The gang was gathered in Leonard and Sheldon’s apartment, as usual.
Bernadette asked Amy, “So, what are you working on these days?”
“I’m studying one-celled organisms to try and find the neurochemicals that lead to the feeling of shame,” Amy replied flatly.
“What would a one-celled organism have to be embarrassed about?” Bernadette asked.
Penny had no idea what she was talking about but saw a chance to chime in. “Same as all of us, getting out of a car without underwear!” and then roared with laughter.
Bernadette took the advantage of Penny’s attempt to join the conversation. “Speaking of underwear, I have some interesting news.”
Penny waved a dismissive hand. “Okay, if it’s sometimes Howie wears yours, Leonard already told us.”
Bernadette wrinkled her nose and glanced at Howard. “He was being funny. I’m pretty sure. Anyway, I was asked to be a part of a magazine article about the 50 sexiest female scientists in California. Isn’t that cool?”
Amy shook her head. “I think it’s awful.”
“Why would you say that?” Penny asked.
“Bernadette is a successful microbiologist. She should be celebrated for her achievements, not her looks. I mean, what kind of message does that send?” Amy replied.
Penny shrugged her shoulders. “I think the message is ‘check out the rack on that scientist.’”
Howard raised his hand. “Can I get an amen?!”
Bernadette tried to ignore her husband. “Why can’t someone be thought of as both smart and pretty?”
Sheldon chimed in. “I have to agree with Amy. I don’t think a professional woman should have to flaunt her...rack...in order to get ahead.”
“Okay, what’s the big deal?” Penny asked. “Look, if it helps me make a sale with a physician, I don’t think it hurts to flirt a little. I mean, laugh at their joke, touch their arm, maybe crank up the AC in the car beforehand, you know, to wake up the girls.”
Leonard snapped his head. “Do you do that?”
Penny frowned and shook her head. “Noooooo, no, I don’t. Of course not. But, uh, I know some of the girls do that.”
Amy ignored Penny’s obvious lie. “Maybe it’s different in the world of sales, but it’s already hard enough for women to be taken seriously in science.”
Bernadette frowned. “I was kind of excited about the article, but now you’re making me feel bad.”
Penny cheered her on. “No, I think you should do whatever you want. You show ‘em that rack! Show them babies off! You know, maybe if fashion magazines had female scientists in them, I would’ve become a theoretical physicist.” The room looked at each other in disbelief. “Stop smirking at each other.”
*****
The next day, Sheldon opened the door to his apartment building for a man holding a bouquet of flowers.
“Thank you,” the stranger said timidly.
They began to walk up the stairs together.
“No, thank you. Delivery men are the unsung foot soldiers of our nation’s commerce,” Sheldon replied.
The stranger shook his head. “I’m not a delivery man, I’m a doctor. Although I do often deliver alarming biopsy results to my patients.”
“Are you bringing flowers to a patient to cushion the blow of a terminal diagnosis?” Sheldon asked.
The stranger shook his head. “These are actually for a nice woman who makes sales calls to my office.”
“Hmmmm. Her name wouldn’t happen to be Penny, would it?”
“Oh, why yes it is as a matter of fact. Do you know her?”
“Yes. We’re neighbors. That’s her apartment right there.”
“Yes, I know.”
The two men turned in opposite directions. Sheldon walked into his own apartment.
“Great timing, food just got here,” Leonard said as he began to unpack the food.
“Ooh, Siam Palace?”
“Yes.”
“Uh, mee krob and chicken satay?”
“Yes.”
“Uh, extra peanut sauce?”
“No, but you can have mine.”
“Eh, well, very well. Oh, and on the topic of sharing things that are yours, there is a gentleman caller bringing flowers to your fiancé as we speak.”
Leonard’s head snapped. “What? Why didn’t you say that first?”
*****
Leonard approached the man standing at Penny’s door.
“Can I help you?”
The startled stranger looked at Leonard. “Oh, hi. Uh, does Penny live here?”
“May I ask why?”
“Well, uh, I met her at my office, she winked at me. And, uh, I came hoping to initiate a romantic relationship.”
“Okay, um, look, I’m pretty sure she didn’t wink at you.”
“Oh, she did. Seductively, like this. And then she touched my arm for two Mississippis. Like, you know, one Mississippi, two... And, you know, other things that led me to believe she would be interested in a romantic relationship with me.”
Leonard ignored the “other things”. It obviously didn’t take much for this dude to think women were hitting on him. “I got it, I got it. Listen, um, I think there’s been a misunderstanding. See, Penny is my fiancé.”
The stranger looked at him. “Really? I’ve never seen her wear an engagement ring.”
“Really?”
Leonard brought the man into his apartment.
“So, am I to presume that her flirtation was just a sales technique?” the doctor asked.
Leonard nodded sympathetically. “I think so.”
Sheldon scolded Leonard. “Leonard, where are your social skills? This man is clearly upset. We should offer him a hot beverage.”
“He tried to score with Penny!”
“Everybody’s tried to score with Penny, including these two, some more successfully than others,” Sheldon said, nodding his head at Raj and Howard sitting on the couch. “And they’re having dinner with us.”
*****
That evening, Penny and Bernadette were talking over drinks.
