On Her Majesty's Secretarial Service

On Her Majesty's Secretarial Service

Author's Note: This was originally going to be part of next month's 750-word event, but just as I was finishing off I thought of a third irresistible twist which brought things well over a thousand. This story will work with practically any version of Bond and Moneypenny, but if it's important to you, I was visualizing Timothy Dalton and Caroline Bliss when I wrote it. And, obviously, the immortal Desmond Llewelyn as Q.

"Oh, James!"

Moneypenny had uttered those words so many times in her dreams, and also quite a few times when she had been in bed but definitely wasn't asleep. Now the object of her fantasies was not only in her bed but also deep inside her. Even with their bodies so close she could still feel the wind of the balmy Jamaican night blow in through the hotel window.

She'd always wondered what kind of lover the great 007 would be. His reputation preceded him, of course, but would he be tender and refined or would he be wild and dangerous? It turned out he was both, changing seemingly by instinct to what she needed at each moment. It was just as heavenly as she'd always imagined.

"Oh, James, oh James, oh James, oh...fuck!"

Even as her pussy clenched and she writhed through the deep orgasm, he continued on, his stamina knowing no bounds. They'd already been at it for half an hour, and she was still full of his seed from the first bout.

Just then the phone on the bedside table rang.

Her lover stopped his motion but remained deep inside of her as he answered. "Bond. James Bond."

The black handset was close enough that she could hear the voice on the other end. "This is M. You're needed straight away. It seems your tip about that uranium was right."

Bond looked down at her and winked. "Well, it's always gratifying to be bang on the money."

Moneypenny put her fingers to her lips in a 'ssh' motion.

"Do you need me to come in and be briefed by Moneypenny?" asked Bond innocently.

"No, not for this mission" replied M. "She's currently on leave for her honeymoon. You're to meet up with Miss Goodnight once you land in Narita. She'll fill you in this time."

"That'll make a nice change," said Bond.

"Your ticket is being couriered to the front desk right now. Chop chop 007."

Bond was up and on his feet.

"Sorry, Moneypenny, you know as well as anyone that England comes..." He made a show of counting on his fingers. "Well, in this instance, fourth. No wait, fifth, maybe? Let's see, you only came..."

"Twice," said Moneypenny throwing a pillow at him.

It was amazing how quickly that man could get himself into a tuxedo and on a plane out of the country.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As the door closed, Moneypenny pulled herself up and sat back on a pillow with a deep sigh. She looked over at her fiance sitting in the corner. His trousers were down and his crotch was covered in his own semen.

"Was that as good for you as it was for us?" she asked.

It was hard to tell if Gordon was nodding or just hanging his head in shame. "So that was James from work, was it?"

"It was," she said. "You didn't mind the spy loving me, did you?"

"Oh, no," said Gordon. "If half of what you've told me is true, that man has saved the world from total annihilation from space laser, from man-made super viruses and from rising sea-levels. That's not to mention plain old nuclear Armageddon on at least five separate occasions. Free use of my new wife's pussy doesn't seem too much of a thank you, does it?"

"I'm so very glad you think so."

"I've got to ask though," said Gordon. "You like him so much, I wonder why you agreed to marry me instead of waiting for him?"

"Even if he asked eventually, if, I'm not that suicidal. He tied the knot once, you know. She only lasted five minutes before they whacked her. No, a stockbroker who comes home safely every evening and a house in the Home Counties will do me fine."

"And you own bull when he's not in the field."

"Quite." Moneypenny sighed. "Poor James. He's the finest agent in the world, but he's never going to have a family."

Gordon walked over to her and rubbed her belly. "That's why we are going to raise his children for him, aren't we? So, no woman cages the great 007, eh?"

"Indeed. Oh, and thanks for reminding me. " Moneypenny started patting and searching the bed around her and eventually found what she was looking for. "Clean up and put this back on, dear."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Gordon shuffled in the bathroom, his trousers still around his ankles. He did his best to clean up his crotch with some soap and water and dried himself with a hand towel. He reattached the device to his penis and sat down on the loo. Taking off his left shoe, he removed a microphone no bigger than a crayon from the heel.

"Epsilon Nine to SPECTRE HQ. Bond to Tokyo. Repeat. Bond to Tokyo. DNA for targeted novel bubo-ebola..."

There was suddenly a loud banging on the door. "Are you going to be long, darling? I've got spunk dribbling out down my leg here."

"I'll bring you some tissue out in just a moment, love" Gordon cried. Just as he was stuffing the transmitting device back in its slot, he hesitated for just a second and then whispered again into the microphone.

"DNA acquired."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was 9 am on Monday morning. Q was on his back underneath the Aston Martin making some careful realignments of the flamethrowers when he heard the door of the workshop open. He slid himself out. "Ah, Moneypenny. Back from the honeymoon already?"

"It was cut short," she replied. "It turned out my beloved was an enemy agent just as we suspected. Oh, woe is me, I am a woman jilted and abused and all that."

"Good heavens, my dear. I hope you were okay," said Q.

"Luckily, I was able to immobilize him," said Moneypenny smiling, "with a short sharp shock to the testicles."

She reached into her handbag and deposited the small metal device back on Q's workbench. "Speaking of which, I'm returning this. And, of course, it'll need a full recharge and disinfect."

"Ah, the old Thunderballs 2000," said Q. "I'm glad it came in useful."

"It did. It really did," said Moneypenny. "I don't know what on Earth possessed you to spend six months and a million pounds researching and developing it, but it turned out to be ideal thing in the situation. The Octopussy, the Moonraker, and the GoldenEye, on the other hand, well, those I'm keeping to try another day."