Science wasn't cheap. Being Spider-Man involved a lot of science. Peter Parker couldn't very well skimp on his costume (he very well could) or his gadgets (he didn't need them). These three facts created quite a conundrum for New York's webslinger when Jonah J. Jameson fired him from the Daily Bugle, deciding it would be cheaper to hire and train a drone pilot to stalk Spider-Man than rely on Parker's inconsistent shots and alleged 'connection'.
He was right about that, but that is neither here nor there.
Peter needed cash, and he needed it quickly. He could ask Aunt May, but he didn't want her to wonder why he needed it. Pawn his camera equipment? Heresy. He tried freelance work for a week, but had little luck finding any clients. Desperate, Peter turned to Google. Google always had answers (except for how to treat a radioactive spider bite; he went on to try that one on Yahoo answers and immediately regretted his decision).
After a bit of research, he had something. It took another week to convince MJ, by which time Peter had ripped his precious suit three times over and
desperately
needed that cash for the repairs (he probably could have bought thread anywhere for dirt cheap).
***-***-***-***-***-***-***-***-***-***-***
The two of them sat in MJ's cramped apartment in their underwear, freshly showered from the two very messy hours they had spent fucking like rabbits.
Spider rabbits.
Figurative spider rabbits, not literal bunny spiders. Those are a thing. They're pretty cute, insofar as eight-legged monstrosities who tie their victims up and eat them can be 'pretty cute'.
While MJ had been washing up, Peter edited the video down to forty minutes. He thought he did a pretty good job, but it was sloppy and amateur as all hell. When she squeezed in beside him on the couch, the two young lovers interlaced their fingers and Peter began the upload. Both of them were quiet with nervous excitement, with MJ herself beet red with embarrassment. Once it was done, Peter started pasting their advertisement all over Reddit, Twitter and several other sites.
"Hey, tiger." MJ was staring at the screen after Peter posted the last link on the Facebook account they had made for this. It was, of course, immediately banned. She licked her lips, nervous. It was a new expression for the bombshell redhead, who had been modeling since high school. "I want to watch it."
Everyone else was about to.
"Yeah. Okay." Peter opened Pornhub, navigated their otherwise barren profile page for the video titled
SPIDEY'S SLUT: SPIDER-MAN'S OFFICIAL SEX TAPE
and hit play. Peter had picked the soundtrack for the video, thinking it was sexy. It was several decades ago, now it was just corny in a cringey, unironic way.
"Oh my god," MJ muttered, almost mortified. "Is this from some 1960s Ron Jeremy porno?"
"He didn't start until the late 1970s," Peter replied without thought. MJ glanced at his boyfriend, decided not to question why he had such trivia in his back pocket, and focused on the screen again. The first two or three minutes of the video were focused on MJ performing a striptease, peeling out of her clothes one piece after another until she only wore whorish red high heels and a matching domino mask. Her boyfriend had assured her that it would hide her identity.
His rationale was that it worked for Robin in Batman. It was a good thing MJ just took his word for it on face value, because if he had told her "hey, it works for a fictional character, so it'll definitely work for you and won't impact your modelling career whatsoever", she probably would have slapped him, told him to fuck off and kicked him out.
After showing all of her assets off to the camera, MJ licked her full lips and looked up to the ceiling, her eyelids falling heavy over her green eyes. She spoke the video's first lines with her hips swinging and her hands slowly sliding down her tummy, rubbing slowly, inviting circles over her thighs. "Hey, hero," she sensually purred, "I need a good guy to come down here and save me from my wet pussy before I make any bad decisions. Think you can help a hot babe out?"
"Jesus," the real MJ moaned at how bad Peter's script was, slapping a hand to her brow. She soon outright groaned when the corny porno music faded off to Bonnie Taylor's
Holding Out for a Hero
and gave Peter a withering glance out of the corner of her eye. "Really, Peter? Really?" MJ didn't have a problem with the song, but it was a little much. It was, she dared to think, a bit tacky.
Peter beamed with pride. "I know. Great, right?"
Why am I dating this loser again?
In the video, Spider-man slowly descended from the ceiling, hanging upside-down from one of his webs. "I've got some time to kill before my date with Doctor Oct," Spidey said, pitching his voice almost comically deep. Another reason he needed money: the voice modulator he built into his suit was on the fritz. There was, of course, no reason he couldn't just jury rig a cheap smartphone and microphone to handle the task, but Peter was a boy with expensive tastes.
"God, I'm sexy," Peter said unironically as MJ rubbed her brow, certain that deepness was a panty-dropper. She had to admit that he
was
pretty sexy without the suit on, and what they did next was cinematic genius that got her feeling horny all over again. On the screen, she reached up with her long fingers and slowly peeled his mask down to just below his nose. Taking hold of his face with her hands, she pressed a hard, upside-down kiss to his mouth, yielding instantly when he went to intrude hers with his tongue. It was unlike any other kiss MJ had ever had. Who else could say that their boyfriend could do
that
with their mouth?
Probably anyone whose boyfriend could do hanging curl-ups, I guess,
she admitted to herself, but hey, her boyfriend was a superhero when he wasn't being a loser, and even when he was being a loser he was at least being a sweet loser full of love. MJ dropped her hand from her face and to her lap, watching what happened next with keen attention. Like the kiss, it was pretty fucking genius. She let her fingers drift between her lean thighs, slowly starting to rub her antsy pussy through her panties.
On the screen, Spidey broke the kiss much to MJ's whined chagrin, her vexation unplanned and genuine. She grabbed at his wrist to try and pull him back in, but he took one hand off his web to grab hers in turn. "Hold on, ma'am," he said in that ridiculous voice. "Help is on the way." After a light struggle, she unhappily relented with a pretty pout of her full lips. Spider-man quickly turned that frown as upside down as he was, kissing and tracing his way down her body with his tongue, teasing her already peaked nipples and raising goosebumps in his wake.
Once he passed her waist, Spidey shifted to hold on to his web with just his legs, his hands sliding behind her and over her hips to grab the redheaded damsel's bubbly ass in both hands. "I can see why Rhino wants to rob this bank," he said lowly, sexily, failing utterly.
Though that was worth another groan, the MJ sitting with Peter only bit her lip and slid her thong away from her bald pussy, wet and still well-abused from all the fucking they did to put together the video. The Spidey in the video started to kiss her lower lips, tickling her clit with his tongue and slowly sliding one hand away from her ass to slot two gloved digits into her well-lubed cunt. Off the camera, she started sliding her fingers over her clit in the same fashion, remembering it all vividly.