BoJack and Mr. Peanutbutter make out. Homosexual/yaoi. A BoJack Horseman fanfiction.
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The sound of beer cans crackled in his hand, as a tipsy horse tossed each empty decanter across the lounge. The couch was covered in cans, and there were even cans stuffed in between the cushions. The horse was wearing a sweaty vest, and the sweat patches were all dark yellow like urine.
"Hey, BoJack - quit chucking shit at the back of my head," argued his dog friend, "I came here to check on you. When did you get 18 beers? It stinks here."
"Princess Carolyn brought me all this beer. It's not the brand I wanted but it's good enough."
"Look, I know you're not happy with what happened last night--"
"What? When you kissed me and didn't pull back once? You were totally into it. Fuck you, man."
The golden labrador shrugged and held his hands up in defence. "I only kissed you because you kissed Diane. She's my wife, you know."
"You've told me like a million times now, Mr. Peanutbutter. You can't control what she does," the horse retorted while his hand clenched yet another beer can.
"You know," Mr. Peanutbutter clasped his hands together as he laughed, "I told Diane about what happened last night."
"You WHAT?"
"Well, duh! I can't keep that away from Diane. I tell her everything!"
"Oh my god," he groaned before he cracked open a new can of beer. His tired, judging eyes kept their gaze fixed on the dog. God, Peanutbutter was so cheerful in comparison to BoJack.
A chuckle rumbled in the dog's throat. Mr. Peanutbutter remained standing in the doorway, dressed in his usual v-neck collar polo shirt and jeans. There were a pair of sunglasses resting at the top of his head.
"You know, apparently people that express so much hate for something secretly love it."
BoJack rolled his eyes in contempt. "Fuck sake," he grunted in between slurps of his drink, "I wish I had a frisbee so I can get rid of you."
Mr. Peanut Butter scoffed. He closed the door behind himself as he then walked further into the lounge. The dog pulled out a bin bag from a cupboard in the kitchen and then approached BoJack.
"You know, you look very comfortable sitting in your filth but let me clean your shit up for you," offered the labrador.
One yellow hand lunged towards the couch and immediately started to pull out the empty cans from the cushions. Trash was everywhere. An annoying, repetitive, moderately pitched hum played in his throat during the time he cleared the settee. BoJack continued to watch Mr. Peanutbutter. It wasn't long until the horse crushed his current beer can and then chucked it at the dog. The golden labrador caught the scrunched up piece of trash in a heartbeat.
"Thanks for contributing, BoJack," stated Mr. Peanutbutter with the same smile on his face.
BoJack grumped, seconds before he cracked open a new beer can.
