Rules of Engagement

This is a new series of television shows that I watch. These are fantasies of the shows as I wish would appear on television. I will list the cast members and their television show names at the beginning of each episode that I write about. I hope you enjoy and join in my TV fantasies. To view any of the stars check out IMDB.com

If you are looking for a perfectly written story, please leave NOW!! I never said I was a great writer, but I do consider myself a very imaginative writer, so please forgive spelling and punctuation.

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Cast of Rules of Engagement; Patrick Warburton -- Jack; Megyn Price -- Audrey; Oliver Hudson -- Adam; Bianca Kajlick -- Jennifer; David Spade -- Russell; Guest Star; Heather Locklear -- Barbara (Audrey's sister).

Adam, Russell and Jack are sitting at a table at the diner. Russell starts; "Hey Jack, I have a date with Audrey's baby sister tonight, so if you will please stay out of the apartment if there's a sock on the doorknob."

Jack in his monotone voice; "If we come home and there's a sock on my doorknob, it will be around your neck next. Audrey told me to tell you to stay away from her little sister. She's just coming off her breakup with her husband and she's very venerable."

Russell laughed; "I'm counting on it. I'll be there to comfort her and take care of all her needs."

Adam looked at Jack' "Euuuuuu! So tell me Jack, are you and Audrey ready for that play tonight?"

Jack looked puzzled; "Play, what play?"

"Jen invited Audrey last week to a new play off Broadway and Audrey said the two of you would love to join us."

"See Adam, that's why you have to put your foot down, Audrey and I would never ask you to join us in something so boring."

"Well we're stuck now; Jen and I will be at your place around six to pick you up."

"Isn't there anything we can do to get out of this? Wouldn't you rather go to the sports bars and watch the game?"

"Yeah, but we already promised Jen we'd go."

"Just leave it to me, I'll get us out of it and we'll be in the bar sipping a beer before the curtain goes up."

Russell jumps in; "Oooooh devious, I love it, just remember Barb and I will be at your place watching a movie."

Jack shook his head; "Audrey will kill you, what movie did you get?"

Russell rubbed his hands, "Daddy has his way with daughter and the all time classic, Cum with Mommy!"

Adam blurted out again; "Euuuuuu!"

"Russell if you get anything on my couch, I'll make you lick it off."

Russell laughed, "Oh Jack don't get me excited, and anyways we'll probably use the floor or the bedroom."

"STAY OUT OF MY BEDROOM!"

Jack was dressed in his black suit and Audrey was dressed in a two piece red skirt suit. The skirt ended at mid-thigh and the jacket barely contained her large DD tits. Her long blonde hair was up, exposing her long shapely neck.

There was a knock on the door and Jack went to answer it, it was Russell.

"Oh it's you."

Audrey chimed in, "Russell if you try to take advantage of my baby sister I'll have Jack kill you. Russell, my eyes are up here, quit staring at my tits."

"Put those puppies away and I will. God Audrey, what I wouldn't do for a few minutes with those gorgeous tits."

"Jack, kill him now!"

Russell jumped away and just then Barbara, Audrey's baby sister came into the room; 'Hi Russell, great to see you again. So what do we have planned for this evening?"

"Well I thought that seeing mom and dad here would be out we could stay in and watch a couple of movies."

He handed Barb the DVD's in a plain brown bag. She opened them and smiled when she read the titles. Putting them back in the bag she moved over to him and kissed him lightly on the lips; "Well Russell, I see you brought my favorite genre."

Audrey reached for the bag; "Let me see?"

"No, no Audrey, you and Jack better get on your way. Russell and I have movies to watch."

Audrey shook her head; "Barb watch out for this pervert, just don't do anything I wouldn't do."

Russell laughed; "Well Barb, I guess that means anything goes!"

Audrey slapped Russell playfully; "Lets go Jack, we don't want to keep Jennifer and Adam waiting."

"Yeah, great!" Jack blurted out as they closed the door.

Getting to Jennifer and Jack's apartment Audrey knocked on the door; "Now I know this isn't your favorite way to spend the evening, but please try and be civil."

"I'll try."

Adam opened the door dressed in a dark blue suit. Behind him stood the stunning Jennifer, dressed in a back and white print wrap around dress, belted at the waist. The dress ended nearly at her knees, but on top her large full breasts threatened to separate the dress at any moment. Her chestnut brown hair hung down across her chest in long waves.

Jack glanced at them and tried desperately not to stare.

The four of them left for the theater and once arrived Jack took Adam aside; "Here's my plan, I found a couple who really want to see this play, imagine that. I'll tell Audrey that they begged me to sell them the tickets and seeing we want to make visitors to New York happy you and I offered them our tickets. What do you think?"

"What the hell, let's give it a try."

Audrey, this couple here are in trouble. Someone stole their tickets and they really wanted to see this okay. It's their anniversary and waited all summer to see the play. What do you say to Adam and I give them our tickets, say its New York good will."

Audrey laughed, "Yeah sure, where did you find these people?"

Adam added; "No really Jennifer, you know I really wanted to see this show, but just look at them."

The couple Jack found was really pathetic and played the part well.

Audrey whispered to Jennifer and then Jennifer smiled; "Alright, seeing they want to see the show so bad and we sort of forced you two to see it, okay give them the tickets."

Audrey smiled; "So where will the two of you go. You know Russell and Barb are at our place."

Jack looked at Adam; "Oh I thought we'd just stop at the sports bar for a couple and maybe catch part of the game."

Audrey slapped him playfully; "If I didn't know better I would have thought you planned this."

"Who me? No way Audrey!"

Jack handed the couple the tickets and a fifty; "Enjoy you two!"

Jack kissed Audrey and Adam kissed Jennifer and they both went their ways.

Back in the apartment Russell and Barb had settled down on the sofa and began watching the porn Russell brought. Barb snuggled against Russ as her long blonde hair flowed across his shoulder and down his chest.

His arm encircled her shoulder and his hand had already snuck into her peasant blouse and cupped her bare breast. Her nipple perked up instantly and scraped against his palm.

Her lips nipped at his neck as her eyes were glued to the screen.

"You know Russell; I've always wondered what it would feel like to make out with my sister or a brother if I had one."

Russell let out a moan; "You know Barb, I've always felt like a brother to you, so if you want to role play...."

She turned towards him and kissed him hard. Breaking the kiss she looked up at him with her dark eyes; "What about my sister?"

"Well she can always join us later if you'd like. I'm not sure Jack would approve though."

"Just let me take care of Jack."

I'd rather you take care of me, screw Jack."

I'd love to screw both of you." Whispering she said; "At the same time!"

She placed her hand on his thigh and felt his cock. She jumped back; OH my god Russell your cock is huge. I can't take anything that large, it's halfway to your knee."

Russell chuckled; "It's not even hard yet."

Sitting up she looked up at him; "Can I see it?"

"Be my guest Barb!"

She tugged at the zipper and sliding off the couch knelt before him. Gripping his pants at the waist pulled them off. His large cock flopped off his thigh onto the couch,

"Holy shit Russell, how does a man get a cock that big?"

Russell laughed; "I stick it in beans!"

"Beans, what kind of beans?"

"Human Beings!"

Barb laughed and gripped his cock with both tiny hands. Her fingers barely touched and more then half the shaft was still uncovered. Without exaggeration it had to be at least fifteen inches long and still growing as it stiffened.

Tossing her long wavy blonde hair to one side she rested her head on one thigh and began running her wet pink tongue back and forth along the huge length of his cock. His cock stiffened and she popped the large head into her mouth. Her lips were stretched to the max and she barely got the head into her mouth.

Russell rolled his head from side to side on the back of the couch as he dug his fingers in her silky blonde locks. He tried to stuff more of his cock into her tiny mouth but it wouldn't fit.

Barb leaned back and stripped off her peasant blouse. Leaning forward she captured his shaft between her ample B sized tits and closing the firm orbs around his cock rose and lowered her upped body giving him one hellava tit fuck.

Just then the door opened and in walked Jennifer and Audrey. Barb and Russell were so engrossed in what they were doing that neither of them noticed the two women enter the room.

Audrey put her fingers to her lips signaling to Jennifer to keep quiet. Both women watched in awe as Russell's cockhead slammed into Barb's chin with each upward thrust.

Their eyes nearly popped out of their heads as they caught sight of just how large Russell's cock was.

Jennifer whispered to Audrey; "Now I know why such a freak as Russell always has women around him, they probably worship that big cock."

Jennifer kept her mouth near Audrey's ear and as she watched Barb tit fuck Russell's cock she slowly slipped her tongue out and ran it slowly around Audrey's ear and earlobe. She sucked slowly at the lobe and ran her tongue along Audrey's long graceful neck.

Audrey leaned back against Jennifer and reached back and slid her hand along Jennifer's firm sexy leg.

Jennifer let out a gasp as Audrey's hand slid higher nearing her now moist pussy.

Audrey turned her face and their lips met. Kissing lightly at first, the kiss intensified as their mouths opened and their tongues fought with one another's.

On the TV screen two sisters were on a couch locked in a sixty-nine. On an overstuffed chair the mother was riding the cock of her virile son and behind them another daughter was bent over the chair being fucked by her father.

Russell told Barb to check out the TV and asked her if it gave her any ideas.

She laughed; "Lots!"

Just then she looked over the back of the sofa and let out a yelp as she caught sight if her sister Audrey and Jennifer locked in a sensual kiss. Their hands were traveling over each other's body.

"Um, um, sis, what's going on here?"

Audrey smiled at her baby sister; "Oh hi Barb, Jennifer and I came back early from the lousy play and, well we sort of got carried away watching you and Russell. Russell, I never realized just how large you are. Do you mind if Jennifer and I come over there and join you?"

Russell stood up, his huge cock swayed from side to side; "Come on Audrey, I think there's enough for all three of you."

Jennifer licked her full red lips; "You can say that again. I doubt it very much if I can handle anything that big."

Russell kissed Jennifer hand, squeezing her ass and catching his cock between the two of them. "You'd be surprised Jen, a lot of women say that, but once you get nice and wet and I take it slow I'll be able to stuff this big boy in you."

Audrey let out a long moan as Barb came up behind her and kissed the back of her neck. "You know Audrey, watching the movie about incest, all I can think about is eating your hot pussy and sucking on your big tits."

Moaning again Audrey turned around and the two blonde women's lips met. They fought to get their tongues down each other's throats. Audrey's hand cupped one of her sister's high firm tits and once their lips parted Audrey dropped her head to her sister's tit and drew the thick hard nipple between her lips. Her tongue swirled around and around her nipple.

Barb dug her fingers into her sister's hair and it began to come undone. Audrey sucked harder and her saliva was dripping off her tit as she drew her mouth away. Taking her by the hand she led Barb to a nearby chair and pushed her back down onto it. Standing over her petite sister she began pulling the pins out of her hair and as it fell about her shoulders she shook it out and combed her fingers through her curly blonde locks. Her fingers slowly unbuttoned the tight jacket that barely contained her swelling breasts. As each button popped open more and more of her huge tits jumped from the jacket. When she had it open she shrugged her shoulders and the jacket fluttered to the floor. Audrey licked her lips and squeezed her tits through her lacy black bra. Reaching behind her back she popped open the bra and her tits jumped from their confinement. Once again she shrugged her shoulders and the bra joined her jacket on the floor. Stepping towards Barb she leaned forward and placed her hands on the back of the overstuffed chair. As she did this her huge tits hovered above Barb's waiting mouth.

Barb strained her neck and rolled one of Audrey's pencil eraser sized nipples around and around with her wet tongue. Barb wrapped her hands around her sister's back and drew her tit deeper against her face. She moved her mouth back and forth from one tit to the other sucking the silver dollar sized aureole in between her full lips.

Audrey tossed her gorgeous hair about as she nearly came from the attention her sister was paying to her sensitive tits.

Barb's hands slid lower on Audrey's back and finding the zipper on the back of her skirt she drew it down and tugged the skirt from her ample hips. She stood there hovering over Barb in a tiny pair of panties and high heels.

Barb ran her hands up and down Audrey's shapely legs and they quivered as Barb touched every sensitive area making sure to avoid the damp spot on Audrey's panties.

Russell had moved Jennifer over to the couch across from Audrey and Barb; "Before you sit down Jennifer, how about doing a strip for me?"

Jennifer smiled and ran her hands up and down her body cupping her large tits and running her thumbs across her nipples. They perked up instantly and she dropped her hands to her waist, pulling slowly at the string that held her dress together. Slowly spreading the dress apart she let it slip from her shoulders. As it fluttered to the floor she reached behind her back and popped open her bra and it joined her dress on the floor.

Russell let out a moan and licked his lips as he stroked his cock furiously as his eyes were locked on her lush body.

Jennifer tossed her long dark hair around as she squeezed and teased her tits in front of Russell. Hooking her thumbs in the elastic band of her panties she slowly lowered her panties, as she did this she turned her ass towards Russell and bent over showing her full lush ass to him.

Russell stroked his huge cock faster as he saw the dew shining on the fat lips of her puffy cunt. Leaning forward he pulled her to the couch and she fell against him. Her thick long hair covered his face as their lips met and his cock slid between the cheeks of her ass. She groaned and wiggled her ass as it nudged her dripping pussy.

Russell rolled her off of him and onto her back. Starting at her neck he began kissing and licking her flawless skin. When he reached her large tits that were rapidly rising and falling with her heavy breathing, Russell captured one large fat nipple in his lips and drew it into his mouth. He rolled the nipple around with his tongue and drew it deeper into his mouth. Jennifer ran her fingers through his unruly blonde hair and moved his head to her other tit and he drew that growing nipple into his mouth.

Jennifer let out a low groan and arched her back trying to push more of her tit into his mouth.

"Come on you little weasel suck that tit harder, yes just like that bite my fucking nipple. Ahhhhh, yes harder, god that feels fucking incredible!"

Jennifer rolled her head from side to side as wave after wave of pleasure shot from her nipple directly to her dripping pussy.

Russell let go of her nipple and moved across her flat tummy until her reached her landing strip that guided him to her pouty pussy lips. Catching her full lips between his thumb and index finger he squeezed and she let out a groan and her juices squirted out covering his palm. Letting go of her lips he slipped two fingers into her gaping cunt, it was incredibly tight. His thumb uncovered her large red clit and he rubbed it back and forth. She arched her back and fell back to the couch. Lowering his mouth he found her clit with his tongue and flicked it back and forth, she gripped his head and came all over his face. Not letting up he continued to work on her cunt, now slipping a third finger in and then a fourth. He was preparing her tight dripping cunt for his huge cock, which was growing larger as he anticipated fucking this bundle of sex.

Back on the chair Barb was working Audrey's panties down her legs. Audrey placed both of her legs on the arms of the chair and offered her dripping pussy to her baby sister.

Barb cupped Audrey's ample ass cheeks and pulled her pussy to her waiting lips. Using the flat of her tongue she swiped Audrey's pussy from bottom to top. When she reached Audrey's button she poked the tip of her tongue back and forth across her stiff clit. She dipped her tongue down and parting her dripping lips she slipped into her pussy and lapped away at her big sister's juices.

Audrey threw her head back and ground her quaking pussy against Barb's working tongue. She reached up and cupped her own firm full tits and squeezed hard. Capturing the firm buds between her fingers she tweaked her nipples harder and harder causing her to moan. As her sister found her clit again she was nearing an orgasm. She squeezed her thighs around Barb's light blonde hair and let out a long low groan as she exploded in her sister's mouth.

Audrey slipped down Barb's body when she reached her mouth their lips met. Audrey tasted her own juices on her sister's lips and tongue. This turned her on even more. The two of them kissed longer and harder as Audrey cupped Barb's firm tits. They molded perfectly in the palms of her hands. She rolled the erect nipples between her thumbs and forefingers and this caused Barb to moan in her sister's mouth. Audrey broke the kiss and slid down her baby sister's body. Yanking on her jeans she tore open the clasp and pulled down the zipper. Barb was already raising her hips, urging Audrey to remove her tight pants and wet panties. Audrey pulled them off and tossed them aside. Her hands quickly returned to her legs and lovingly slid her hands up and down Barb's trim legs.

Barb slid lower on the chair, throwing her legs open over the arms of the chair exposing her tight wet pink slit to her sister's eyes.

Audrey as if in a trance slowly lowered her head to her sister's pussy, slowly blowing a stream of her warm breath on Barb's pussy, she reached down and parted the tight lipped pussy. As the lips parted a stream of her wet sticky juices flowed down her slit and gathered at her firm compact ass. Audrey ran her hands under her sister's ass and cupping her ass, drew her pussy to her lips as she prepared to feast on it. Slipping her tongue out she ran her wide pink digit from Barb's tight asshole upwards to her exposed clit. Slurping the juices from her baby sister's cunt she let the tasty fluid slide down her throat. Crushing Barb's cunt against her mouth, she began lapping away at the copious amount of fluid that were flowing out of her pussy. Audrey could not believe just how much juice Barb was producing.

Barb was nearing her orgasm as Audrey captured her clit between her lips. As Barb squeezed her trim thighs around her big sister's head she shook and let out a long groan as she exploded about Audrey's working tongue.