him over his broad green shoulder.
The creature headed for the swamp hut.
This must be the creature's home,
thought Lanzar. As they approached the dirty-looking hut, the pungent scent of onions pierced the air. The music had reached near-deafening levels. As the large green beast reached for the door, it let out a loud fart. "Better out than in, I always say!", the monstrosity quipped. Laughing, the creature turned to his left and began lumbering towards a small wooden outhouse.
