Leonard and Penny were the happy newlyweds. Earlier in the day, Penny had dropped Leonard's mother, Beverly, off at the airport after another torturous visit. Back home, getting into the routine of wedded bliss, they had just finished fucking each other's brains out and were now having some polite pillow talk.
"How'd it go with my mother?"
"I think we got to a good place. When I dropped her off at the hotel, she even gave me a hug."
"Wow, that's amazing! Did she think you were choking or... I'm sorry, that's great. Thank you for spending time with her."
"No problem. Um, so listen, I don't know if you have any plans next weekend, but I kind of promised your mom we'd have another wedding ceremony so she could attend this time."
"Wait, we're gonna get married again?"
"Yeah, kind of, but now we can invite our friends and family. Come on, it'll be fun. We could keep it small and informal. This time we can invite our families."
"Is your brother out of prison?"
"Thanks to overcrowding, yeah."
"I'd love it if my dad could come," Leonard said hopefully.
"Oh, you have to invite him. I haven't seen him since the divorce. Well, then it's settled. Yay! So funny. I never thought my second marriage would be to you."
A few days later, Leonard picked his father, Alfred, up from the airport.
"Hey, we're here," Leonard announced as he and his father entered Leonard and Penny's apartment.
"Alfred. Thank you for coming!" Penny said, welcoming him with a big hug.
"Wait. Is that a bulge in his pants? Maybe it's just jet lag,"
Penny thought to herself.
"Oh. Well, happy to be here. And congratulations."
"Dad, this is Sheldon's mother, Mary," Leonard said, motioning to Mary sitting on the couch.
"How do you do?"
"Nice to meet you," Mary replied.
"And, of course, Mom," Leonard said apprehensively.
"Hello, my hateful shrew."
"Hello to you, you wrinkled old bastard."
Sheldon, normally not one to pick up on human emotions, said, "All right, now I'm starting to sense a little tension."
"Uh, who's hungry? We have a reservation at the best restaurant in town," Penny said, trying to change the subject.
*******
The next day, Penny's family arrived for the big day.
"I can't wait for you to meet everyone!" Penny said when they arrived at her apartment. "All right, you guys, uh, get settled in, then we'll go across the hall and say hi to everyone."
A few minutes later, Penny came back to her apartment with Leonard in tow.
"Hello," Leonard said as he walked in.
"Hey, there he is," Penny's father, Wyatt, replied.
"Oh, Leonard. It's so nice to see you again," Penny's mother, Susan, said, giving Leonard a hug that was much longer than three Mississippis.
"Hey, Leonard," Penny's brother, Randall, said, shaking Leonard's hand.
"So, what are you doing these days, Randall?" Leonard asked, not really caring but trying to be polite.
"Mommy, you want to take this one?" Randall said, looking to his mother.
"Um, Randall's in between jobs," Susan replied hesitantly.
"And court appearances," Wyatt added sarcastically.
"Yeah, well, uh, everybody's over at my apartment if you'd like to come over and say hello," Leonard said, trying to break the awkwardness.
"Wait, Leonard," Susan said, grabbing Leonard's arm. "Can I talk to you? Privately."
"Uh, yeah, sure." Susan led Leonard back to Penny's bedroom and closed the door. "What's up, Susan? Is everything okay?" Leonard asked with a concerned look on his face.
"No, everything's not okay, Leonard," Susan said, stepping closer, placing a hand gently on his chest. "Here you are, getting married to my baby girl, and I haven't properly welcomed you to the family yet."
Penny's mother towered over Leonard. He looked up at her, her long red hair flowing down past her shoulders. She had taken good care of herself. She was a beautiful woman. He could see where Penny got her looks. "Oh! I'm sorry, Susan! It was very inconsiderate of us, of me. But it's not too late. We're all here now. So, how can I make it up to you?"
Susan quickly ran her hand down his body and cupped Leonard's crotch, making him jump. "Here, let me show you." Susan dropped to her knees. She masterfully unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. She looked into Leonard's stunned face. "Don't worry, sweetie. We're a
very
close family." She grabbed the waistband of his pants and Superman boxers and slowly pulled them down his legs. She could see his beast straining to be released from its confinement. And then it was free! His thick 8 incher jumped out like a jack-in-the-box, nearly smacking her on the forehead. She quickly grabbed its shaft. "Oh my! I can see why Penny's in love with you!" Without another word, she took him into her mouth, wrapping her velvety soft lips around him.
"Oh! Oh! Susan! Ohmagod!"