When I got the letter I was so certain it was a joke that I threw it way immediately. I didn't know who could have done it or who among my friends even knew that I had a thing for Shannon Stewart. OK, I joined a group on the internet and even subscribed to her page for a month. Part of me was a little scared that maybe somebody had hacked my ID and now had personal info about me. But nothing bad happened to my credit card and I soon forgot the whole thing.
That's why the phone call a couple of weeks later was kind of spooky. It was pretty late at night and the voice on the other end, granted a very sexy female voice, asked, "Why didn't you answer my letter?"
"What letter?"
"This is Shannon Stewart. I wrote to you about being a guest at my photo shoot."
"Oh, that letter. Look I don't know if this is a joke or some kind of scam but..."
"No, listen. You've got to come. We spent a lot of time checking you out. I mean we didn't want a pervert or a loony. You got picked, that's all. Can you come?"
I sat down, still sceptical, but a little amused by the efforts the pranksters were making. "Come where and when?"
She rattled off some dates and told me how cool it would be to visit Los Angeles. Oddly enough, the dates actually worked for me and I said so. But I was not about to buy a ticket or book a hotel; I knew about those scams too.
But she was ready. "OK, if you're coming we'll FedEx a plane ticket and we'll book a hotel. It'll be the same place we shoot. I'm sorry we can't go first class but I'll make sure you have a good time while you're here." She even giggled a little bit.
Yeah, right I thought and after a few more pleasantries about how glad she was that I was coming and me being glad to meet her we hung up. I sat startled for a moment, thinking about the great lengths some people go to for a joke or a con. But damn that voice was sexy.
Well, the joke was on me. A few days later I was signing for a package with Federal Express. Inside were a roundtrip ticket, an itinerary, and a handwritten note from "Shannon." She said again that she was sorry the flight wasn't first class but she was so happy I was going to be there for the shoot.
I was even more convinced that it was a scam now. But I called the airline and found that the ticket was completely paid for. Same deal at the hotel. I was starting to get paranoid. Maybe it was terrorists planning to frame me? Damn, what the hell was going on?
Later that night I got the idea of looking at some samples of Shannon's autograph that I knew I'd find on eBay and the letter did match as far as I could tell. I sat on my couch to think things over. For some reason I popped in a playmate video and was watching Shannon as the phone rang.
I have to say it was a freaky thing to be watching her beautiful naked body on my TV and hearing that sexy voice at the same time. She actually said, "What are you up to?"
I knew the question was rhetorical but couldn't help blurting out, "I'm watching you on video."
It was the lusty yet embarrassed laugh that convinced me. I was really talking to the gorgeous Shannon Stewart, my all time favorite playmate. I crossed my legs in embarrassment because of a sudden erection; I lost track of the fact that she was thousands of miles away.
She made some more small talk and I tried to keep up my end. She said she was calling to make sure I got the tickets, when I confirmed that I had them and wouldn't miss this trip for anything she laughed. She seemed genuinely happy that I would be there for her. That's how she put it too, "I really need you to be there for me."
OK, I thought as I hung up the phone, I'm going to LA. On my TV the video version of Shannon was looking longingly at me as she pinched her nipples. I set a countdown to the flight on my computer.
Everything above seems like a geeky fantasy I'm sure but it's all true. I know nobody will believe me but I'm sure it will be even harder to believe that the flight was overbooked and I wound up getting bumped to another flight, and yes, I sat in first class.
I've been to Los Angeles a few times and I'm always surprised by how much I like that city. The hotel was nothing special, just your typical Marriott clone. When I got to the desk I was pretty tired and went right to my room. The message light was blinking.
There was that voice, "Hi, it's Shannon. We heard that you were going to be late. Call me when you get in."
I immediately dialed the room number she gave me. I was crestfallen when a man answered.
"I'm Frank. Shannon's in the shower but come on over."
"Nah, man. I think I'm gonna crash." No way did I want to sit around with Shannon and her boyfriend.
"No, you have to get over here. Look the rooms are all connected. Just open the door next to your closet."
Sure enough I opened the door to what looked like a makeshift photo studio. There was video equipment including a monitor, and a bunch of different cameras and light stands. Spread out on a table was a bunch of Polaroid shots and images of Shannon were playing on the video monitor.
Frank shook my hand. He was big, about 6'6" and had long stringy blonde hair. He was dressed completely in black: boots, jeans, and tee shirt. Instead of a belt he had a chain. I guessed I was meeting my first Hell's Angel. I made a note to be very polite and not even glance at Shannon since he obviously would stomp anybody with designs on his girl.
He was very friendly though, "You want room service? Or there's stuff in the frig there. Help yourself. We were just shooting tests for tomorrow. What do you think?" He gestured at the photos on the table.
I have to confess that I have spent many an hour studying the merits of various photographs of Shannon and a few other playmates, but until that moment no one had ever asked my expert opinion. I gave those Polaroids my full attention. Most were headshots and Shannon seemed to be experimenting with different ways to use her hair. In all the shots she had on a tight black tee shirt and jeans, must be the bikers' uniform. In just one shot she had a silly grin and the shirt pulled up to flash one of those incredibly kissable breasts.
All I could do though was stare into those hypnotic eyes. Were they blue, were they grey? Were they Asian? Even in the Polaroids they seemed to glow with an inner light and offered erotic pleasures merely in the opportunity to look deeply within their charms.
I must have really been standing there in a trance because I was startled out of my reverie by a feminine voice, "So what do you think?"