He paused as he closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath... knowing he'd just risked everything by admitting that to himself. But it was too late now...
"Jack... what's wrong?" he heard her ask softly as her hand traveled from his back around to his chest and up to his cheek.
He opened his eyes to stare down at her... doing his best to hide the depth of his feelings from her. He didn't want to confuse her any more than he was sure she already was. She had to be... hell, he was more confused than he'd ever felt in his life... and he was almost fifty years old!
He plastered on one of his wolfish grins. "Nothin's wrong, my love... just tryin' to draw this out a little longer, that's all. I mean... if you want me to get it over with quick, I think I could oblige if you're that desperate. Is your greedy little pussy that desperate, Amanda?"
She smiled softly, "No, Jack... I'm not desperate when you're inside me. I'm only desperate to get you inside me! Now you can take your time and fuck me as slowly as you want... I love feeling your cock fucking me... hard and fast or soft and slow... it all feels so good... " She moaned sensuously and arched her back as he resumed stroking into her.
"Oh, God, Jack... that's sooo gooood!!!" she groaned as he made slow, deep thrusts inside her.
He took advantage of her head being tilted backward to bend down and nibble and lick on her lovely, long neck and soft shoulders. She shivered and moaned when his teeth and tongue grazed the sensitive skin right at the juncture of her neck and shoulders. He kept his mouth planted in that sensitive spot for a few moments and just swirled his tongue softly. Suddenly, Amanda moaned as her arms clenched around him as her back arched even further and he felt her pussy softly throbbing on his dick.
He'd made her come again. He trailed his lips up her neck, along her jaw and across her left cheek to her full, parted lips. He rested his lips against hers and said softly, "Look at me, Amanda." She just barely slit her eyes open. "This is all I can give you, sweet girl. I can fuck you and make you come as many times as you want me to, but that is all I can offer you. Do you understand?" She nodded slowly.
He rewarded her by parting her lips and stroking his tongue into her mouth in the same slow rhythm as he was stroking his cock inside her. She rewarded him by relaxing completely and accepting his body into hers. Her hips cradled his perfectly and thrust in concert with him... her arms and hands stroked and kneaded his back and shoulders so sensuously... her lips and tongue told him without words how she felt about him.
Even though he couldn't tell her that he wasn't just fucking her, he knew that she understood... he was making love to her with his body. He couldn't let his heart be involved, but his body knew how to worship her.
He kept telling himself over and over that the aching in the pit of his stomach that sent warm waves of emotion radiating throughout his chest was simply the pleasure he was deriving from her body. The tightness in his chest every time he kissed her deeply and heard her soft whimpers and moans was simply his guilt gnawing at him knowing that he was going to walk away from her when this weekend was over. That's all it was...
But he knew better...
And he was right about the confusion. Amanda was growing more and more confused by the minute. Jack kept telling her that all he could give her was sex and pleasure, which he most definitely was. But what he was doing to her at the moment felt like so much more than just sex...
His every movement seemed to convey tenderness... his slow, deep kisses made her heart ache for him even more... The look in his eyes when he would lift his head to watch her when she moaned and arched against him as he thrust deeply inside her was more than just lust... his eyes held passion and desire for her as well...
Amanda knew she was still somewhat naïve about the different emotions that could be involved with sex. Her main motivation for wanting to have sex with Jack Nicholson was because she had been infatuated with him for years and felt she was in love with him and she hoped to walk away with a piece of him. But she knew that sometimes people had sex for lots of different reasons... even when they were angry.
Several times she'd heard her mother and father arguing... usually because her mother was accusing him of molesting her. Her father would yell at her, "Goddamn it, Carol! How could you accuse me of something like that! You know how much I love my little girl and I'd never do something so sick and evil! You know damn well you're the only woman I've ever loved! And I still want you... even though you're bein' such a bitch and throwing these idiotic accusations at me! Why else would my cock be hard? I'm standing here, staring at your blazing eyes and your heaving breasts because you're pissed at me and I still want you! Do ya feel that, Carol? That's because of YOU... not Amanda!"
Then she'd heard her mother make an angry, frustrated cry and the sound of their headboard banging against the wall when her father threw her onto the bed. Then moments later, she'd heard the sounds of both of them groaning loudly... Now she knew why. Her parents had shared a very good sex life... when her mother wasn't wasting her time wallowing in jealousy over the time her father spent with her.
That was why Amanda had promised herself that she'd never let jealousy be an emotion that she'd waste her time on. That was why she could so easily accept the type of man Jack Nicholson was and that she'd be perfectly content to take whatever time and attention he wanted to give her. That was why she readily accepted that when it was over, she would walk away without any regrets.
But she was confused now because Jack seemed confused about what was going on between them. He seemed awfully damned concerned about her getting hurt. Well... how could he hurt her when she's known from the beginning that he didn't love her? She went into this with her eyes wide open, knowing full well that he just wanted to have a good time and share some great sex with her...
But what they were sharing at the moment wasn't sex... Amanda was giving her body to him completely, including her whole heart. But his eyes were pleading with her to give up her soul as well...
She felt a lump in her throat. That wasn't part of her plan. If she gave up her soul to him, she'd never be able to just walk away. She'd turn into a simpering, jealous woman who'd end up hating him because she knew he'd eventually move on to someone else. She wanted to just keep loving him for who he was... And that meant... she could not give up her soul.
Amanda closed her eyes and threw every ounce her strength into her body's movements with him. She reached down with her hands to grasp his firmly muscled backside and help him plunge harder and deeper inside her.
Jack closed his eyes and groaned sensually as her hands kneaded and massaged his ass. He followed her unspoken directions and gradually increased the speed and forcefulness of his thrusting. It seemed that she had agreed with him... sex was all she was expecting from him... it was all she wanted from him.
His body had very nearly betrayed him. It was forcing him to acknowledge the depth of his feelings for her and he had hoped to see some kind of acknowledgment of that from her. But her only response had been to close her eyes and grab his ass to shove his dick further into her. Fine. If that was all she wanted from him, then that was what she'd get!
Jack lifted up on his left elbow and reached down with his right hand to grab Amanda's left thigh and pull her leg up until he could get his forearm propped under her knee. He lifted her thigh as high and wide as he could and continued to plow into her as deeply as possible. She moaned loudly with each of his inward thrusts, her hands still on his ass, urging him on... harder and deeper... her body writhing and thrusting with his.
He gritted his teeth as he suddenly felt the ache in the pit of his stomach turn into a knot of anger. He slammed his dick into her and was still for a moment. "Is this why you came lookin' for me, Amanda?" He pulled back and slammed into her again. "Because you just want my dick in your pussy?" And again. "You're a smart girl... because this is all I want, too!" And again. "Just to fuck you... over and over... and over... and over..."
"Goddamn it, Amanda..." he whispered as he dropped his forehead to her right shoulder and continued thrusting steadily and deeply as he felt an orgasm building. The knot of anger had unclenched and was turning into an ache again. He was lost when she moved her arms up to cling to him once more, lifting her right leg to wrap it around his ass in place of her hands. She was still moaning with his every thrust, each one getting a little louder and he increased the intensity as his climax approached.
He lost it completely when Amanda moaned loudly, "Yes, JACK! Fuck me harder! Make me come! OH, GOD, JACK... I love you..." she'd finished in a hoarse whisper as her pussy clenched around him. He erupted inside her with a loud growl.
"Ah fuck, sweet girl... Ohhhhh yeaaahhh..." he moaned softly as his orgasm subsided. He collapsed on top of her and she held him tightly as they both recovered. Then he lifted his head to look at her.
They both smiled softly... neither one of them wanting to move... neither one of them wanting to think about how many confusing thoughts and feelings they'd just experienced.
Jack looked over at the digital clock beside the bed. It was nearly midnight... they'd been making love... if he could still call it that... for over an hour. He knew they'd both be better off if they continued to think of what they were doing as just sex... giving each other pleasure and having some fun together. The problem was... he seemed to be having more trouble with that than she.
