Saving Sandra

Codes- MF, oral, mature, interracial, light bdsm.

Intro- This story is adult fiction meant for mature open minds in a safe environment. It is also parody written for entertainment purposes only. It includes graphic sex and violence. Be further aware that some characters are based on real people, including the celebrities Sandra Bullock and Matthew McConaghey. These characters are not meant to reflect the real people who inspired them, only alternate universe versions specific to my fiction's alternate reality. Said reality is also an urban fantasy type world, which should adequately explain the inclusion of Faerie Alien Hybrids, dragons in humanoid form, and other unrealistic elements in this tale. I have made up all the specific exploits of characters based on real people herein, though I have included some real life history as reference. The Gruber crime family belong to the makers of the Die Hard film series- they and their nefarious deeds are borrowed for fanfiction purposes. The likenesses of Ryan Gosling and other actors are also borrowed for fanfiction purposes. If you object to any of this listed content, please do not read the story.

If you do read the story and enjoy it, feedback is appreciated. Thanks in advance.

***

Fantasy Casting (prominent character roles)-

Doug Ramsay- Seann William Scott (or Ryan Gosling if you don't think Seann William Scott looks enough like Ryan Gosling for the role).

Sonya Lakestrider- Kimberly Norris Guerrero.

Del Dawson- K. Todd Freeman.

Calvin Wayne Bailey- Thomas Kretschmann.

Jim Wright- Ving Rhames.

Sandra Bullock, Matthew McConaghey- Themselves.

Tony Gruber- Max Irons.

Salvatore the Salamander- Danny Trejo.

Theo- Clarence Gilyard.

Uli- Al Leong.

Lori the Publicist- Mercedes McNab.

Silvan Farrow- Mel Brooks.

***

Austin, TX. March 2002.

Working as a Sheriff's Deputy in the capital city of Texas had its merits.

That was the fact on Doug Ramsay's mind as he sat in the study of Sandra Bullock's Austin mansion, waiting to meet the A-list Hollywood star.

Of course, he admitted to himself, I'm not your average law enforcement officer. I'm lucky enough to be the rookie trainee of Sonya Lakestrider, a skilled female Native American Deputy who has consulted Sandra Bullock on how to portray a tough as nails law enforcement officer similar to her in multiple recent films. Like Lakestrider and Sandra, I'm also a member of the Friendship, a benevolent secret society that tries to further the positive exchange of knowledge and pleasure around the world. This has enabled me to get enough recognition to be asked personally by Lakestrider to work security at Sandra's house party this weekend, and to be invited to this mansion to meet Sandra personally a few days prior. Lakestrider says Sandra's a Viceroy, a mid-ranking member of the Friendship. And she needs a special personal favor from me. I wonder what it could be.

He tried to distract himself from the surreal situation. After all, he reminded himself, he had been hired by local celebrities to work security at such parties before. Austin was full of resident politicians, popular musicians, skilled athletes, and movie stars like Sandra Bullock. They regularly hosted various galas and other events and hired local off-duty law enforcement as security. Doug had done a few such security gigs in the last several months since he'd been hired by Travis County.

But of course I've never been offered a chance to personally meet one of the celebrities who hired me as security before, he amended. This has to be some kind of fluke, right? Just like pulling over race car driver Danica Patrick back in December and then getting into a brief casual dating relationship with her... No, he shook his head. That won't happen again. Sandra Bullock is hot as hell, but she's also fifteen years my senior and way out of my league. No way she'll want to date me. I have a regular girlfriend also, even if she does want to date me. No way anything will happen between us. I should just accept the chance to meet Sandra and be thankful for it, give her the favor she needs if I can. I shouldn't dare to hope for anything more.

Still, he checked his looks in the room's wall mirror by reflex. He was a brown-haired young man in his early twenties with blue eyes shaded by horn-rimmed glasses and a stocky dancer's body. He looked as good in a black blazer jacket and suit as he did in uniform. At least, his girlfriend Angie Messina had told him he looked good when she checked him over earlier that morning before he drove to Sandra Bullock's mansion. She'd also reminded him of their open relationship, Doug recalled, and his free pass to date celebrity women if they were interested in him. Doug had laughed at Angie's bravado and told her no way good fortune like that would come his way more than once in his life. Danica Patrick had been a one in a million crazy fluke, and something like that happening again...

He shook his head and took out his phone, deciding to catch up on the digital book he was reading. Sandra had already kept him waiting fifteen minutes. It might be more time yet.

Then the creak of the room's door caught his attention. Doug looked up and saw two imposing figures in dark suits walking into the room. The first was Marvin Jefferson, the elderly black butler who managed Sandra Bullock's Austin household. He had admitted Doug to the mansion fifteen minutes ago and led him to the study. The second was his hard-boiled training officer Sonya Lakestrider, who was dressed in a plainclothes black suit like Doug. He stood up to greet them.

His training officer was smiling at him with her usual patient pride. "Thanks for coming, Doug," Lakestrider said.

"Uh, no problem, Deputy Lakestrider," Doug said. He always greeted the older attractive Native American woman by her title and last name and believed he would do so no matter how long they worked together. It seemed the best way to show her respect. "Thanks for inviting me here." He looked at the butler. "Hello again, uh, Marvin. Is, uh, Ms. Bullock almost ready to tell me what this is about?"

"She'll meet with you soon, sir," the butler assured him. "I'll leave you two alone till then." He nodded at them both, then left the room.

"Can you tell me what this is about?" Doug asked Lakestrider. "You said Sandra Bullock needed a personal favor from me in your text. But you haven't explained what she wants even when I called you last night and asked you. That butler guy has similarly refused."

Lakestrider looked him up and down, then reached out and brushed a speck of dust off his jacket. "You'll understand when Sandra explains things to you. You are a fan of hers, right?"

"Of course," Doug replied, smiling. "I've seen her in a lot of great films. Love Potion Number Nine, Speed, Demolition Man, Practical Magic, Hope Floats, Miss Congeniality, most recently Murder by Numbers... you were an acting consultant for her on those last two films, right?"

"Before you and I started working together, yes," Lakestrider replied, nodding at his recollection. She looked Doug over again, then brushed another speck of dust off his suit. "You want a breath mint?"

"Uh, do I need one?" Doug asked nervously.

Lakestrider smiled and shook her head. "No, your breath smells fine. Just testing your confidence. How are things with you and your... how many girlfriends do you have again?"

"Angie and I are fine," Doug answered with a shrug. "As you know, she's my only primary girlfriend since Lisa left town to study at USC back in January. All the other girls I date are primarily with other partners. And they'll be moving out of town soon too. Boris and Elena have accepted jobs at a casino resort in Oklahoma starting next month. Shauna and Tara's accounting business is taking off also- they're moving to Odessa to handle some oil company jobs. Stephanie and Keith left town last fall to work in San Francisco. I have no other regular girlfriends."

"Not even Danica Patrick?"

"We were only dating casually," Doug reminded Lakestrider. "It's over now that she's left town. Might resume if she ever passes this way again, but... I'm not holding my breath. Before long, she'll meet someone able to commit to her more than I can, and that will be the end of things between us."

Doug did not add that he'd recently received an email from Danica saying it was indeed over between them. A nice doctor she knew had asked her out, she thought they had a serious connection, and that was that. Oh well, Doug reminded himself, it was too crazy to last anyway. A famous woman and a young cop like him? No way that could last long.

"You and Angie aren't fighting right now?" Lakestrider gave him a hard look. "I know you were off and on a lot while Lisa was still in town."

That was because Lisa and I got together first, Doug quietly reminded himself with a sigh. Angie has a competitive streak and clingy issues, they make things difficult for us at times. "Our ongoing issues are... settled at the moment. Why are you asking me this, Lakestrider?"

"You'll soon find out," his training officer replied calmly. "Marvin is getting Sandra right now and she will tell you everything. In the meantime... congratulations on passing your probation, Doug. I planned to tell you next week when we're back on duty and Sheriff Frasier can make it official, but since it's basically almost that time anyway... congratulations."

"Thank you, Lakestrider," Doug beamed. "That's... great. I'm glad I passed."

"You earned it." Lakestrider smiled back at him. "Don't let it go to your head." She straightened up visibly as the room's door opened again. Doug at once did the same.

Marvin walked back in, trailed by an elegant dark-haired woman in her mid-thirties wearing an expensive black dress suit. Her slender figure and deep brown eyes caught Doug's attention as she walked up to him. Doug recognized Sandra Bullock instantly. He shook her hand firmly when she extended it. "Ms. Bullock, hello, I'm Deputy Doug Ramsay. It's... an honor to meet you, milady."

Sandra released his hand, looked him over, then smiled. "Good to meet you also, Deputy Ramsay. Sonya was right. You're just the lookalike I need."

"Uh, pardon?"

Sandra waved him to take a seat on her couch while she walked over to the room's large desk. "How much do you know about show business, Deputy Ramsay?"

Doug frowned, not liking the way Sandra was sizing him up with her dark eyes. He sat on the couch beside Lakestrider after a moment of hesitation. "Well, I know there's no business like it, no business I know."

"There's few businesses more annoying. You always have to follow a script. Sometimes I wish I were still a bartender or a coat check girl." Sandra released a heavy sigh and took a folder out of her desk drawer. "There's no easy way to say this, Deputy. I need you to help me fool the tabloids and a stalker by impersonating my boyfriend at the gala party this weekend."

"Y-your..." Doug was stammering suddenly. "Y-your b-boyfriend...?"

"Ryan Gosling, my co-star in Murder by Numbers," Sandra explained, walking back towards him. She handed Doug the folder. "If you don't know, he's a Canadian actor about your age, sixteen years younger than me. Real charmer of a guy, and good in bed while it lasted."

"Sixteen years younger than..."

"Call me a 'cougar' if you want, Deputy. The tabloids already do." Sandra shook her head. "What can I say? I was tempted by Ryan and dating a younger man was fun for a time. We're broken up as of last month since our schedules don't intersect as much after our movie premiered. But the press still thinks we're dating and I can't announce to the world that we're over while our movie is popular. The producers won't allow us to publicize our breakup for at least another month. It will distract from their planned script."

She shook her head. "There's also a mentally disturbed stalker named Calvin Wayne Bailey threatening us both. Ryan can't attend the party this weekend, he has another party in Vancouver hosted by a director whose opinion is more important to him than mine. But I need him there for the producers' script and to trap Bailey. Last month Bailey showed up at our local 'Murder by Numbers' premiere and attacked Ryan with a sucker punch out of nowhere. He punched back and laid Bailey out. But then Bailey recovered and ran away. On top of that, this jerk tabloid reporter named Gary Parker got some shots of the fight and it looked like Ryan started it. We had to get the Friendship to suppress the story." She threw up her hands. "Ryan's not a bad guy, but he doesn't want a reputation as a violent individual. Can you understand that?"

"Uh, yeah." Doug was grimacing. He looked at the folder. It was full of pictures of Ryan Gosling- Doug had to admit he did look a bit like the Canadian actor. Ryan's hair was lighter and their noses had different shapes, but with the right makeup... yeah, Doug could pass for Ryan Gosling. "You need me to... be this other guy?"

"Yes, Deputy," Sandra nodded. "There's enough info in that file to allow you to impersonate Ryan before the press for a few hours, including a few questions I've anticipated. If anyone asks you something only the real Ryan would know, go ahead and out yourself as a lookalike stunt double. People who belong at the party will understand what's going on. Sonya tells me you use that British accent to correct a speech impediment. Go ahead and keep using it. We'll say Ryan is practicing accents for his next role. You can pass for Ryan at a distance with the right makeup. You have prescription sunglasses?"

"Uh, yeah..."

"Ryan wears such glasses in public a lot. You should do the same at the party. Sonya also says you're trained in martial arts and you've dated at least one other celebrity, so you know the proper discretion I need for this. The stalker Bailey- you'll find a file on him tucked in there with Ryan's- has a record of showing up at my recent public events and making spectacles. Security can't always keep him out, and I'm still gathering evidence for a court case. Parker has a press pass, and I can't ask him or other tabloid jokers not to attend the gala. If Bailey shows up and attacks you, he'll be going after a police officer on special assignment to protect me."

"That's true, by the way," Lakestrider put in. "I already cleared the assignment with our Captain and Sheriff Frasier. This assignment can't be publicized for obvious reasons, but if you're willing..."

"I'll pay you half a million dollars for services rendered." Sandra made a Friendship gesture. "You'll have a good word in with our Society too, should you ever need one."

Doug did not see any reason to refuse the assignment. He could still hardly believe it was real, though. "Um, Ms. Bullock, how much security will you have at this event?"

"Ten off-duty cops and other private security on the perimeter, another ten or so officers in plainclothes inside the party itself. That will include you and Sonya, along with some other cops and bodyguards hired by local celebrities who will be there. The press are idiots- they'll believe you're Ryan and so will Bailey. Until it's too late, of course, and the trap is sprung. When Bailey shows up, you can counter his punch better than Ryan can and we can trap him."

Lakestrider interjected another point. "Stalking a woman, even a famous woman like Sandra, isn't as much of a felony as assaulting a police officer. And even if Bailey doesn't know what you are, ignorance of the law is no defense."

Sandra nodded her agreement. "If he shows, you arrest him quietly and he goes to jail for a serious crime. If he doesn't show... you still get paid. I know this might sound nuts to you, Deputy, but I've had it with Bailey. He's crazy. He thinks I belong with him and he's entitled to sex with me."

"Does he actually know you?"

"Not as a friend. He worked for me as a production assistant on Miss Congeniality, but there was never anything between us but the job. Then he started sending me obscene letters during production. I got him fired, but he won't go away. Hopefully he shows up at the gala and you can arrest him. I don't need you to get physical with me at the party, just stand near me and let the press and Bailey think you're Ryan till we spring the trap. When Bailey shows up, you take him down. Do I have your cooperation?"

"Of course, milady," Doug answered with a smile. "What time will I need to be there?"

***

Three days later, Sandra's party was in full swing. Many Hollywood and Austin celebrities were mingling around a bar and snack table set up around her outdoor swimming pool along with their families and various hangers-on. The mansion perimeter was staffed by cops in uniform, just as promised. Doug was one of the indoor plainclothes security, just as Sandra had hired him to be.

A few press agents had already presumed him to be Ryan Gosling, photographed him standing near Sandra or arm in arm with her, and then moved on. Doug had spotted the weasel-faced blonde journalist Gary Parker and allowed him to take a few of the pictures. He also was pleased to see the brown-haired hippie in a tan suit who was Gary's assistant. That man was Baxter Page, a local tabloid correspondent Doug personally knew as an ethical journalist and fellow member of the Friendship. He would drive the press narrative with Gary if the weasel tried to take things the wrong way again.

The party had been mostly uneventful so far. The majority of the guests bought that he was Ryan Gosling and those who didn't buy it believed the stunt double explanation. They did not ask about the stunt that was planned. People in the film industry could understand the need to hide spoilers and scripted events before the proper time. Doug appreciated their discretion.

He also appreciated the chance to meet other famous personalities at the party. Two directors Sandra knew had told him if he ever wanted to work for them as security or a Ryan Gosling lookalike, they could set him up. The same was true of three film producers. And Matthew McConaghey, Sandra's co-star from the legal thriller A Time to Kill, was currently standing near Doug at the bar chatting about his recent films while Doug kept watch for the stalker Bailey. The jovial tall thin brown-haired actor in his early thirties was dressed in a red plaid shirt and black felt pants that would have looked ridiculous on anyone else.

"It was great working with Jennifer Lopez in The Wedding Planner," Matthew McConaghey was telling Doug. "You want to meet her, she'll be in Austin for my party in June. I'm also filming another romantic comedy with Kate Hudson that should come out next year. You like her?"

"Loved her work in Almost Famous," Doug answered. "Yeah, I wouldn't mind meeting her. Will she be at your party too?"

"Yeah," Matthew replied, adjusting his sunglasses. "You introduce me to that partner of yours- the hot Native American cop lady who's worked with Sandra- and I'll help you meet Jennifer and Kate."

Why don't you just have Sandra introduce you to Lakestrider? Doug almost asked. Then he decided not to question his good fortune. "Sure, Matt. Uh, I can call you that, right?"

"Matthew's fine. Hey, there's nothing physical between you and that hottie partner of yours, right?"

"Uh, no. In case you haven't noticed, Lakestrider is more your age and Sandra's than mine. I don't usually go for older women. Even with that, there's the whole matter of her being my training officer. That makes things just too weird for both of us to turn our relationship into anything more than platonic."

"Okay, I get that. I'm between girlfriends right now and we don't work together, so I'll gladly go for her if she's interested. By the way, you want to get with Sandra, she's into younger men. She was with Ryan over a year. We were a thing too during the filming of our movie- she's about five years up on me if you didn't know."