This story is a work of fiction except for the backstory which reflects my youth which like most like minded individuals growing up in the 80's and 90's were thought that are feelings are perverse and were something to hide in shame of. Over the last few decades I have learned that love cannot be quantified, stereotyped, or stiffened for the sake of "decency". I also acknowledge both the people of the adult film industry who continue to make our fantasies and desires a tangible thing, and to the people who live free from labels knowing you are free to be who you are not what you are supposed to be.
I have enjoyed pornography as far back as I can remember. I like most children picked this up from those around me, dads Playboy, moms Playgirl, and my older brothers more hardcore Hustler, Perfect 10, Club, and Swank. I found myself drawn equally to both sexes and would sneak off to masturbate when I could sometimes multiple times a day.
As far back as I can remember I have always loved watching and masturbating to porn. It was more for the creative backstories that followed the sexy pictures and the kinky letters that were printed out of peoples "real" experiences. It was not long before I discovered the world of BDSM and enjoyed the thought of being tied up and controlled by another person. Then came the mainstream movies that excited me to watch like Bull Durham, Exit to Eden, Body of Evidence, and numerous others that dealt with bondage in a romantic sense. I did not like the horror snuff film genre that depicts BDSM as a perverse and depraved act. Sure the graphic nudity was always present but the sadistic and sociopathic nature of the villain was unrelatable.
As I grew into my late high school years my imagination ran wild and I acted out some bondage scenes. Tying myself to the bed, or pouring candle wax on my cock and balls. Even complex cock and ball torture with a shoe lace and weights from my barbell. I loved the feeling of pleasure and pain. I never discussed any of this with anyone for fear of being excluded from the people at school and my family being the focus of small town gossip.
I enlisted into the military right after I graduated for a few reasons, steady pay check, the potential of relocating to most major cities far from the small town home, money for college, and great life skills that can be put to use after the military.
While I was in the military I started getting more into the extreme of BDSM with my experimentation. Sometimes I would be the top, usually if a partner was new to BDSM or liked to be dominated. Most often I would be a submissive which some partners enjoyed but either were not mentally prepared which overwhelmed them. Or they took full advantage of me for my limited but disposable income while providing me with nothing in return. And on a few occasions I even helped members of my group out by coaching or instructing on the finer points of bondage with their partner.
Then after the military I applied and was accepted to a university in Northern California. I quickly found out how expensive it was to live there despite having saved most of my paychecks, receiving educational grants, and my GI bill I was still estimating being in debt at the end of four years. Not unheard of for a new graduate to already have a debt after their degree but not where I wanted to be.
So when I got settled into my routine at college I started looking for a part-time job. Unfortunately since it was a college town most part-time jobs were already filled so I had to expand my search and I eventually settled on exotic dancer. Cliché I know but since I was in good shape after the military this gave me motivation to keep in shape and public nudity never bothered me so it seemed logical.
I worked Thursday, Friday nights, and Saturday afternoon to closing time. Occasionally I was asked to perform for private parties. It was a way to make quick money. Just remember one rule no sex at the strip club. Otherwise, "I would be fired faster than I shot my load." I am quoting the manager here because the last thing the club wants is unnecessary attention. Since the police would love to raid the strip club for a headline.
Of course during private parties things usually got out of hand but what did I expect from a room full of horny women. The submissive in me wanted to give them full control to them and fulfill every desire like the attention whore I am. However I always changed gears when things were getting too intense.
Well things were going better than expected until suddenly patrons stopped coming in due to an "economic shift". Which loosely translated means people stopped having extra money for the time being and the college was raising tuition. I tried looking for another job but none gave the amount of money for the same hours of work.
I decided to start looking for what I could do for work on the more shadier areas of the internet and saw an advertisement for a nearby well known BDSM studio who were looking for new model talent for all sexes and to either send a message on the hyperlink or call for an appointment.
I chose to call since I hear of job postings that link to a website are often viruses. I called right after class at lunch and was a little surprised when an actual person answered. I was ready to leave a recorded message and expected to play phone tag a dozen times. When a sexy female voice answered I lost my rehearsed speech that planned for the recording. After I stammered a moment I regained my composure and stated my name and was interested in the job posting. Then I said that I was a little surprised to speak to a real person and not a machine.
The female voice understood completely but was not interested in idle chit-chat and got down to the personal information. The questions were direct; age, height, weight, and experience with BDSM as well as if I had done any pornographic movies before.
I simply stated that I had done nude modeling and male stripping. Which she quickly stated that it was a lot different to have sex on camera than to be naked in public. She also informed me that 1 of 7 never show up for audition and 2 of 3 of those never make the cut so don't be too surprised if it doesn't work out. I told her that I would be the exception. She gave me an appointment date and time which I hated to do but asked for a hour later since that was the day of my midterms and would have a long drive after I finished. She understood completely and appreciated my honesty. She wished me luck on my exam and she ended the call.
The next few days were difficult trying to focus on my midterms. It was tough when all I could think of was getting to the studio and what the interview was going to be like. The very thought of what was to happen made my cock swell and I had to masturbate to regain my focus. I masturbated and had cum 12 times in a 72 hour period from Monday afternoon to Wednesday at lunch. Which I had not done before or come close to since I hit puberty and had access to my older brothers porn collection. My last ejaculation was very unimpressive barely a spurt and my balls had shot all their contents leaving my scrotum empty and unimpressive, Fortunately I had 39 hours to recover before my appointment.
The next two days were a blur mainly studying and taking my remaining midterms. Once my last one was finished I went to my car which was already packed with a overnight bag, business suit just in case they wanted be well dressed for the interview, and a full tank of gas.
I got to the studio in the business district of the city with plenty of time to spare. I walked through the front door 45 minutes before I was supposed to arrive and checked in with the pierced, tattooed purple haired, petite woman at the front desk. She was on the phone and held up her index finger indicating She wanted me to wait before speaking.
She finished the call and pushed the end button on the phone at her desk. She looked very annoyed telling me that I was over a hour late and that I was to have to reschedule. I looked at her bewildered and explained that when we spoke on the phone earlier in the week that I specifically asked for a later time and I was in fact early.
She quickly changed from angry receptionist to bubbly friend and quickly explained that two appointments were no show and a third cancelled last minute. Now several of the stars scheduled for a shoot were calling out and she is spending time calling last minute fill-ins.
She pushed a call button on her desk and announced that the 4:30 was here early. I barely had time to look at the lobby before a man dressed in black work boots, black leather pants, and a black tank top came to meet me. He had light brown skin, dark eyes, black hair and a goatee.
He introduced himself, we shook, hands and noticed he had a powerful grip with rough hands. H then gave me a quick run down of the interview process. I was to enter the room naked or wear a robe and remove it upon entry. He showed me an empty locker where I put my belongings. I quickly undressed and threw all my stuff in and closed the door. I put my spare combination padlock on and followed him to the interview room.
When we walked through the door two other people were sitting behind a long folding table. Both were dressed casually T-shirt, running shorts, and athletic shoes. A St. Andrew's cross was in front of the table. The table had various BDSM instruments some I was familiar with others I was not which I guessed were part of the interview.
The man and woman approached and I shook their hands as they introduced themselves as the director, producer, and new talent hire for the studio. The three of them had worked in front of the camera and now behind the scenes so they knew what made a good candidate for working in the pornography industry.
We quickly shook hands and the interview began.
The man who brought me into the room quickly began tying my arms behind my back while the other two asked questions. The basic questions were asked sexual orientation, previous pornographic movie/webcam experience, experience and role in BDSM play and personal likes and dislikes when it came to sex.
