Amanda Lewis stared vacantly at the empty doorway to the ER exam room where she had just watched Jack Nicholson stiffly walk out after she'd told him to go. She still couldn't quite believe that he'd actually left without any further argument...
What did you expect, Amanda... You hurt him every time you tell him that you know he's going to break your heart one day... You've never given him the benefit of the doubt...
Oh... do NOT start trying to make me feel guilty about that... You know damn well it would more than likely happen some time... maybe not for a while, but... eventually, he'd get around to being "Jack" again...
Yeah... the "Jack" you originally fell in love with... And now you're afraid to love him because he loves you?!!! You are one screwed up little bitch right now... It's no wonder he left so willingly...
Ohhhh... just... shut the fuck up...
Amanda laid back and rolled her head back and forth in confusion and pain as she waited for the ER staff to return and let her know when she could get the hell out of there...
**********
For weeks afterward, Amanda was on automatic pilot. She got up every morning and managed to eat something just so she would have enough energy to get through the day. She went to work, she efficiently performed her duties and acted professionally with her clients, but everyone noticed that she just wasn't her normal, cheerful self any more.
She went home in the evenings and Heather would do her best to get her to open up about her feelings or just try to cheer her up somehow. But she couldn't even get Amanda to go out with her any more... Heather was really worried about her friend, and put her plans for finding a place of her own on hold because she didn't want her to be alone. And Amanda hadn't asked her to leave...
The nights were the worst. Most of the time, Amanda just couldn't get to sleep because she couldn't get her mind to stop conjuring up thoughts of Jack and the memories of their weekend together and the night he'd spent making love to her in her bed... She so wanted to kick herself for being so stupid as to let him into her own bed...
No wonder she couldn't stop thinking about him and recalling every look... every touch... every kiss... every moan... every orgasm... Some nights she couldn't fall asleep because of the pain and emptiness she felt and some nights it was due to frustration...
Jack Nicholson had awoken a strong sensuality within her and she craved him... desperately. His beautiful hazel eyes... his sexy wolfish grin... his touch... his kiss... his body... his cock inside her... And his love... She could just kick herself for that, too...
She knew he was still with Anjelica because she'd read in one of the entertainment magazines that Ms. Huston's father had died toward the end of August and that Anjelica had been quoted as saying that "Jack's loving support had been a great comfort to her..."
Amanda had died a little more inside after reading that... but she had only herself to blame... she'd pushed him away... on purpose. And her traitorous mind kept reminding her of that every time she tried to blame Jack for the pain she was still feeling. She kept hoping that more time would eventually dull the pain so she could get back to some kind of "normal" life...
**********
Toward the end of October, Amanda was starting to feel a little stronger again, the pain was settling into a dull ache and she was eating and sleeping a little better. Heather managed to talk her into going to a Halloween party with her and Amanda had agreed only because she thought it might help to dress up and pretend to be someone else for a little while...
Heather had said she was going as "Barbie" but Amanda didn't want to have to act cheerful so she chose a darker character. She even found the perfect costume... a long, straight black dress in a clingy material that molded to her body with a plunging vee front that really showed off her cleavage. She applied makeup to make her skin look deathly pale but accentuated her dark eyes and her full lips and donned a wig of long, straight, jet black hair.
When she walked out of her bedroom to leave for the party, Heather looked at her and laughed. "Who are you supposed to be... Elvira, Mistress of the Dark? If so, the hair's not quite right!"
Amanda deepened her voice and purred throatily, "No, darling... I'm Morticia Addams." Heather laughed again when she affected the quick, shuffling walk portrayed by Carolyn Jones who'd played the character in the Addams Family TV show that they'd both watched as children. Then she turned back toward Heather and copied the slightly sexy pose of leaning to one side with her hip cocked provocatively and casually folded her arms under her breasts. "Shall we go, darling?" she purred at Heather again before turning to head for the door.
She wasn't as thin as Ms. Jones had looked on the TV show, but she had lost a bit of weight... which only served to accentuate her full breasts, her rounded hips and her shapely ass. She wasn't paying any attention to how many men stared at her as she entered the nightclub that was hosting the Halloween costume party.
Amanda found a chair near the end of the bar in the corner and parked herself on it, not planning to leave it until Heather was ready to go home. She had agreed to come mainly to appease her friend because she couldn't stand seeing the worried look in Heather's eyes any more. She had hoped if she could pretend to have fun for a little while, it would make Heather feel better.