Note- More imaginative fun with Scarlett Johansson as famous detective Sherlock Holmes accompanied by Emma Watson. This tale is loosely based on Conan Doyle's 'The Red Headed League' and 'A Case of Identity.'
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'The Adventure of the Red Headed Sex League'
London, 1890
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"Have you ever had the good fortune to participate in a sex orgy Doctor Watson?"
My mouth gaped open like a fish out of water and I dropped that days issue of the Times newspaper to the carpet as I contemplated the sudden question. I looked at Scarlett Holmes as she bent to the fireplace and lit a taper which she intended to use to relight her clay pipe.
"What a question! NO, I have never been to, seen one, nor have I taken part in something so debauched!"
The beautiful woman turned and stared at me with those ocean green eyes of hers that I have come to love, and pouted with those oh so kissable lips. Blessed with comely features and buttery blonde locks I felt my heart flutter at the sight of the exceedingly adorable creature.
"'Tis the singular most curious aspect of our society, under the reign of good Queen Victoria, that we appear to be repressed and chaste in the public eye and yet are the most inventive and voracious race behind closed doors. I myself have partaken in numerous sex orgies and do recall the most depraved time in Paris when...no matter, a tale for another time."
This statement bore the semblance of truth to me and it was only last night that the seductive woman brought me off to no less than three orgasms inside of one hour.
"'Pon my soul, Holmes. You just cannot mention things such as these and leave me dangling! Tell all, tell all!"
The pair of us were in cosy surroundings of the central London lodgings of 221B Baker Street, myself being a most frequent visitor. Scarlett sat in her favourite chair and gazed into the flickering flames of the fire. It was Winter of 1890 and we were once more without a case to solve. Something that I knew nagged at the most successful practising private detective in all of England and Europe. I was seated opposite and gave my love my fullest attention.
"I shall explain all later, I am expecting a visitor within the hour, though the hour is late indeed, but the lady in question demands discreetness of a personal nature. Ah! Here she comes methinks."
There came a tap on the door and Mister Hudson announced the arrival of Miss Mary Sutherland. The large woman wore a waist length coat and a floor length skirt and a very large hat with curling yellow feather. Once seated by the fire she removed the broad brimmed hat to reveal her natural ginger curls. She removed her button up gloves and placed her hands in her lap.
"Miss Holmes, good evening."
Scarlett had vacated her chair for the visitor and relit her black clay pipe as she nodded hello.
"Miss Sutherland. I know nothing of you of course apart from the obvious facts that you are a typist by profession, you left your home in a hurry, and that you have a preference for masturbating a male to ejaculation rather than use fellatio."
Both myself and Miss Sutherland gave violent starts upon hearing Scarlett's observations.
"How on earth do you know these facts? Has someone told you about me?"
Holmes laughed heartily.
"My dear woman, it is my business to know things. But pray tell me why you need to consult me."
The private detective sat on the arm of my chair and discreetly fondled my hair which I had lay loose about my shoulders.
"I did rush out of the house, it's true. You see I have a substantial income from a fund set up by my late father. I have been engaged to a handsome young fellow for the last twelve months. He is of a measurable social standing and it is he who has now vanished, taking all of my monies. I fell in love with him from day one and later learned that Mister Homer Angel has a voracious appetite for all things carnal. We slept together in sin I am ashamed to admit, but found out he could only ejaculate by either oral stimulation or hand relief. He has become quite obsessed recently with a group of women named 'The Red Headed Sex League. Do you know of it?"
"I confess I do not. Watson?"
I shook my head, still in awe of the marvellous woman sitting next to me.
"It is a group of high class prostitutes, courtesans, call girls, call them what you will. They cater to the rich and powerful and will do anything of an illicit nature. Their sexual prowess is remarkable and there is a long waiting list for invitations to their meetings. And they all possess red tresses AND red pubic hair. All clients they cater for must also be red headed too."
"How fascinating!" Said Scarlett who began to lean forward, licking her fulsome lips.
"My Homer was intrigued by the group, he has a high sex drive, and loves red haired ladies with a passion. Using his beguiling charms on me he persuaded me to model for the businesswoman who formed the group, Miss Stephanie. Well, with my very full and rich tint of red hair, and my buxom figure, I was accepted at once. My fiancΓ© was ecstatic and with me as an honorary member we attended a few orgies inside of two months."
Miss Sutherland drew out a handkerchief and dabbed at her watering eyes.
"I was at once horrified and disgusted at what was expected of me. The ruling class are fearfully self indulgent to say the least. Oral sex with men AND women. Anal sex, threesomes and multiple partners, oh! The list goes on. And Homer! Homer was in heaven as he gorged himself in all manner of licentious pleasure. I quit after I could take no more, which is when Homer relieved me of my funds and took off. I suspect he plans to return to the League in order to indulge in his fetish of red haired females and promiscuous sex. Without me however he must pay for the privilege, and I am positive he will."
"Hence his theft of the money." I said.
"Precisely. Now. He is not red headed, nor does he have red pubic hair. His skin is of a most sensitive type and would never stand a dye to alter his sandy coloured pubic thatch. Miss Holmes, may I be so bold as to license you to attend the next orgy in an attempt to uncover Homer and thereby retrieve my money. I will be happy to give you half of my fortune."
"But surely it would be a trite matter for your good self to expose him. Snatch off his red wig I would presume."
Scarlett went to the window and gazed at the dull street below through the parted blinds as I spoke to the woman in an abrupt manner. How dare she invite my beloved to indulge in such a lecherous affair.
"The next meeting is a Venetian Masquerade Ball in a weeks time and masks are compulsory, so his features will be obscured. Unless he is exposed in the act of sexual intercourse I fear he will never be discovered.
"I'll do it."
Scarlett turned to us and I saw her gorgeous eyes afire as she beamed at us.
"My word Holmes! You plan to participate in corrupt and unchaste behaviour just to find a missing person?"
"Gladly!" Came her reply. "And I will need your help."
"WHAT! I?"
"I would very much like your support in this Doctor. I just might be in over my depth. And we shall have to dye our hair too. Above AND below! Lucky you've a nice downy fluff down there my love. Oh, the thrill of the chase!"
"Good gracious!" I stammered as Miss Sutherland clapped her hands and left.
I stood up and paced the room as I perceived Scarlett laughing non stop and her ample bosom jiggle in her high buttoned dress.
"Most amusing! Most peculiar! This may be one of my more decadent cases in a long time. We must prepare diligently." "But Holmes, how did you deduce those things about the woman, not least her masturbatory preference? Whatever you read in her was invisible to me."
"Ah, my dear Emma. You see all but see nothing. I saw plainly that the lady had dressed in a hurry as her boots were odd. One had a plain toe, the other decorated. Her gloves were buttoned only in the two lower buttons and I perceived a double line on her long sleeves at the wrist where a typist presses against the table when using the machine."
"Remarkable!" I cried.
"Elementary, my dear Watson."
"And the method of hand job as opposed to a blow job? How the deuce can you possibly know that?"
"By the fact that her right hand was considerably larger than the left, a result of vigorous and repeated use to bring about her lovers, and her red haired clients, to sexual climax."
Scarlett leaned back in her chair and studied the ceiling. "Now, tell me this. Have you ever had anal sex?"
"I confess that I have never taken it in the ass, Holmes."
"We shall have to break your cherry in that area then if we are to take part in the years biggest orgy the city has seen. I am certain that oral, heterosexual and multiple partner sex will occur. If we are to blend in then we have to be prepared for the inevitable. Mister Hudson! Hudson!!"