This is a parody... It is not real... R. I. P. Joanie I miss you
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There I was, looking at a Sex Time Machine... yes I said a Sex Time Machine... I have no clue how they came up with the name but, I saw it for sale on the internet and I bought it. I mean it's on the internet, so I figured it had to be legit... So I bought it. Got a good deal, I'm assuming... and hoping... I was still wondering about the name. I even asked the guy, who drove up from Englewood to deliver it. He didn't know. He said a dude paid him to deliver it to me. It seemed more legit, by the minute. Well, it was sitting in my living room so, I tried to make the best of it. Maybe I should watch more TV, or something else good for you, like that.
I sat on it, hoping their wasn't anything sticky. I looked it over. It was silver and blue, metallic, four blue knobs, a touch screen and a rather large, silver and blue lever, on the right side, kinda like a slot machine. Nothing out of the ordinary, for a time machine, so I felt more at ease.
I looked at the day, month, year and time of day knobs and thought about possible scenarios. I had a Chyna as She Hulk porn movie, that I was watching, on my tablet. I looked up the date of production, just for shits and giggles, as Austin Powers would say. I put in the date and time of day and for the hell of it, put in an old Vivid Video warehouse, I knew they filmed in before, on the destination touch screen. I took a deep breath, feeling really smart, grabbed the lever and pulled it. It started shaking, the room got blurry and I blacked out. I woke up, shortly after and tried to clear my head. I looked around and realized I was in a warehouse. NO FUCKING WAY! This thing actually worked? Holy crap, I love the internet, forget more TV.
I threw a blanket over the Sex Time Machine and walked around slowly. I saw a couple of people and HD cameras. I saw what looked like a small set, DAMN, it did work. I set out to find Chyna. I acted like I was in the movie. Nobody bothered me, so thank god for laziness. I finally saw a door with Chyna on it, so I knocked. "Come in." It was her voice. I'm a huge pro wrestling fan, so that voice was burned into my brain.
I opened the door and walked in. There she was, sitting in her director's chair, looking in the mirror, in full costume. She had on a white and purple striped, sleeveless and legless, bodysuit, black and purple striped gloves, white sneakers and socks and of course, full body, green makeup on. Her long black hair flowed down her back. She was one hot ass she hulk. "Hey, are you one of the actors I'm working with. I thought I met them already." She asked. I decided to play along.
"Yeah, one guy had to pull out. I'm the replacement. I showed the director my papers and tests." I smiled, hoping she bought it. She did. She smiled back.
"Good, you're really cute. Do you have a big cock?" She looked me over, smiling, with her arms folded. Her legs were crossed and she shook her right leg, it was on top, like Peg Bundy. I decided to cut to the chase and just show her. I pulled it out and her eyes widened, so did her smile.
"Oh yeah baby. It's really big. DAMN, I wish we could fool around. This damn makeup would get messed up though." She said, staring at my rock hard 10 thick inches.