My inspiration for this spoof (am I giving too much away?) is any one of the excellent nasty stories written by C.D.E. A good example is, "Accidents Will Happen" Read C.D.E. for fun, even though you don't have to have read his stories to enjoy this one (I hope).
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We open on a typical scene of newlywed domestic bliss. A well-endowed, thirty-something woman with long dark hair, wearing a sexy nightie and four inch red pumps is resting on one elbow looking down into the eyes of her new husband, a muscular hunk with square jaw and funny blue and red tights. As she whispers words of love into the ear of her life's mate, she has her hand between his legs, working on putting a nice bulge there. Apparently, she wants hubby in a VERY good mood.
In addition to her sexy attire, the woman is wearing a very self-satisfied smirk -- and with good reason. Looking more closely we detect a still small, but unmistakable bulge in her tummy. Like many brides her age, she hadn't wasted any time between walking down the aisle and getting that first bun in the oven. Who knows, might she even have jumped the gun? Only one thing mars this otherwise paradisiacal scene -- the man looking up at the woman does not look nearly so happy as does his newly-pregnant wife.
"Oh, shit, Lois! I love it when you do that to me. You don't know how much I'd like to roll you over and cram it in you right now. It's just so frustrating! Why did you have to be so precipitous?"
"Oh, darling, do you have to keep torturing yourself with that? Lots of men have trouble getting it up on their wedding night."
"I didn't have any trouble getting it up. I was fine until I put it in you. Why did you have to line your pussy with Kryptonite?"
"I'm sorry, dear, but I was just taking precautions. I'd read Larry Nivin and I was afraid of what could happen to my poor little pussy if you came in me full force. I figured the Kryptonite would just make you a little more . . . human."
"Shit, Lois, it doesn't work that way at all. I can . . . er, could . . . control how hard I come, otherwise I would have blasted holes in the walls every time I masturbated."
"I never would have believed that YOU masturbated. O, my darling. How was I to know?"
"Well, you could have *asked* someone -- Battman, for example."
"Darling! How can you suggest that I would discuss something so intimate with another man!"
"Well, there is Wonder Woman or Batgirl."
"And just WHAT are Wonder Woman and Batgirl doing knowing things like THAT about you? You told me that you . . . .
"It's true, Lois, so help me. I was . . . er am . . . a virgin. But they are Justice League of America; they've been briefed."
"Harumpf! I'm beginning to think you're sorry you married me."
"Of course not, Honey. You know I've always wanted to marry you. You just kept turning me down until after that last rescue."
"It's true, My Love. I was such a silly girl to have waited so long for this," Lois said and slightly increased the tempo of her massaging. "It was while I was being held captive by that awful Joker person that I thought, if I were married to you and had you to protect me full time, I wouldn't be suffering the way I was."
"I'm glad you came to that belated conclusion, Lois, but you didn't really seem to be suffering that much when I rescued you. As I recall you were in the middle of your umpteenth orgasm, riding Joker's cock like a bronco. When I flew in, you tried to push me away, screaming, 'Fuck me, you bastard! Yes! Give me more cock, you stallion!'"
"That was what was so awful about it, Sweetie. He had been bombarding me with those terrible Libido-rays for a week. At first it was awful the way I responded to the disgusting advances of him and his henchmen. I just hated the way my pussy got wet every time Joker would fondle my titties or lick my nipples or play with my clit. It was embarrassing the way he made me orgasm over and over again on his fingers until I couldn't stop, begging him to slam me with his repulsive salami. It was mortifying to come like a cheap whore every time he dumped his vile jism in me."
"Then why were you smacking it off your lips?"
"Sweetheart, you have no idea how they had tortured me. There were four of them. They came at me one after the other, fucking me unmercifully for perhaps a half hour at a time. Then, when they'd barely given me five or six good comes, they would loose it, dump their load in me, and leave me to stew. No matter how much I pleaded or insulted their manhood, none of them would ever fuck me more than three or four times a day. Well, you do the math; I was left in torment for over 16 hours a day with no schlong in me. I begged for a dildo or at least for then to uncuff me so I could cram my hands into my hot horny twat to get off, but Joker cruelly refused, claiming I would injure myself."
"It was during those long tortured hours I knew I could never be satisfied by anything less that a Cock of Steel. Lord knows another week of that kind of frustration, the villain might have made me his sex slave."
"Batman told me to be careful of you, that the experience with Joker might have 'turned' you already."
"Don't pay any attention to him, My Pet. He's just jealous because I wouldn't give him a 'Thank you' fuck for helping you rescue me. You know it's only you I love. You were the one I wanted to marry and make a baby with."
"Well it didn't work out. Why did you have to put so MUCH Kryptonite in your pussy?"
"Look, I've said I was sorry, OK?"
"You're sorry but I'll go through life never able to get hard again. And as for getting pregnant. . . ."
"Now don't be that way Honey-poo. We've discussed this several times already. I told you before we married how much I wanted a baby and you promised me I'd be pregnant before the honeymoon was over."
"Well, sure, Lois, but . . . ."
"And after your little accident . . . ."
"'Little accident!?'"
"Whatever."
"And did you have to go down to the bar that very night to pick up that guy . . . What was his name?"
"Kerr, Joe Kerr. And I've explained that, too, Angel. I had our honeymoon planned very carefully to coincide with my most fertile period and I got my gynecologist, Dr. Jekel, to give me those fertility drugs to be on the safe side. All I needed that night was good hard dick in me to pump me full of hot thick baby juice so I'd be well and truly knocked up. I was heartbroken, of course, that you weren't able to give me what I needed, but it only made sense for me to find someone else who could. You have to admit, he did a good job," the woman smiled and patted her expanding belly.
"Lois, how can you expect me to be pleased that my wife is having the triplets of some stranger!"
"Well he's not a stranger to me!"
"Do you have to remind me?! That's another thing. He's already knocked you up. Why do you have to keep going out with him?"
"Some times you surprise me, my dear. Don't you think it would be terrible for our precious child to know he was the result of a sordid one-night stand with a man I picked up in a bar? I'm doing this to establish a permanent bond to the father of our baby. Besides, don't I always let you suck as much of their . . . er, his . . . his cum out of my juicy twat as you want? And don't try to tell me you don't enjoy putting your head between my legs and licking clean my fresh-fucked pussy!"
"Well, yes, but it just kills me to see you dress up in those sexy little mini-skirts and high heels the nights you meet him at the club. And why can't you at least wear panties?"
"Oh, Honey, how inconsiderate of you! Remember, other men can't use X-ray vision to look at my pretty shaved pussy the way you can. When Joe has me out on the dance floor twirling me around so my little skirt flies up, he wants everyone to be able to see my nice round ass and moist pink twat. He loves everyone see how my belly is getting bigger and rounder week by week. You can imagine how proud he is that everyone knows it's his little bastard growing in there. And during slow dances, he likes to pull out his prick and glide around with it in me. Oh, and getting filled with a nice load of cum during a foxtrot is soooo romantic!"
Closing her eyes, the woman drifted off, softly singing to herself:
"Heaven! I'm in heaven. And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak. And I seem to find the happiness I seek, When we're out together dancing... Meat to meat."
Breaking her reverie, she continued, "And when he takes me back to the table with his friends, Joe likes them to be able to finger my sperm-filled snatch without any fabric getting in the way."
