Pilot Paramour

Heavily based on Mass Effect 1-3 as well as Andromeda, and loosely inspired by the Hatboy project from YT. This is my first story for this site but not my first story ever, so be gentle.

---

The sound of the cabin door slid open with a high pitched whistle. The pilot walked in, careful with the few steps that lead to the bed. Shepard curled up in the middle of the mattress, going over a mess of reports and data recovery. This was definitely more up Liara's alley.

"Thought I'd give EDI the helm for a bit. You know, since we are just coasting." He stopped walking for a moment, looking around as if it were the first time he had seen her quarters. It wouldn't be the last.

"You don't have to have an excuse to come see me. Takes a lot to get you out of that chair." She teased.

"It's not exactly on the way to the mess hall but...I had a lot on my mind." Jeff crossed his arms. As fragile as his disease made him sound, he did fill out the uniform quite nicely.

Biceps trying to fight the rolled up white sleeves. Shepard blinked rapidly and looked up at him. "Alright..." She tossed the notes to the side. "What's on your mind, Joker?"

"Well, where do I start? The new Blasto movie ended on a cliffhanger where the hanar gets his spectre status removed. The new cupholder they installed isn't big enough to hold my actual water bottle. My ass is chafing from sitting too much. Oh, and there are giant bugs trying to wipe out all life in the galaxy. But that's all in a typical tuesday for us, isn't it?"

A deep sigh, Shepard swung her legs over the edge of the bed and pat the spot next to her, now cleared. He hesitated, adjusted his hat, and sat down. "So, is sarcasm your defense mechanism because you can't throw a punch or..."

A scoff of a laugh. "Damn commander. Okay, fair. If I can't be real with you, who can I be real with? The unshackled AI? I don't even think she knows who Blasto is..."

"Joker..."

"Right. Yeah. So....the sight of that door has taken up space in my head for a long time. I am pretty sure it owes me rent at this point. I am not the best at being vulnerable. I mean hell, everyone thought I was my entire life. You remember my stories from training."

"Ah yes, everyone called you Joker cause you never smiled. I mean, I see you grinning all the time. Having emotions doesn't make you weak, Joker. No matter what the 'he-man' alliance propaganda tells you."

He contemplated this for a moment, getting off topic. "I practiced this for years and it still isn't coming out right. I......smile around you, Shepard. Er.....Jane." He took in a deep breath and slowly sighed. "And then when I got brave enough, I'd even show you since I can't say it. But....when your bones are made of uncooked spaghetti, getting hot and bothered with anyone is usually out of the question."

Shepard opened her mouth before closing it again, letting him continue. He was trying to make a point and she would allow him to get around to it, even if he still tried joking his true emotions away.

"I guess that is dream logic for you. Hang out in space, and let everything hang out in space. But don't you dare show me pity. A quick fuck for the cripple kid--"

Shepard raised her hand to cover his lips. "Jeff...You aren't a charity case. You could be on any crew because you are the best pilot. You are on my crew because you are my pilot. I couldn't dream of traversing the universe without you by my side."

He looked down at her manicured fingertips before eyes raised to look back at her. A surge of emotion yanked at his heart strings but of course he had to cover it with humor once more. "Just your pilot, eh?"

Shepard, who was perhaps just as deflective at times, furrowed her brows in concern. Her fingertips fell away but landed on his knee. Risking more physical contact. She needed to be closer, to drink in every word. Hell, she could probably get drunk on his crisp cologne alone. Salt and cedarwood. Masculine but gentle. She blinked rapidly again, trying to come back to the conversation. Realizing a minute had passed in silence.

"You know you are much more to me than a soldier at the helm." She stated, figuring it was a safe enough answer. She needed him to say it aloud. Give the green light. Confirm her delusions over the past six months. Hell, the past three years.

He laughed for a change, dimples creasing his cheeks beneath the thick beard that had taken him twice as long to perfect. "Well, let me try to spell it out for you. You just got a job on the best ship the alliance fleet has to offer. Turns out your impossibly hot new commanding officer is...kind of taking notice of you, but it can't be more than that. I mean, savior of the galaxy and all that. Ignore that, regulations are in place for a reason, Moreau."

He blew air out between his lips, eyes rolling briefly, looking up at t he fish tank. A blue tang swam by and bumped its nose against the glass before he continued. "Spending most of your downtime and shoreleave daydreaming about her. Just look at the extranet for distraction. Read emails a second and third time. Annoy EDI. Play poker with Kaidan. It's okay, you will get over this crush. You will find a nice girl at the Presidium and--" He pointed.

The cabin door was sealed shut. The room was quiet. Only the heartbeat sound of the core heard throughout the metal walls. "That fucking door haunting me. Seeing people come in and out. A gorgeous asari who doesn't even have to touch you, a big strong turian, hell. Even Alenko. Honestly, who put what in his cheerios? Anyway." Another sigh, but Shepard scoot closer, her fingertips now turning into a full hand on his thigh. Trying to encourage him to continue.

"Anyway, fast forward and.....impossibly hot XO is also now your best friend....who you got killed. Yikes, tricky right? But it's okay, cerberus brought her back. And made her hotter with scars. But is she the same? Will she recognize you? She touched your shoulder, leaned on the back of your pilot's chair while flying. You caught some stuff she said about you while out on missions. Here comes the extranet again. I am sure you can get one out before Shore party returns."

Shepard covered her mouth, trying to wipe away the grin. "Joker...did you......do you pleasure yourself while we are away?"

He raised his hands in innocence. "Jeez, Commander you make it sound so clinical."

"I am......flattered. But I wonder. What kind of searches will I find in your history?" She scoot closer, hand rising up his thigh.

He noticed now but didn't comment on it. If he pointed it out, she would take it away. "Great, all it took was a cerberus attack on the citadel to get you to pay attention to me. Remind me to bust out my sweet dance moves to impress you next time. A lot less people shooting at us."

Shepard leaned in now, kissing his cheek. Sweet, soft. A bit scratchy from his facial hair. He straightened up a bit and even dared to link their hands together, her other still planted firmly on his upper thigh. Inching upwards. Testing boundaries.

"I have served with you since the day you took command. I followed you into hell and dragged your ass out of the fire. We went on a suicide run and survived. Out of everyone I lost, you stay consistent. In a world without military ranks, I would have rocked your world by now. But I never thought following you to death's doorstep time and again would.....well, I didn't think it meant I could follow you to your bedroom." He once again looked around the Captain's quarters. A hamster in the corner. Big open fishtank. Little replicas of places visited. A piece of shit laptop and a framed photo, the picture inside now removed, facing down flat.

"So.....you do like me then?" Shepard teased, her hand now beside his zipper. Still waiting, but now perhaps growing impatient. She usually dove into missions but never relationships. At least, not with ease. But something about this. About him. It was the only mission she cared about in the moment. Fuck the galaxy, she wanted to be in his orbit. Even if only for a night.

"Jane......I more than like you. I love--" His train of thought was cut off by her lips. She kissed him with excitement. Or perhaps desperation. Hands still intertwined and her other hand staying put in his lap, not wanting to seem too eager. It had only been pent up for three years, after all.

He kissed her back. She had shared a kiss by the lockers with Liara once. She was gentle and soft, but out of practice. Never even really speaking to many humans before meeting their crew. This though. The pilot knew what he was doing as he ran a hand up her side under her black uniform buttonup. She was suddenly very aware of how many damn layers an alliance soldier wore. The one time she wasn't in her casuals, of course.